You know, every so often when the moon is full, the stars are bright and all the planets are perfectly align I feel like being treated to a nice dinner. I had never heard of Tanaka of Tokyo before. Shane said it was like a Benihana’s in the sense that it’s totally table side service and all the food is prepared right there in front of you.

Luckily Ray was smart enough to make reservations. There was a small wait when we got there and then we were escorted to the inner cavity of the restaurant where I all the action went down. It was like we went straight to an underground gambling casino. The place was dark with not a lot of decor on the walls just a bunch of Asians sitting around a large round table, waiting to be dealt out some serious food. The chef puts on a show deals out the food and then, next round of food, deals it out and so on. There were lots of Asians, and commotion going on. Yeah, like I said, It definitely felt like we just stepped into a secret underground casino. How exciting is that.

Everyone is started off with a salad. I suggest you ask for the dressing on the side. No dressing is better than whatever it is that they are using. Even I, the salad whore, could not eat this, pat-tuey. I also ordered a tropical drink, to the right of my salad. It comes with the glass but no worries, a clean one is given to you at the end of the meal so you don’t have to take home a dirty one. Cheers!

This was our chef. Since this was table side service putting on a big show and making your guest laugh is key.

The food, the food, the food is on fire, we don’t give a fuck let the mother fucker burn, burn . . . Just having a little fun.

I don’t remembered exactly what we ordered but I can tell you it was two combination seafood deals at about $40.00-$50.00 each. So this is how it went down, were sat at a round table with strangers. You can make nice with them or ignore them, either way, your sitting with them. We threw everyone a smile and nodded to let them know we were friendly but for the most part we ignored them and they ignored us, this is probably due to the fact that we don’t speak Japanese and like all Japanese they pretend not to speak English. Waiter comes by to takes everyone’s order. Since I’m so use to sharing I was like, “we’ll order this now and if were still hungry we’ll get more later. ” “Uh, yeah, it’s not sushi honey, you have to order everything now,” Ray informs me. He was right, you have to order everything at once, the chef then is given the list and collects all his raw materials in the back, brings it to the table, then kindly introduces himself. When the chef returns everybody shuts the fuck up because we know at places like this it’s more about the show than it is about the food.

Everyone must of ordered the same damn thing because everything our master teppan-yaki chef prepared was dealt out to everyone. He better not be giving our food to everybody else, and if he is he better give us some of their food because sharing is caring bitches. I don’t care if you have a chef knife in your hand I will Shang-hi your ass.

At the end of the meal we were given a choice of green tea, vanilla or chocolate ice-cream to choose from. I got green tea and my honey got vanilla. The green tea was definitely better than the vanilla but my honey begged to differ, which was fine because I didn’t want to share any of it. Overall I am quite pleased with my experience here. The chef was skillful at presenting the food with great flair. Sometimes it’s wise to throw the cheap card out the door.

I forgot to mention that at the beginning of dinner a photographer comes over to the table and takes group photos of everyone. “What the fuck, I’m role playing here and I don’t want evidence of me up in a secret underground casino you dumb fuck, what do you think this is Disney Land? Fuck off,” I gave the photographer my best poker face and kindly took the photo anyway. At the end of dinner he comes back and distributes the freshly developed photos to each group. As he handed me our photo I did what any respected cheap ass would of done if they were in my shoes, I whipped out my camera with a quickness and with the skill of a nimble ninja took a photo of a photo. That’s right bitches, I still had my cheap card the whole time.

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Tanaka of Tokyo
131 Kaiulani Ave
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 922-4233

On this day we decided to head over to DMV to register to vote. This was a pretty stupid idea because as most of you probably already know a trip to the local DMV usually sucks donkey dick. Our visit to the DMV was no different. The lady that took our paper work was a dirty cunt bag. Since we hardly come to this side of town we decided to stay and eat up. The first place that caught our eye was this place called Noodle Me House of Ramen and Curry. At first glance one would think it’s a children’s store or maybe a google store because of its colorful sign but if you actually read the sign you’ll see it’s a noodle house.

With the exception of the table behind me this was the dining part of the restaurant.

The man that took our order was a one man army. He took our order cooked it and then served it. We started off with an order of Gyoza, 6 pieces for only $3.25. Basically they were upside down chicken pot stickers. We all really enjoyed these. These little dumplins were delivered to us hot off the grill.

We ordered the Spicy Seafood Combo Meal, $8.25. It came with this Noodle Sea Food Soup filled with fresh veggies, noodles, and seafood.

The combo also came with a heaping serving of rice. This was the way fried rice should be. It wasn’t too salty or mushy and every bit was bursting with flavor.

Hold on folks there’s more, our combo also came with more of our favorite dumplings. Can’t get enough of these. Holy shit, all this food for only $8.25. What a steal.

Shane ordered the Shoyu Yakisoba Noodles, $5.95. It was a mixture of pork, vegetables and noodles all stir fried together.  He goes, “I could seriously eat this everyday.”

This is definitely one of our new favorite finds. Our bill came out to $18.27. All that food for under $20.00. We all laughed because we kinda felt bad about it and left the one man army a mighty fine tip.

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Noodle Me House of Ramen and Curry
Ste 14
1210 Dillingham Blvd
Honolulu, HI 96817

Get Directions(808) 845-8886

Alright, I’ve been holding off on writing this post long enough. If you’ve been a good little fan and reading all my post then you’ll remember when I said Metis, or Rainy Day Cafe is the best internet cafe on this island in one of my previous post on Morning Brew. Metis just recently changed its name to Rainy Day Cafe. I personally thought the name Metis was more fitting. The manager was hired to give the place a nice douche job. Although the cafe was nice before I do notice a few subtle changes that really enliven the place.

As you can see, this cafe is pretty spacious. Unlike a lot of internet cafes around the island, there’s plenty of space. There’s seating at the counter, couches, and at the tables. Like a good internet cafe, they have computers for your using pleasure, not that kinda of pleasure you sick, sick man, for a small fee of course. Now, if you already have a laptop, sweet, because if your a computer whore like me and can easily spend countless hours with your laptop, then you’ll appreciate all the power outlets they provide. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been to an internet cafe and been forced to leave only because my computer ran out of power. If your hungry they have a small selection of food and if you want something sweet they have a nice array of pastries and tarts to choose from, all which look very tempting. Also, the restrooms always looks clean and inviting, which is a nice bonus, as we all know coffee is a laxative. Every time I go into the restroom to do my thing, I regret not taking my fully charged laptop with me. I swear I can hear the toilet say, “come in old friend, my how I missed that sweet ass of yours. Come sit on my face.” And I respond, “don’t mind if I do.” I think a bidet would look quite nice in here. Anyhow, internet isn’t free. I know I mentioned many times that all business should give free internet but if your a noncorporate internet coffee shop, then I guess it’s okay. The fee is $3.00 per user but Ray, Shane and I like to all go in and pay for only one user and pass the access code around. There’s been days where we are the only ones in there and still we pay for only one user fee. I know they’re not stupid and have to know but they probably just don’t care or know that we are just loyal customers and would rather spend the money we save on food. Here’s what we bought.

This Bagel Sandwich, $4.95. Yes only $4.95. There’s not a lot of places that have food for under five bucks so even if you don’t have any desire to use a computer and you just want to to grab a quick bite that’s cool too.

This bagel sandwich comes with fresh romain lettuce, cheese, tomato, cucumber and a creamy pesto sauce. Everything works in conjunction really well. The creamy pesto gives it a nice gourmet touch while the cucumbers really balance out the strong natural flavors of the salami.

Next we have the New York Lox Bagel, $6.50. The last lox bagel I had was at Bogarts and apparently if I go back there one of the workers will jizz in my food. She’s a female so I’m assuming in order to do this she would have to squat over my food. Either way, no thanks, besides the one at Rainy Day Cafe is cheaper. Like all Lox Bagels it comes with cream cheese, slices of thinly sliced onions, tomato, smoked salmon and capers. Ray and I ordered this before and we’re ordering it again because it was just that good.

Did I mention that they have pastries. I notice that they pastry selection changes from time to time, which is good because that means we’re always going to get something fresh. On this day they had a huge array of baklava. I’m not Jewish, or Russian and maybe that’s why I’m not really crazy about baklava, but it just looked so pretty that I had to get one.

I got one and it came in this over sized container.

Side view of my baklava.

Top view of my baklava. It was a really small piece and cost my somewhere around a buck fifty. This one had pistachios and like all baklava’s, was soaked in honey. I’m glad I didn’t get two because one is usually all I can eat. I like sweet, but baklava’s are too sweet for my liking. Lets me on.

On a separate occasion I had cake. The chocolate cake was moist and spongy and the cream was the soft whipped kind. I’m sorry but I don’t remember how much this cost me, I’m guessing around $3.50, but I do know that it was worth every penny.

There you have it folks. This place is by far the best internet cafe on the island. Lets face it when it comes to internet cafes, it’s all about the ambiance. This place makes for a nice work space. It’s a little hidden right outside the mall which is probably why it’s not always ridiculously busy.

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Rainy Day Cafe
1601 Kapiolani Blvd # 150
Honolulu, HI 96814

(808) 945-9944