That’s a pretty ballsy name for a taco shop. I remember being referred to this place awhile back and every time we drive by we’re on our way home and say, “oh well, next time we’ll just have to see.” Well, next time finally came and it was time to see if killer taco was to die for.

From the outside the place looks like a dine in restaurant. Being waited on sounds just about right after a long day at the beach.

Ah, dang-it! We were fooled by those dark tinted windows. You mean I have to go up to the counter and order there. Oh, alright, but no tip for you.

Ray ordered a burrito, as usual. I don’t know, the man likes his burritos. I guess you can’t say anything since he’s Mexican. But for once I dare you to order a taco man, no not the pink taco, the Mexican cooked kind you dirty bastard. Ah, forget it. Get a bloody burrito.

He got the Long Board Burrito, $5.49. It came with rice, refried or black beans, choice of meat, cheese, salsa, sour cream and guacamole. As you can see the burrito was a bloody mess. The making of the burrito was poor. I can’t say that this was Ray’s worst burrito, since he’s had so many, the odds are in their favor. But I can say it was a bitch to hear him wine about it throughout lunch. “It’s so soggy. This shit is mushy, My burrito is falling apart. This taste like shit.” Oh, my God, dude, did your dick just start bleeding. Maybe you should stick a Q-tip up that thing and just shut the fuck up so I can eat my food in peace.

I ordered two chicken tacos, one crispy and one soft. They came with the usual, cheese, lettuce, salsa and choice of meat; I chose chicken. The hard taco was $2.19 and the soft was $2.29.

Uh, did someone forget the chicken? Seriously, what am I paying for, a taco shell and scraps of rabbit food.

My soft taco was served and wrapped up in aluminum tin foil. I’m gonna just go ahead and say this was a bit irritating. It probably wouldn’t have annoyed me as much if I didn’t hate my crispy taco, or if Ray had not been at my side bitching about his meal the whole time. So when it came time to eat my soft taco, I think I had already prejudged it.

But it doesn’t change the fact that this taco really was a piece of shit. This is a really sad soft taco. It was a soggy, mushy mess. I ate my flaccid taco and Ray and I quickly headed out.

Maybe we just got them on a bad day, who knows. But with so many great restaurants near by, I don’t think they’ll be seeing me for a while. Click below for directions
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Killer Tacos
66-560 Kamehameha Hwy
Haleiwa, HI 96712

Get Directions(808) 637-4573

Every time we drive by I’m like, let’s go there soon. I really want to check it out. Ray cringes, and pretends he doesn’t hear me. St. Louis Drive In sits at the corner of Waialae and 3rd Ave. and is pretty easy to miss since it’s so small. The place looks a bit tore up from the floor up; the kinda place that you should mentally and physically prepare yourself for, you know, with meditation, yoga, and tums, lots of tums. This draws me for some reason.

Hey, no worries, no dress code here.

Ray ordered the Mahi Sandwich, $6.55. It looks really good, yet really weird, is that a pancake in his sandwich? After poking and observing a bit more I discover that the fish is battered with pancake mix. Did they run out of regular batter or are they trying to be innovative? A drive in being innovative? Could happen. I’m not saying the next top chef works here, but maybe it’s grandma’s secret recipe. The sandwich was alright. The batter was good at first bite but then the fish just seemed limpy, and mushy. I felt like the pancake around the fish just acted as a sponge and soaked up the grease from the grill.

I ordered the Beef Stew, $5.95. It came with two scoops of rice and a small mac salad. The rice was horrible, hard some spots and mushy other spots. The stew was atrocious, definitely left overs, probably from early that month. It wasn’t very hot, hell, it wasn’t even warm. I got one half of a potato. It was as though someone got lazy and decided to cut the potato in halves to save time, instead of pieces. The beef was the worst part though. When you think of beef stew, you think of slow roasted, super tender meat right? At least I do. The beef was like jerky. No joke. It was so tough that when I took a bite some of it managed to get stuck between the walls of my teeth. At first I was hugely disappointed with the amount of meat I got but after taking a bite, I realized it was plenty because I couldn’t find it in myself to eat any more. Yep, this definitely gets the award for Worst Beef Stew Ever Made.

“You happy now?” Ray says with a sarcastic tone. He shakes his head, and just looks at me. It’s so fucking annoying because I know what he’s thinking, that this was exactly the reason why he doesn’t like coming to places like this, because the food sucks salty donkey dick cheese. But he doesn’t say much more because he knows I wouldn’t hesitate to smash my beef stew in his face. After eating we rush home because Ray has a weak stomach and his asshole needs to throw-up. I slide open the door while he’s on the shitter and that’s when I say, “I’m happy now babe.”

I do want to add that service was friendly and prices was super cheap. They have daily specials, student specials, and grape juice. Some items I found on the menu that are super duper cheap are grill cheese - $1.45, tuna sandwich - $1.75, 3 pancakes - $3.30, loco moco - $4.80. Because of it’s cheap prices I support this place, just do yoga one hour before you come, tums are optional.

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St Louis Drive In
3145 Waialae Ave
Honolulu, HI 96816

Get Directions(808) 734-3673

The India House so far is the last Indian restaurant I have left to try. I may not have written on all of them, yet, but oh, I’ve been there alright. It’s kind of sad because every time I drive by business looks dead. What makes it sad is that there’s another Indian restaurant about one block down the street and they always look packed. I’m one to believe that packed places are usually packed with sheep that don’t really know any better, I also believe in sharing the love so Ray and I took our happy asses one block over to India House.

The place is really small. When we walked in no one was there. Hello, is anyone there?

We ordered the Lamb Madras, $14.75. As you can see there was a whole lot of sauce and not much meat or other stuff. The food was alright. It’s pretty hard for me to hate Indian. However, just looking at the amount of food I was really disappointed. What is it about Indian Restaurants giving the skimpiest portions here on the island and for not very cheap? It’s so disappointing. Of course Ray had to hear me bitch during dinner. “They just need to get off that high horse because it doesn’t look like business is doing so good. Maybe, just maybe if they gave more food, then they would have more business?” Anyhow, that’s how I feel about most, not all, Indian restaurants here. I feel like they give the smallest portions for a lot of money because they take advantage of the fact that there’s like 5 Indian restaurants here.

The naan was horrible and tasted microwaved. As a matter of fact, I heard the microwave go off several times during our dine in and we were one of only two tables there. Naan should come out warm, fresh, light and super soft, after all we do have to pay for it, $2.50. This was a bit stiff in the center, like it was over-baked the first time and then just left out till someone ordered some and then microwaved.

Another disappointing factor was the rice. We ordered plain rice and we got plain Chinese white rice, $3.75. Who the hell sells Chinese rice at an Indian restaurant? Great attention to details guys, and then to charge $3.75 for it. It’s a joke. I don’t know about you but when I order just plain rice at an Indian place I’m expecting Indian basmati rice. Needless to say the rice just didn’t go right with the entre.

As you can probably tell I’m definitely not a fan. Next time I’m walking with the sheep and taking my happy ass down the block.

Here’s a few more post I found. Apparently I’m not the only unhappy customer.

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I would of love to linked to some positive feedback but I couldn’t find any. Doesn’t surprise me. This place is a horrible example of Indian food. Shame on them for not caring about the quality of food that bares their name.

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Indian House
2633 S King St # 105
Honolulu, HI 96826

Get Directions(808) 955-7552