The Eastside Grill is located right next to The Greek Corner. I’m a huge fan of The Greek Corner, so I was hoping its next door neighbor was would put out some tasty competition that was as equally affordable.

This was my fist time here so I didn’t really know what to expect. It didn’t surprise me to see a full array of liquor at the bar and several large televisions throughout the restaurant all playing a different sport simultaneously.

This was definitely a sports bar with a college, Hawaiian vibe.

You can always count on Old Captain Morgan to be there.

We ordered the Tomato Basil Pasta with Shrimp, $9.25 but we requested to have both chicken and shrimp and like always, money talks, and for a small fee, ($3.00) it was done. I really enjoyed the large shrimp. I think it came with a total of 5 pieces of shrimp. As for the chicken. I think there might have been maybe 5 pieces as well, and that’s giving them the benefit of the doubt. Although the flavor was good, the dish itself was dry. I mean, they should of just called it a pasta salad. Also, for $12.25 I didn’t get much noodles. Warning, objects in picture are a lot larger than they appear. This dish came with two pieces of garlic bread. I enjoyed them very much because they weren’t too greasy or salty.

Our friend ordered Chopped Steak Stir Fry, $7.95. As you can see in the picture, it’s “tender “unique” steak sauteed’ with mixed vegetables & toss greens.” I’m curious as to why they put unique in quotations. What’s so unique about this steak? Hummm? It’s like saying something has special sauce. What’s so special about the sauce? Yeah, uh huh, sure. Hold the special sauce, I’ll take ranch spank you very much. Just like the meat, I don’t need any “unique meat.” I’m a boring person that prefers my meat normal. Anyway, this was not my dish, it was Shane’s and he ordered as is. Pussy.

I forgot to take a picture of the dish but I did get to taste it and I can tell you nothing was unique about this dish. It was boring as hell. You know those prepackaged frozen stir fry meals you get at the grocery store, well that’s exactly what this tasted like. Just heat and serve.

For dessert I ordered a mud pie, $5.95. I was appalled when I got this. Seriously, are you guys looking at what was served to me. Is this not the skinniest most pathetic piece of pie, ever? The mud pies I’m accustomed to looks like a ginormous mess of “mud,” or kona coffee ice cream, then drizzled with chocolate sauce, covered in whipped cream, drizzled with chocolate sauce again and then sprinkled with nuts and topped with a cherry. If it sounds like I have experience in mud pies it’s because I do.

Take a closer look and what do you see, frost bite.

Not just one side but on both. Unbelievable! I envisioned myself picking up the mud pie and chucking in straight in the back of my waitresses head as she walked away, turning her into the dirty whore that she is for serving me this atrocious piece of shit.

Now here’s the worst part, when Ray tried to dig into it with his fork, the thing wouldn’t budge. It was like trying to break apart a brick with a fork. This mud pie wasn’t going down without a fight and either was Ray. Then all of a sudden half of the pie shot, not flew but shot right into the direction of the table caddy corner from us. Luckily it pierced the floor directly in front of some poor strangers foot. The whole family at the table obviously thought that we threw the pie at them, I mean how else is does food get shot across the room like that. We all roared in laughter because the whole situation was hilarious. I put my hands up, letting them know that that was so not intentionally.

Needless to say I hate this place. I can’t help but to be a little offended. What person in their right mind would send something out in that condition. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with white lies. Tell me you guys are out of pie, end of story, no ones hurt. Lie to me bitch, lie to me! The pasta was weak and service was poor. I did skim over their pupu menu and it did look tempting I have to say. I’m gonna take a while guess and say people come here for drinks. They must have really good drinks.

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Eastside Grill
1035 University Ave # 103
Honolulu, HI 96826

Get Directions(808) 952-6555

So right next to Tropicana lies a small taco shop called Tacos Baja. We’ve driven pass this place several times when it was still in the process of being built. I remember thinking, “We’re definitely gonna check it out. This island is in desperate need of some good Mexican food.” Well now that I’ve been here I can tell you that this place sucks donkey dick.

There’s seating outside, where you order, and seating inside.

I am a little perturbed that this place even claims to be authentic. The only thing close to being authentic is the decor, but most certainly not the food.
Ray ordered the combo chicken enchiladas meal, $6.95. It came with rice and beans and 3 enchiladas. I don’t care what anyone says, these were not chicken enchiladas. We all agreed that this tasted more like a chicken Cesar salad wrapped in a corn tortilla. Correct me if I’m wrong, but enchiladas are usually smothered in sauce and melted cheese. It doesn’t even have to be smothered, but some kind of sauce would be nice, even a little. This had no enchilada sauce what so ever, just chicken, lettuce, grated cheese and I think it was a light chipotle cream, that tasted like Cesar dressing because of the cheese that accompanied it. Even eating them were an issue. They couldn’t stay together long enough for him to shovel it into his mouth since there was nothing holding it together.
Rice, beans and dry enchiladas, wow, can somebody get me something to drink. I got cotton mouth just by looking at this picture.

As for me, I ordered shaved ice from Tropicana next door to start and two fish taco. The price for fish varies from market price. I think I paid something like $6.00 for both.

Now don’t everyone go running out the door all at once for some authentic fish tacos. Seriously, cabbage, fish and a corn tortilla, how exhilarating can a these tacos get? If you want fake Mexican food come here and don’t forget to get something to drink. If it’s authentic food you crave, this is not the place for you my friend.

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Directions

Baja Tacos
3040 Waialae Avenue
Honolulu, HI 96816
(808) 737-5893

That’s my honey, Ray. In case your wondering, no that’s not shit on his face. No, he wasn’t looking for love in all the wrong places. What is wrong with you people? Shane dared him to walk out with pudding in his face, so he decided to make good use of the pudding and next thing I know, Ray’s slapping chocolate pudding on his face and we’re on our way out the door.
Ray has this theory that food taste better when someone else makes it. Ray eats quite well because he’s less of a cook than I am. I’m going to take his theory one step further and say food taste even better when someone else makes it and when it’s free.
We pass by Perry’s Smorgy Restaurant often and not once had I the desire to give it a try, that was until Shane said he has a friend that works the counter and would gladly give him and his friends a hook up. And just like that Perry’s Smorgy sounded rather appealing. Hey, why judge a book by it’s cover.
Once in, nothing looked appetizing, so when I doubt eat sugar.

Fruit is a great way to end a meal.
The boys got the ordinary stuff.

Ray’s plate

Shane’s plate
In conclusion, the free part of this meal was huge. I don’t think we would have eaten it if we actually had to pay for it. After testing and our hypothesis in a contained environment we can say with 100% certainty that food not only taste better when someone else makes it but it will taste better when it is free as well. If you plan to pay, I suggest you take your money elsewhere but if your stubborn breakfast is $7.95, lunch is $8.95 and dinner is $11.95.

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Perry’s Smorgy Restaurants
2380 Kuhio Ave
Honolulu, HI 96815
(808) 926-0184