You know, every so often when the moon is full, the stars are bright and all the planets are perfectly align I feel like being treated to a nice dinner. I had never heard of Tanaka of Tokyo before. Shane said it was like a Benihana’s in the sense that it’s totally table side service and all the food is prepared right there in front of you.

Luckily Ray was smart enough to make reservations. There was a small wait when we got there and then we were escorted to the inner cavity of the restaurant where I all the action went down. It was like we went straight to an underground gambling casino. The place was dark with not a lot of decor on the walls just a bunch of Asians sitting around a large round table, waiting to be dealt out some serious food. The chef puts on a show deals out the food and then, next round of food, deals it out and so on. There were lots of Asians, and commotion going on. Yeah, like I said, It definitely felt like we just stepped into a secret underground casino. How exciting is that.

Everyone is started off with a salad. I suggest you ask for the dressing on the side. No dressing is better than whatever it is that they are using. Even I, the salad whore, could not eat this, pat-tuey. I also ordered a tropical drink, to the right of my salad. It comes with the glass but no worries, a clean one is given to you at the end of the meal so you don’t have to take home a dirty one. Cheers!

This was our chef. Since this was table side service putting on a big show and making your guest laugh is key.

The food, the food, the food is on fire, we don’t give a fuck let the mother fucker burn, burn . . . Just having a little fun.

I don’t remembered exactly what we ordered but I can tell you it was two combination seafood deals at about $40.00-$50.00 each. So this is how it went down, were sat at a round table with strangers. You can make nice with them or ignore them, either way, your sitting with them. We threw everyone a smile and nodded to let them know we were friendly but for the most part we ignored them and they ignored us, this is probably due to the fact that we don’t speak Japanese and like all Japanese they pretend not to speak English. Waiter comes by to takes everyone’s order. Since I’m so use to sharing I was like, “we’ll order this now and if were still hungry we’ll get more later. ” “Uh, yeah, it’s not sushi honey, you have to order everything now,” Ray informs me. He was right, you have to order everything at once, the chef then is given the list and collects all his raw materials in the back, brings it to the table, then kindly introduces himself. When the chef returns everybody shuts the fuck up because we know at places like this it’s more about the show than it is about the food.

Everyone must of ordered the same damn thing because everything our master teppan-yaki chef prepared was dealt out to everyone. He better not be giving our food to everybody else, and if he is he better give us some of their food because sharing is caring bitches. I don’t care if you have a chef knife in your hand I will Shang-hi your ass.

At the end of the meal we were given a choice of green tea, vanilla or chocolate ice-cream to choose from. I got green tea and my honey got vanilla. The green tea was definitely better than the vanilla but my honey begged to differ, which was fine because I didn’t want to share any of it. Overall I am quite pleased with my experience here. The chef was skillful at presenting the food with great flair. Sometimes it’s wise to throw the cheap card out the door.

I forgot to mention that at the beginning of dinner a photographer comes over to the table and takes group photos of everyone. “What the fuck, I’m role playing here and I don’t want evidence of me up in a secret underground casino you dumb fuck, what do you think this is Disney Land? Fuck off,” I gave the photographer my best poker face and kindly took the photo anyway. At the end of dinner he comes back and distributes the freshly developed photos to each group. As he handed me our photo I did what any respected cheap ass would of done if they were in my shoes, I whipped out my camera with a quickness and with the skill of a nimble ninja took a photo of a photo. That’s right bitches, I still had my cheap card the whole time.

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Tanaka of Tokyo
131 Kaiulani Ave
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 922-4233

I could understand why a lot of locals stir clear of Waikiki. With mobs of tourists and an endless supply of pigs in cars, on bikes and even foot ready to give hard criminal jay walking tickets at any given moment. However, where there are mobs of tourist, there are hotels and where there are hotels therein lies restaurants and they’re usually pretty damn good.

Hula Grill is located in the Outrigger Hotel and the best time to come is right before sunset.

That’s not a mural on the wall; it was actually our view.

I really appreciate places that give free all you can eat bread. These were given to us hot filled with herbs and incredibly soft. I usually have a one basket rule but sometimes rules are meant to be broken, this was one of those times. I broke down and had the waiter get me another basket.

On the table laid what tasted similar to the Thai sweet and spicy chili and olive oil. They tasted marvelous with the bread. I don’t suggest it because it’s addicting and what led me to break my one basket rule.

For starters we got Kahuku Corn Crab Cakes with pickled plum aioli, $11.00. It came with three cakes. Although these were called “corn crab cakes, I didn’t really notice any in the cakes. Maybe they’re referring to corn meal? It came with few slices of mushrooms on top along with a fresh green mixture. These were good but a little small. I like my crab cakes with big hearty chunks of crab and I didn’t get that with these. They were cooked to perfection with a nice golden skin on both sides. The best crab cakes on the island is still from the Garlic Restaurant, but these had really nice presentation, which is always a good thing.

For dinner we order the Shrimp Scampi with garlic butter udon noodles, tomatoes and capers, $20.75. The waiter split our order for us so we could each eat off our own plates. Although it was a nice gesture, I would of preferred it if he left it all on one plate, for blog purposes. I’m quite certain that no more than one package of udon noodle was used. I was really disappointed with the amount of noodles we received. The picture made it look like we got way more than what we really did. We got 2 pieces of shrimp each. Not a lot of shrimp but they made up for it in size. These had to be tiger shrimp. The flavor was really tasty  but after the first few bites Ray and I both agreed that this dish was a little too buttery. I felt like my insides were given a lube job.

I’m telling you these shrimp were large.  Besides being slightly too buttery and the small portions, I really did enjoy this dish.

Yes, come right before sunset so you can experience it all. There was also live music in the background, not from here but from down below but we could hear it loud and clear. Overall my experience here was nice. I hate the prices, and food wasn’t mind blowing. I love the shrimp, sunset, music, Ray and feeling like I was on vacation.

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Hula Grill
2335 Kalakaua Ave # 116
Honolulu, HI 96815
(808) 923-4852

Get D

Bubba Gump was born from the major motion film Forest Gump. The movie was a huge hit earning over 677 million during its theatrical run and nominated for 13 academy awards and taking home 6 of them. The first Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. opened up two years later in 1996 in Monterey California, I’ve been to that one too by the way. Today there’s about 29 Bubba Gumps around and not just in the U.S. but they also branched out to Mexico, Japan, Bali, Philippines, Hong Kong and even Malaysia.

The inside was open so you could eat and watch shoppers stroll by.

Today was one of those days that I wanted to start off with something sweet  so I ordered Mama’s Best Strawberry Shortcake, $6.99. I was surprised because this looked just like the picture on the menu. Like all strawberry short cakes the cake part was a little dry but when it’s served with ice cream, strawberries, whipped cream and bathing in a pool of heavens sweet nectar it changes everything. I really liked this. It was big, so big that we couldn’t even finish it and there was 4 of us. I think the only thing that could of made this one better is to add a bit more whipped cream and strawberries.

For our main course Ray and I shared Shrimper’s Heaven, $18.99. It came with Coconut Shrimp, Chilly Shrimp, Fried Shrimp, Tempura Shrimp, Fries, Cole Slaw and a trio of dipping sauces. I figure you can’t go to Bubba Gumps and not get shrimp right? I know it’s not exactly cheap but it had a little caricature of a shrimp next to it on the menu as a symbol of one of the house special dishes, so I figured it was worth a shot and and a few extra bucks.

Shrimp Tempura. I’ve had better. In my opinion, if your in the mood for tempura shrimp get it from a Japanese Restaurant. It came with about 4 pieces.

The Fried Shrimp. Bor-ring. This came with about 4 pieces too.

Coconut Shrimp. This was very heavy and greasy. It too came with about 4 pieces.

Chilly Shrimp. This is just shrimp cocktail with the shell left on. I’m not a fan of shrimp cocktail but if I were I’d say they were delicious. I think I would of preferred it if it were prepealed, is that a word, but only because we were having lunch with our friends Nate and Taylor from San Francisco that we hadn’t seen in a while so I had to behave like a civilized human being, not that civilized human beings don’t peal shrimp, but you get my point; wow, talk about a run on sentence. Anyhow, usually I love getting down and dirty with my food, like picking up a nice handful and chucking it straight across the room right beside Ray’s pretty little head, knocking him out. TKO baby, I hit you, you hit the ground. One day, I promise you, one day. Back to the shrimp, I have to say they gave a good amount of these chilly shrimp. I didn’t count but if I had to guess I would say there were about 10 little critters just waiting to be consumed.

It came with cole slaw. I want to say it was about 6 oz. Not very much, but who needs a lot of this stuff?

Fries were basic. Nothing amazing but not bad.

While we were there two tables down from us someone had a birthday so if you ever come here you could pretend like it’s your kids birthday, like everybody else does and get a free dessert, while complete strangers sing to you guys.  I do it all the time.

The best time to come is at sunset which is around 6:30. They have a great view, being on the second floor and all. Overall I have to say this place just didn’t do it for me. I know it attracts tons of tourist and all I’m saying is leave this place for the tourist you deserve better.

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Bubba Gump
1450 Ala Moana Blvd # 3253
Honolulu, HI 96814

Get Directions(808) 949-4867