Bogart’s is one of my favorite places to have breakfast. It’s one of those places where no matter what you order you can’t go wrong. The last two times I’ve gone I’ve ordered the Lox Bagel. Now, I know I’m all about trying new things, unless it’s just that freaking good and that it is.

The Lox Bagel cost me $7.75 and is a bagel with cream cheese, capers, onions and tomato topped with smoked salmon. I think everyone should experience one in their lifetime. I like to have it for breakfast but I think this could swing for any meal.

My advice however is to go to Bogart’s for breakfast. I was there the other day for lunch and service was horrible. Ray came to the table after ordering our food and said, “I don’t think pregnant people should be aloud to work.” Our food was delivered to us in a plastic bag and practically thrown at us. The girl was pregnant so maybe her hormones were all out of wack but I still don’t think that should allow her a, “I get to be a biatch” card. Like I said, go for breakfast; service is good in the morning and sucks during the day.

Directions to Bogarts

Word on the street is that Genki Sushi in Japan is the equivalent to a McDonalds in America. It’s fast food that’s cheap. If you ask me, anything is better than McDonalds, but lets compare for shits and grits. Genki Sushi will kick that clown in the ass when it comes to speed. There’s really no way to be any faster. As soon as you sit that sweet ass of yours down you can start making it fatter, or phat-er (pretty hot and tempting) because sushi is floating ever so gracefully on a boat, or plate, just waiting for the opportunity for someone to turn it into a fob, aka, F.O.B. fresh off the boat. Hey, everyone loves a Fob, that’s why I’m so popular. If there’s something that you want and it’s not floating by, you can order it. That’s right, real live fobs walking around, ready to take orders in exchange for American citizenship. Also, the plates are color coordinated for all those retards out there. Gold plates are $1.40, green plates are $2.00, red plates are $2.60, etc. Hey, if your a cheap ass stay away from the silver and black plates, they’re $3.75 and $4.60.

Gold plate $1.40

Red plate $2.60

Red plate? That’s right, $2.60. Good job Mr. Retard.

Click below for directions.

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Genki Sushi
885 Kapahulu Ave.
Honolulu, HI
(808) 735-7700

If you haven’t tried a Malasada yet you haven’t experienced Hawaii. Actually, that’s a lie. Word on the street is that malasadas are actually a Portuguese tradition. If you like crispy cream donuts you’ll love malasadas. It’s like a donut, but it’s not missing the hole, so I didn’t feel cheated since the center was there. Also it’s made when you order them so you always get them hot out of the fryer and rolled in granulated sugar. They can be order filled with cream. My favorite is the haupia cream, which is a coconut flavored cream and is heaven in your mouth.

Malasadas run about .80 cents for one. They are large so I think one ought to be plenty. If you get two you’ll feel like a fat lard afterwards and if you get three, you probably are a fat lard.

Now as for the service, well I was told not to say anything mean about this place otherwise I’d probably have hit out on me by the Hawaiian mafia, since the place is well known around town and by the locals. However, this is my blog and I’m just keeping it real so if I happen to stop writing, I want to thank all my fans and stockers for all your support.

Have you ever noticed how donut shops never have donuts covered in powdered sugar. I never understood this. There’s glazed donuts, sprinkled donuts, granulated sugar donuts, etc. But never ever powdered sugar donuts. A hot hupia cream filled malasada covered in powdered sugar sounded heavenly to me so I did what I always do when I want something, ask for it.

“Can I please have a haupia cream filled malasada, but rolled in powdered sugar instead,” I said.

Grandma goes,”We don’t have powdered sugar,”

“That’s not powdered sugar on top of that eclair right there?,” I said.

Grandma goes, “They’re for the eclair.”

First off, grandma’s a lier, and she wasn’t too slick about it. Second of all, is it really that hard to sprinkle some freaking powdered sugar on a donut ball and make a young girl’s sugar dreams come true? I think not.

Whatever, it was still heavenly, just without God. For the website and directions click below.

Leonards Malasadas Website and Directions to Leonards