Internet and cafe, they’re just so perfect together, it had to be destiny. I think all cafe shops should offer free internet. Shane, Ray and I are all internet whores. There’s this cafe we go to called Metis and so far it’s the best internet cafe on the island. We’re totally open to trying other cafes, as long as there’s internet available. One day Ray and I grabbed our laptops and went out in search of new internet cafe. Where did we end up? Morning Brew in Kailua.

Ray ordered his usual cafe mokka, for $3.30. I couldn’t decide so of course I follow my infamous words of wisdom, “when in doubt order sugar,” and that’s exactly what I did. I ordered some brownie carmel thing. It was beautiful and would have made a decadent treat if Ray had shared with me. One thing about me is that not only do I love to eat and try other peoples food, but I also love to share my food. Hey sharing is caring and I fucking “Kea.” So when people don’t eat or even try my food, I get offended and butt hurt, like, “who the fuck do you think you are, think your better than me, better than my brownie, too good for your own good. Can’t even take a bite. Fuck you and your shitty cafe mocha. That thing probably has more calories and fat than my brownie anyway. Donkey dick,” At least that’s what I telepathically said to him, I think the message got lost somewhere in translation. My point is the brownie was too much, just over the top. After eating it all I felt like a fresh bag of shit.

Also there’s a full menu with prices that your wallet will be happy with, like a hummus bagel $3.25, organic large curry chicken salad $6.75 and Nachos $5.85.

Internet, cafe, and sugary goodness, together at last.

Mac for life baby. If only I had bought some stock in it a decade ago.

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Morning Brew
600Kailua Road
Kailua, HI 96734

The best thing about this place is not their philly cheese steak sandwiches but that they have free wifi. Not only is it free but it’s also strong enough to steal from the Star Bucks across the street. Fuck Star Bucks for trying to make us pay for T-Moble.

As for the cheese steak sandwiches, I have yet to find out. I ordered the Ono Philly Chicken, Cheese & Mushroom Sandwich. Sandwiches come in three sizes, 7″, 10″ and 16″. Ray and I shared the 10″ for $7.19. All sandwiches come with your choice of cheese, grilled onions and hot or sweet peppers all placed inside an Amoroso roll that’s apparently imported for Philadelphia. We also got a small order of steak fries for $2.19. Ray didn’t want any onions and I gave him most of the mushrooms because I love him and wasn’t really all that hungry. Another great thing about this place is that they are open 24/7. That means after the clubs when your all drunk and incoherent you don’t have to settle for hot dogs any more. If hot dogs with florescent green relish tastes good when your drunk just think how good these babies will taste, fucking incredible.

After we ate, we walked over to Star Bucks and opened up our lap tops. Hey, we’re still paying customers, just not Star Bucks.

Directions to Ono Cheese Steak

Ono Cheese Steak Website