That’s a pretty ballsy name for a taco shop. I remember being referred to this place awhile back and every time we drive by we’re on our way home and say, “oh well, next time we’ll just have to see.” Well, next time finally came and it was time to see if killer taco was to die for.

From the outside the place looks like a dine in restaurant. Being waited on sounds just about right after a long day at the beach.

Ah, dang-it! We were fooled by those dark tinted windows. You mean I have to go up to the counter and order there. Oh, alright, but no tip for you.

Ray ordered a burrito, as usual. I don’t know, the man likes his burritos. I guess you can’t say anything since he’s Mexican. But for once I dare you to order a taco man, no not the pink taco, the Mexican cooked kind you dirty bastard. Ah, forget it. Get a bloody burrito.

He got the Long Board Burrito, $5.49. It came with rice, refried or black beans, choice of meat, cheese, salsa, sour cream and guacamole. As you can see the burrito was a bloody mess. The making of the burrito was poor. I can’t say that this was Ray’s worst burrito, since he’s had so many, the odds are in their favor. But I can say it was a bitch to hear him wine about it throughout lunch. “It’s so soggy. This shit is mushy, My burrito is falling apart. This taste like shit.” Oh, my God, dude, did your dick just start bleeding. Maybe you should stick a Q-tip up that thing and just shut the fuck up so I can eat my food in peace.

I ordered two chicken tacos, one crispy and one soft. They came with the usual, cheese, lettuce, salsa and choice of meat; I chose chicken. The hard taco was $2.19 and the soft was $2.29.

Uh, did someone forget the chicken? Seriously, what am I paying for, a taco shell and scraps of rabbit food.

My soft taco was served and wrapped up in aluminum tin foil. I’m gonna just go ahead and say this was a bit irritating. It probably wouldn’t have annoyed me as much if I didn’t hate my crispy taco, or if Ray had not been at my side bitching about his meal the whole time. So when it came time to eat my soft taco, I think I had already prejudged it.

But it doesn’t change the fact that this taco really was a piece of shit. This is a really sad soft taco. It was a soggy, mushy mess. I ate my flaccid taco and Ray and I quickly headed out.

Maybe we just got them on a bad day, who knows. But with so many great restaurants near by, I don’t think they’ll be seeing me for a while. Click below for directions
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Killer Tacos
66-560 Kamehameha Hwy
Haleiwa, HI 96712

Get Directions(808) 637-4573

One day Ray saw three Mexican’s wearing cowboy boots, hat and a pancho walk into Jose’s. The first thing that came to his mind was, “if the real Mexican’s are going there for lunch, the food must be authentic.” So the next time we were in the mood for Mexican the first thing that came to mind was Jose’s Mexican Restaurant, you know, the place where the real Mexicans go.

The chips and salsa here were free and yummy.

For starters we had three beef taquitos, $9.95. Why do taquitos always come in threes? It doesn’t seem like a practical amount to me. Anyhow, I really enjoyed my one and a half rolled taco. As you can see it really had some girth to it, which means to me more meat inside. It also came with sour cream and quacamole.

We decided to share the Chicken Fijitas, $15.95. It came with rice, beans, sour cream and totillas. Even though it wasn’t served on a sizzling skillet, I thought the fijitas had great flavor. The onions and peppers were sautted nicely and the chicken had a little kick to it from all the pepper.

By the end of our meal, we were stuffed like little pinatas. The chicken fijitas alone would of been plenty, but the taquitos were so good. I also hear they have great lunch specials to choose from, so bring the whole office gang and don’t forget to tip.

For directions click below
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Jose’s Mexican Restaurant
1134 Koko Head Ave
Honolulu, HI 96816

Get Directions(808) 732-1833

Bikini Cantina is located in the back of the Aloha Tower Plaza. I have admit this was my first visit to Aloha Tower. Before all I knew of this place was that hooters was located here. There was a point and time in my life when I thought hooters was cool, but now I know that I was a bit of a female chauvinistic pig, I mean I still am, but just not as much. But, seriously, their wings really aren’t that good. Anyhow, I didn’t see Hooters on this day but I did run into the Bikini Cantina.

All I have to say is that it’s misleading to have the word, “bikini” in the name of your business if  no one’s wearing a bikini. I don’t care what anyone says, it’s false advertisement.

The view’s not too shabby.

We ordered Far Out Fajitas, grilled chicken smothered in bell peppers, onion, tomatoes and served with warm tortillas for $15.95. As you can see they serve real fajitas here. And when I say real fajitas I mean served on a sizzling skillet, the way real fajitas should be served. After seeing the fajitas at Rosie’s Cantina I was a bit concerned with the caliber of fajitas on this island. Besides coming out on a sizzling skillet the fajitas were nicely done. The vegetables weren’t over done or under done, nothing was greasy and the chicken wasn’t too dry or didn’t taste pre-grilled and then slapped on a skillet like some places do it, and the portion wasn’t too skimpy.

Of course no fajitas would be complete without the proper condiments: salsa, sour cream, guacamole, beans, rice, tortillas, and corn? Uh, not that corn doesn’t go with fajitas, but I’m just not use to corn being served with fajitas. Whatever, I’m a fan. The corn here was from a can, but sometimes the can stuff is better and less work than the fresh stuff. Speaking or corn, every time I eat the stuff there’s always a bunch of it that manages to sneak pass the digestion process and ends up whole in my shit. I chew and chew and chew but in the end my shit still resembles a yellow poka dotted slug. I don’t get it. Back to fajitas, half way through my meal I realized that I wanted corn tortillas, $1.00. These corn tortillas were absolutely the worst corn tortillas I have every had in my life. They were super thin and tasted like a 60% paper, 20% napkin, and 20% tortilla. If they’re homemade then someone needs to tell them that grandmas recipe sucks donkey ass. They just need to cut the shit and buy some from the grocery store, plain and simple.
As for the service, it was slow and a bit dull.  We sat outside for about 8 minutes before we were acknowledge.  Also, they are open from 11:30 a.m. to 2:00 a.m.  So if you got some late night munchies, there’s no better place than here.

Check out the free entertainment on the way out.   I can’t believe they don’t charge for this action packed performance.

Asians in western wear will always be amusing to me.

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Bikini Cantina
1 Aloha Tower Dr # 255
Honolulu, HI 96813

Get Directions(808) 525-7288