Kozo Sushi to me is equivalent to fast food but for sushi. Now I don’t mean that in a bad way. Sushi has never made me feel like a blubber butt after consuming it so fast food sushi can’t be that bad. If you’ve been on the island for some time you’ve probably seen a few Kozo’s around. Kozo Sushi’s are always hiring. A lot of times you’ll find a young buck back there rolling your sushi. Just like fast food, they’ll hire just about anyone, “experience not necessary.” I put that in quotes because I swear I read that on their sign once.

If your wondering why there’s no tables in this photo, it’s because there are none. I was standing in the corner trying to snap a photo of the whole place. See, what I mean by fast sushi, don’t plan on eating inside, Kozo is more of a take out kind of place. However, there are tables out front that paying customers from Star Bucks, Jamba Juice, and Kozo Sushi all share, first come first serve.

This is the Philly Maki, $3.99. As you can see, they were pretty skimpy with the cream cheese today, but no worries I stilled enjoyed this just as well.

The Spicy Ahi Maki, $5.25 is not so spicy but still just as tasty.

Ahh, the good o’ classic California Maki, $3.89, will never go out of style. I Prefer mine with as little mayo as possible.

What I don’t suggest is getting a Hand Roll from this place. Some retard came up with this wrap and it’s the most annoying thing. Basically the rice is separate from the wrapper so you have to unwrap it just to wrap it up again.

But at no more than a couple of bucks for one, sometimes I’ll just have to deal with it.

If your in the mood for fast, cheap, simple sushi Kozo sushi can’t be beat.

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Kozo Sushi
625 Kapahulu Ave
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 739-2785

You know, every so often when the moon is full, the stars are bright and all the planets are perfectly align I feel like being treated to a nice dinner. I had never heard of Tanaka of Tokyo before. Shane said it was like a Benihana’s in the sense that it’s totally table side service and all the food is prepared right there in front of you.

Luckily Ray was smart enough to make reservations. There was a small wait when we got there and then we were escorted to the inner cavity of the restaurant where I all the action went down. It was like we went straight to an underground gambling casino. The place was dark with not a lot of decor on the walls just a bunch of Asians sitting around a large round table, waiting to be dealt out some serious food. The chef puts on a show deals out the food and then, next round of food, deals it out and so on. There were lots of Asians, and commotion going on. Yeah, like I said, It definitely felt like we just stepped into a secret underground casino. How exciting is that.

Everyone is started off with a salad. I suggest you ask for the dressing on the side. No dressing is better than whatever it is that they are using. Even I, the salad whore, could not eat this, pat-tuey. I also ordered a tropical drink, to the right of my salad. It comes with the glass but no worries, a clean one is given to you at the end of the meal so you don’t have to take home a dirty one. Cheers!

This was our chef. Since this was table side service putting on a big show and making your guest laugh is key.

The food, the food, the food is on fire, we don’t give a fuck let the mother fucker burn, burn . . . Just having a little fun.

I don’t remembered exactly what we ordered but I can tell you it was two combination seafood deals at about $40.00-$50.00 each. So this is how it went down, were sat at a round table with strangers. You can make nice with them or ignore them, either way, your sitting with them. We threw everyone a smile and nodded to let them know we were friendly but for the most part we ignored them and they ignored us, this is probably due to the fact that we don’t speak Japanese and like all Japanese they pretend not to speak English. Waiter comes by to takes everyone’s order. Since I’m so use to sharing I was like, “we’ll order this now and if were still hungry we’ll get more later. ” “Uh, yeah, it’s not sushi honey, you have to order everything now,” Ray informs me. He was right, you have to order everything at once, the chef then is given the list and collects all his raw materials in the back, brings it to the table, then kindly introduces himself. When the chef returns everybody shuts the fuck up because we know at places like this it’s more about the show than it is about the food.

Everyone must of ordered the same damn thing because everything our master teppan-yaki chef prepared was dealt out to everyone. He better not be giving our food to everybody else, and if he is he better give us some of their food because sharing is caring bitches. I don’t care if you have a chef knife in your hand I will Shang-hi your ass.

At the end of the meal we were given a choice of green tea, vanilla or chocolate ice-cream to choose from. I got green tea and my honey got vanilla. The green tea was definitely better than the vanilla but my honey begged to differ, which was fine because I didn’t want to share any of it. Overall I am quite pleased with my experience here. The chef was skillful at presenting the food with great flair. Sometimes it’s wise to throw the cheap card out the door.

I forgot to mention that at the beginning of dinner a photographer comes over to the table and takes group photos of everyone. “What the fuck, I’m role playing here and I don’t want evidence of me up in a secret underground casino you dumb fuck, what do you think this is Disney Land? Fuck off,” I gave the photographer my best poker face and kindly took the photo anyway. At the end of dinner he comes back and distributes the freshly developed photos to each group. As he handed me our photo I did what any respected cheap ass would of done if they were in my shoes, I whipped out my camera with a quickness and with the skill of a nimble ninja took a photo of a photo. That’s right bitches, I still had my cheap card the whole time.

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Tanaka of Tokyo
131 Kaiulani Ave
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 922-4233

On this day we decided to head over to DMV to register to vote. This was a pretty stupid idea because as most of you probably already know a trip to the local DMV usually sucks donkey dick. Our visit to the DMV was no different. The lady that took our paper work was a dirty cunt bag. Since we hardly come to this side of town we decided to stay and eat up. The first place that caught our eye was this place called Noodle Me House of Ramen and Curry. At first glance one would think it’s a children’s store or maybe a google store because of its colorful sign but if you actually read the sign you’ll see it’s a noodle house.

With the exception of the table behind me this was the dining part of the restaurant.

The man that took our order was a one man army. He took our order cooked it and then served it. We started off with an order of Gyoza, 6 pieces for only $3.25. Basically they were upside down chicken pot stickers. We all really enjoyed these. These little dumplins were delivered to us hot off the grill.

We ordered the Spicy Seafood Combo Meal, $8.25. It came with this Noodle Sea Food Soup filled with fresh veggies, noodles, and seafood.

The combo also came with a heaping serving of rice. This was the way fried rice should be. It wasn’t too salty or mushy and every bit was bursting with flavor.

Hold on folks there’s more, our combo also came with more of our favorite dumplings. Can’t get enough of these. Holy shit, all this food for only $8.25. What a steal.

Shane ordered the Shoyu Yakisoba Noodles, $5.95. It was a mixture of pork, vegetables and noodles all stir fried together.  He goes, “I could seriously eat this everyday.”

This is definitely one of our new favorite finds. Our bill came out to $18.27. All that food for under $20.00. We all laughed because we kinda felt bad about it and left the one man army a mighty fine tip.

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Noodle Me House of Ramen and Curry
Ste 14
1210 Dillingham Blvd
Honolulu, HI 96817

Get Directions(808) 845-8886