After writing about the Greek Corner not too long ago I got a few comments mentioning the Olive Tree Cafe from Alan of Maona, Nate of Hwn Pake In Okinawa and Nicolas of Aventures a Hawaii. Of course I had no choice but to check it out. There’s a lot a things I really like about this place and a few that I don’t. I’ll start with the things I didn’t like. First, the service wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t pleasant either. You order at the counter at this place. There was a small line, but when it came time for us to order the young lady that was just so friendly to everyone all of a sudden turned her switch and instantly became a bitch. Alright, maybe that’s a little harsh, but she gave off the impression that she wanted us to hurry up and order because she didn’t know us. I thought that maybe I was just over analyzing but then Ray goes, “is it just me or was she a total cunt?” Oh, how I love when my honey calls other chicks a cunt, it’s like sweet melodies to my ears. There was a tip jar at the counter and of course I wanted to take money out rather than put money in. They don’t have any to go menus and they charge you extra for petty things that should be free like, dressing or extra sauce, .96 cents, fucking greedy bastards.

We ordered the hummus for starters, $4.78. I tried making hummus once and came to the conclusion that some things just taste better when someone else makes it. I probably will never make hummus again, but I’ll eat the garbanzo beans out of it if someone else goes through the trouble of making it. I really enjoyed the hummus here. The little puddles of olive oil really added richness and flavor to every bite. The pita bread was soft and delicious, exactly the way it should be but it wasn’t homemade because Ray saw them taking it out of a bag and wondered what brand it was so we could purchase it next time we were at the grocery store. If your a huge hummus fan I also recommend the Greek Corner. They have amazing hummus along with everything else.

We also ordered Lamb Souvlaki, $10.51. My camera ran out of batteries and died before I could snap a photo but we really enjoyed it. I took a photo of their menu on the board so you guys could check it out.

Overall, I really like it here. The place is really cute and just makes you want to stay for hours and since you could bring your own wine, for a small fee, I wouldn’t mind doing so the next time I’m around. If I remember correctly they charge a very reasonable .50 cents for each glass that is needed for wine but you could bring your own wine glasses if you mind drinking out of water glasses. It didn’t look like they had any restrooms, so I would recommend doing your thing before you come here. Also, come early and guard a table because this place is known to get pretty busy. Happy dining to you!

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Olive Tree Cafe
4614 Kilauea Ave # 107
Honolulu, HI 96816

Get Directions(808) 737-0303

Searching for a good Vietnamese restaurant? With so many to choose from where should one start? I’ll tell you where, Pho To-Chau, that’s where. Word on the street is Pho To-Chau is the place, and when I say “the place” I mean “the place” to go for some really good pho. This place lies at the boarder of China Town and I don’t know if you guys have noticed or not but this place is popping. Every morning there’s a line streaming out it’s door that puts Studio 54 in 1977 to shame. Seriously, there’s always a crazy line and not only that but this place is sandwiched between two other Vietnamese Restaurants that seem vacant; no way, they’re open, I couldn’t tell.

So I mentioned it to one of my co-workers and she goes, “oh girl, this place is the shit, I use to go every Monday with my ex. They have the best pho on the island.” Really? Best pho huh? I’ll be the judge of that.

This is the line we walked up to. It was about a 30 minute wait.

This place had two rooms, roughly about the same size and was packed. I think I saw a total of three female workers. One was the waitress/host, another was the cook/waitress, and then the busser.

It didn’t surprise me to see that service sucked ass, but this place isn’t known for their stellar service. Actually, I thought it was a bit amusing. First one lady comes and takes our drink order, “what do you want to drink?” I order the iced coffee with condensed milk, $2.75 and Ray gets some water. She walks away, no thank you or smile, just completely emotionless. No one should ever get offended or upset over service like this, especially if it’s a hole in the wall and especially if it’s an Asian establishment. Old school Asians, particularly the Chinese/Vietnamese don’t really understand customer service, that’s not their business. Their business is pho, at least it is in this case and it’s about working as efficiently and productively as possible to get you your pho and make them money. At places like this tips stand for, To Insure Prompt Service, so if you get prompt service you should still tip well. Alright back to my coffee, if your a lover of coffee I highly recommend iced coffee with condensed milk from a Vietnamese restaurant. It usually comes out hot and compressed in a dripper with an extra cup of ice on the side. At the bottom of the ice is condensed milk. After the coffee is done dripping you dump it over the ice and mix. It’s sweet and strong and has the best coffee flavor ever. I love love this stuff.

They brought us a pitcher of water because obviously they weren’t planning on coming back to refill.

We ordered spring rolls for appetizer, $3.75, shrimp, pork, fresh herbs, vermicelli rolled in rice paper with special sauce. Each roll was cut up in four pieces each and were nicely and tightly roll. I didn’t like that they were cut in so many pieces. It made me feel like I was eating sushi. I prefer the traditional half cut.

Fuck, I got so excited when I got my pho that I forgot to take a picture right away. It didn’t come so green with basil and mint, that’s just how I like mine. In my opinion the soup is what makes the pho. A lot of people don’t even pay attention to the soup. When I get my pho, the first thing I do before I fuck with it is taste the soup, this lets me know how much I will be enjoying my meal. I loved the soup here. It was really authentic and hearty in flavor. I could tell that the soup was made from scratch and with real beef bones. I was so excited, I knew this was going to be a really good meal. I can’t tell you how much meat they put in here. Wow, these ladies don’t skimp on the meat at all. When I ordered my food they asked if I wanted my meat separate, which means raw on the side, or in my soup. I’m not really of fan of raw meat so I said in the soup. I did see them serve the meat raw on a separate plate to another table and the meat looked really good and fresh to me. It was nicely cut with good color. I was impressed. But the one thing I wasn’t impressed with was the beef ball. I love beef balls and the balls here suck, but they made up for it in everything else.

The pho came with plenty of basil. I love basil. After our lunch I boxed the rest of it up for later. They charge .25 cents for a to go box. Whatever, it’s a quarter and lunch was pretty cheap. When I had my leftovers later I was still so surprised to see how much meat was still left. I haven’t been to a lot of pho restaurants on this island but I think my friend is right, Pho To-Chau has to have the best pho on the island.

This was the line when we left. I guess I’m not the first to discover this place. If you decide to come here, come early or be patient. Also they have weird business hours, They are only open for lunch and close at 2:30.  By the way, the pho cost $6.95.  What a deal.

Pho To-Chau

At the corner of River and N. King.

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Pho To-Chau
1007 River St
Honolulu, HI 96817

Get Directions(808) 533-4549

I’m sure some of you have been to Ono Hawaiian Food so maybe one of you guys could tell me what the hell is really going on here. I mean every time I drive by during peak hours there’s this ridiculous line out the door. My sister came down from Los Angeles not too long ago so when she said she wanted some authentic Hawaiian food I was like, “sweet I know the perfect place, ” so I think. The food has got to be pretty freaking spectacular if people are willing to wait in line out in the rain like it was the morning of black Friday or something.

We got there just before closing and the people that came a few minutes after us were denied entrance enough though the neon sign said open. As you can see from inside the place looks like a small hole in the wall. I felt like I walked right into someones scrapbook. The walls were covered with clutters of pictures, memories, old newspaper clippings, and random scraps that was obviously pieces of someones life but meant diddle lei squat to me.

Service was below average. There’s Hawaiian service with aloha spirit and then there’s island service with an attitude. This was closer to island service. My sister, being a tourist and extremely picky, kept asking questions that are stupid to us but typical for tourist. “What is haupia? What’s laulau? What’s poi? How is it cooked? Do you guys use a lot of oil? Can you steam it?” I just kept telling myself that she’s your sister and a tourist, they don’t know any better but I could tell our waiter’s patience was wearing thin. Finally we decided upon the Combination Plate. Since it was a combo of a few of their signature items and the most expensive item on the menu, $14.75, I was certain that it would be a kick ass meal. The combination plate came with kalua pig and laulau, pipikaula, lomi salmon, haupia and rice.

Looks like a pile of shit.

This is your asshole . . .

This is your asshole on drugs . . . it blows up. Any questions? I think laulau would have been much more effective then that stupid egg commercial they played year after year. Watching them fry it only made me hungry for a loco moco. Now kids don’t judge a book by its cover. Although the laulau here may look like someones asshole on drugs, it tastes real good. So go ahead and toss that salad. I did and I loved it. No really, this was probably the best thing in the combo plate. The meat was really tender with just enough fat for flavor. I think every tourist that comes here should get their hands on some real laulau before they leave so they know what they’re missing out on back in the mainland.

This is the Lomi Salmon. If this dish looks small to you it’s because it is. All the food came in these small sauce dishes. The sad thing is the picture makes it look bigger than it really is. I took a close up so you guys can see what the food actually looks like. Maybe I just didn’t know how to eat it because It seemed like I was just eating salsa. It was bits of salmon and tons of tomatoes.

This is the Kalua Pig. Like the laulau it was tender, moist, and just overall really good. It wasn’t too salty or too greasy.

Along with our meal came some hot sauce. It was brought in the same sauce dishes as everything else so you guys have an idea of how small everything was.

This is the Pipikaula and no I didn’t eat any of it before I took a picture. It only came with two pieces of meat. Pipikaula can mean anything from cold beef jerky to slow smoked ribs. In this case it was cold beef jerky. And that’s exactly what it tasted like, cold jerky or left over scraps of someones food from two weeks ago left in a to go box in the back of a refrigerator for stupid tourists. It was weird to eat beef jerky for dinner, but fuck it. All I’m saying is next time I get invited to a pot luck my ass is bringing a bag of beef jerky. “What, you guys don’t know about beef jerky for dinner, man you guys gotta get out more. Hawaiians do it all the time, it’s tradition.”

And this is sliced onions. I’m not trying to be ignorant but I am clueless. The more I looked at my dinner the more it seemed like left over scraps. Onions for dinner? I don’t get it. Am I suppose to eat it with the laulau? Put hot sauce over it and eat it with the beef jerky? Or maybe, just maybe it’s plan B for a really bad date. “Oh sorry, I would love to kiss you but I just had a dish of raw onions but thanks for dinner and don’t call me I’ll call you.” That has to be it.

And the last of the Combination Plate was the haupia. It was mushy. I’ve had better.

Along with our Combination Plate Selena ordered a side of Kim Chee, $1.80. It was good. I love homemade kim chee.

Selena also ordered a side of Plain Butterfish (Boiled), $5.25. This was the biggest disappointment for my sister. She kept going on and on about how this tasted exactly like moms fish and how mom would go to the grocery store buy a whole fish and make it exactly like this and it cost less than $5.00 and have enough for two days. I have to agree, $5.25 for a few pieces of cheap fish is absurd to me. The fish was good but I will probably never order this again and my mom makes it so much better.

Like I said, I just don’t get it. This place was on my list of places that I had to try just because of the crazy lines that formed out the door. It’s sad but it seems as though every time I go to one of these long ass lines out the door places I end up being hugely disappointed. This place was no different.

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Ono Hawaiian Food
726 Kapahulu Ave
Honolulu, HI
(808) 737-2275