Being at the Chart House made me feel as though I were in an old folks community in Florida. I’ve been to Florida once, it was actually the first state I stepped my little foot on. The family that adopted my family over from China are from Florida. I don’t remember the state much but it’s rummer that all old people go there to get away from us youngins. Life starts after 80 and it starts in Florida because it’s a geriatric haven there and here at the Chart House.

See what I mean, nothing but old people, everywhere, and not just old people, but rich old people. They sat us in the cocktail area, right next to a table of four, crazy old ladies day out. Watch out girls gone wild because these ladies were drinking and they were looking for a good time. But it was really uncomfortable because we were trapped in a corner table. The back of my chair was pinned up against another lady’s chair and every time I felt the urge to relax and lean back I hesitated because my back would rub up against hers.

Every time I go to a seafood place by the pier I can’t help but the get the urge to order clam chowder. I feel like if I love the clam chowder, I will more than likely love what’s coming next and if the clam chowder sucks dick cheese then chances are it will taste like dick cheese. The clam chowder cost $4.95 and sucked donkey dick. Great, check please! I didn’t get to taste a clam until I got half way through my soup. I didn’t really care for the flavor much, the potatoes were super mushy, and it looked a bit green, like celery chowder.

For appetizer we got the Hot Sampler, $18.95. It consists of cried chicken wings, fried zucchini, oyster rockefeller and calamari.

They oysters here were delicious, but this sauce they put with it was nasty as hell. It was super heavy, creamy and didn’t mix well with anything in your stomach.

These were the fried calamari and I didn’t care for them much either. The lady next to us seemed to take a liking to these though.

My favorite of the samplers were the fried zucchinis. The were delicious and cut the perfect width to where you get a proper amount of meat in each bite and it was cooked just right, not too mushy or raw. The grated parmeseam cheese on top was a nice touch.

I don’t know why we chose to order more but we did and we really shouldn’t have. This here is the Salmon Linguine, $10.95. As if the fried sampler platter didn’t make us feel like fat bastards enough; this plate really put us over the top. As you can see they didn’t put much care into the presentation of this dish at all. The bottom side of my dish was just bare dry noodles.

I think they cut up the salmon because it gives off the allusion that your getting more salmon than you think. I didn’t mind this because it guaranteed bits of salmon in every bite. The sauce was super rich, creamy and buttery in an instant heart attack kind of way.

Not a bad view during sunset.

View Larger Map

Chart House
1765 Ala Moana Blvd # 2
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 941-6669

Conveniently located in Kailua on the way to Lanakai Beach Kalapawai Market definitely isn’t hurting for business. As a matter of fact every time I come here this place always seems pretty packed for a local market.

Kalapawai stands apart from your average joe market because not only can one come here for basic necessities like milk, home pregnancy tests, condoms and alcohol but one can come and stay for lunch. There’s a fine deli in the back of the place and usually someone out front inducing you with tantalizing BBQ aromas. What’s one do to? Surrender you poor unfortunate soul, surrender.

This is the Yogurt Bowl, $4.99, with fruit yogurt, granola and fresh fruit. I thought this was a pretty good deal considering the bowl was a meal in it itself. I really like the generous amount of granola that was given and it stayed crunchy even though it was premade.

There was a lot of dried fruit and some fresh bananas at the bottom. It came with one strawberry that also served the purpose of a garnish.

This is the Italian Sub, $7.49, french baguette, ham, turkey, salami, provolone, lettuce, tomato, pepperoncini, Italian dressing and sun dried tomatoes pesto. This place has kick ass sandwiches but I gotta tell ya, there sandwiches are small as hell, which is why I don’t come here all the time.

On this day Ray and I didn’t have a very large appetite so as usual we shared and it was actually the perfect amount of food. I’m a fan of this place, regardless of their puny sandwiches. Come here for good sandwiches and if your hungry order two.

Here’s an older post on Kalapawai and their restaurant.

View Larger Map

Kalapawai Market
306 S Kalaheo Ave
Kailua, HI 96734

Get Directions(808) 262-4359

I could understand why a lot of locals stir clear of Waikiki. With mobs of tourists and an endless supply of pigs in cars, on bikes and even foot ready to give hard criminal jay walking tickets at any given moment. However, where there are mobs of tourist, there are hotels and where there are hotels therein lies restaurants and they’re usually pretty damn good.

Hula Grill is located in the Outrigger Hotel and the best time to come is right before sunset.

That’s not a mural on the wall; it was actually our view.

I really appreciate places that give free all you can eat bread. These were given to us hot filled with herbs and incredibly soft. I usually have a one basket rule but sometimes rules are meant to be broken, this was one of those times. I broke down and had the waiter get me another basket.

On the table laid what tasted similar to the Thai sweet and spicy chili and olive oil. They tasted marvelous with the bread. I don’t suggest it because it’s addicting and what led me to break my one basket rule.

For starters we got Kahuku Corn Crab Cakes with pickled plum aioli, $11.00. It came with three cakes. Although these were called “corn crab cakes, I didn’t really notice any in the cakes. Maybe they’re referring to corn meal? It came with few slices of mushrooms on top along with a fresh green mixture. These were good but a little small. I like my crab cakes with big hearty chunks of crab and I didn’t get that with these. They were cooked to perfection with a nice golden skin on both sides. The best crab cakes on the island is still from the Garlic Restaurant, but these had really nice presentation, which is always a good thing.

For dinner we order the Shrimp Scampi with garlic butter udon noodles, tomatoes and capers, $20.75. The waiter split our order for us so we could each eat off our own plates. Although it was a nice gesture, I would of preferred it if he left it all on one plate, for blog purposes. I’m quite certain that no more than one package of udon noodle was used. I was really disappointed with the amount of noodles we received. The picture made it look like we got way more than what we really did. We got 2 pieces of shrimp each. Not a lot of shrimp but they made up for it in size. These had to be tiger shrimp. The flavor was really tasty  but after the first few bites Ray and I both agreed that this dish was a little too buttery. I felt like my insides were given a lube job.

I’m telling you these shrimp were large.  Besides being slightly too buttery and the small portions, I really did enjoy this dish.

Yes, come right before sunset so you can experience it all. There was also live music in the background, not from here but from down below but we could hear it loud and clear. Overall my experience here was nice. I hate the prices, and food wasn’t mind blowing. I love the shrimp, sunset, music, Ray and feeling like I was on vacation.

View Larger Map

Hula Grill
2335 Kalakaua Ave # 116
Honolulu, HI 96815
(808) 923-4852

Get D