After our usual morning swim, we cruised the streets of Kailua for some serious grub. I’m not picky, my rule of thumb is as long as I’ve never been before, I’m down for the cause, the hunger cause that is. None of us really had much of an opinion, so after no debate we ended up at New Chinese Garden Restaurant.

I wouldn’t expect anything less than red and golden colors at a Chinese restaurant.

Ray likes noodles so when I saw Shanghai Noodles, a noodle dish that I wasn’t familiar with I had no choice but to find out. First I asked the waitress what the Shanghai noodles were like. There was an obvious language barrier there so she held out her pen and said, “big, big.” Alright, I’m assuming that Shanghai noodles are round and as thick as her pen. Sweet, sounds good, we’ll take one of those. It cost $5.75 and came with cabbage, fungus, and really small pieces of pork. We didn’t realize it came with meat until halfway through the plate since the pork pieces were so small. We weren’t expecting any meat so I guess some is better than none. The noodles were a little mushy and it just tasted like everything was slapped together, microwaved, and brought out for our consumption and their profit.

I picked Combination Seafood with Mixed Vegetables on a Sizzling Platter, $8.50. Again, this dish was yet another disappointment. It didn’t taste old, but rather like it was made with no effort or care whatsoever. I mean, really, does this look like a sizzling platter to anyone? No sizzle at all. It was extremely dry for a Chinese dish, no gravy to be found, not even when we cleared the plate was there gravy.

Of course Chinese food just wouldn’t be the same without steamed white rice, .90 cents. These days Ray and I manage to share one bowl.

Overall I was not impressed with this place. Needless to say, I’m not coming back. Now, I don’t want to give off the impression that I had a horrible experience here. I was just disappointed. There’s far too many better places I have been and still yet to go.

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New Chinese Garden Restaurant
426 Uluniu Street
Kailua, HI
(808) 261-9345

To the untrained eye this looks like an average market, similar to that of a convenience store, but inspect a little longer and you will see that what lies before you is a very special place indeed. I know there’s a BBQ pit out front and a huge sign that reads “Beach Burgers here today!” that gives away that you can order food here but of all the times I’ve been here that’s the first time I’ve ever seen it. I’m not big on burgers and it’s not the reason why I’ve come. It’s not that I don’t like them, I’m sure their burgers are lovely but their secret deli is my reason for being here. The deli can easily be missed and it would be a shame if you did so let me help you. When you walk in don’t make any sudden turns just keep heading straight to the back. There you will find a small but quaint deli.

They have cold items to choose from through a glass window or you can order a fresh cold or hot sandwich with the man or woman at the counter. Their sandwiches average about $6.00 and they are delish. I shared a Reuben and a small pasta salad with my friend Sara.

Here’s my half of the sandwich

This is their pasta salad. I don’t recommend it. I know it looks like soup right? We did eat most of it, but that’s a little ridiculous. It cost $4.00 for a small, and that it was. They didn’t give very much at all and it wasn’t very good. Which goes to show you, stick to sandwiches at a deli. Ray got a chicken club. He was very happy with it.

Kalapawai Market is a great place before or after any beach excursion. It’s right around the corner from Lanikai Beach, which is voted one of the best beaches in the world. Actually, instead of wasting time packing a lunch, make a stop here and have a picnic at the beach. That’s what Ray and I did in April when we were on vacation here from California. We had a romantic picnic on the beach right before he proposed to me. It’s one of my fondest memories. Shitty pasta or not, I have nothing but love for this place.

If your hungry and you don’t want to walk to the beach, there’s benches to the side of the market with shade.

And if your a wine-o, you will be pleased to find a nice selection of wine at this market. They have wine openers if you want to spend some extra money on a crappy one that you’ll probably never use again or you can just buy a twist off. Hey, don’t be so judgemental, there’s some really good twisties out there. My favorite is, “Bitch.” Yes, I said Bitch and I’m not talking about your mother. It was suggest to me by the owner one day and I’m so glad that he did because I was really pleased with it. Don’t forget to buy some cheap plastic red cups if your gonna bring it to the beach.

Directions to Kalapawai Market