I’m a sugar whore. I will never deny myself of her sweet, sweet love. Actually, if you ask me, sugar is a great substitute for love. In desperate need to get laid? Save yourself an STD and bake yourself a cake instead sweetheart. Go ahead, get kinky, no ones watching. Bust out the whip cream, cherries and nuts. Oh you wild animal you. Alright you sick bastard, that’s enough, back to business. Ted’s Bakery is in North Shore and it’s a winner in my book. I came here after lunch specifically for a slice of cake and that is exactly what I got.

I ordered a haupia cream cake and it was amazing. The cake was moist, and the cream wasn’t too sweet. It was a special kind of goodness in my mouth. A hefty slice cost me around $2.75. Since it was a typical gorgeous day here on the island of Oahu, I chose to enjoy my cake outside. Whoever said, “you can’t have your cake and eat it too,” was stupid.

Ted’s Bakery might specialize in cake, but they also have a full menu as well. I didn’t get to try any of it so I can’t give you my two cents. But I did take a menu home and when It comes to cheap, this place passes right through. Breakfast sandwiches were $3.15 - $4.25. Breakfast plates ranged from $4.50 - $6.50. Hot sandwiches were between $3.50 - $6.25 and plate lunches were $6.35 - $8.75. I’m definitely a fan.

Like I said I ‘m a fan, so it should come to no surprise that I made another trip to Ted’s Bakery.

There’s some nice seating right outside but it was a little wet today so I decided to take my dessert to go and ate it in my car.

Now as soon as I laid my eyes upon it I knew it was destiny.

It’s called Pineapple macadamia nut cheesecake, $3.41, but I would of named it something else, since the base of the cake is carrot cake.

But who gives a shit what it’s called it was magnificent. Carrot cake, cheesecake, pineapple and macadamia nut, what a great orgy of a dessert. The cake was moist, the cheese was creamy and the thin layer of pineapple on top was sweet, however I didn’t see or really taste much of any macadamia nuts.

I have to say the amount they give is perfect, not too much and not too little. Here take a closer look.

Stop licking your monitor, that’s dicussting. There’s directions down below, go get your own.

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Ted’s Bakery
59-024 Kamehameha Hwy
Haleiwa, HI 96712

Get Directions(808) 638-8207

This is my new favorite place to go to in North Shore. It’s called the Grass Skirt. The only thing that they need improvement on is the service, but other than that everything is spectacular. I love the ambiance, decor, location and, most importantly, the food.

The Grass Skirt is a petite yet inviting place. The walls are polished with a chic, stylish, Hawaiian attitude. The menu is printed on a surf board and hung from the ceiling. We ordered, paid, then grabbed a table and waited. There’s a few tables inside, chairs next to a counter and more tables set up outside as well.

I ordered the BBQ Pulled Pork. I ordered this plate the last time I was here and I don’t usually order the same thing twice, but Oh My God. I do make exceptions when the food was really, really cheap or really really good. In this case the food was really, really a gift from the Heavens above. The BBQ Pulled Pork is roasted and shredded mixed with a sweet and spicy BBQ sauce. It was $8.95. They were generous with their portions so $8.95 is totally worth it. I ended up taking half of this home.

This is the Grilled Ahi. It’s an 8 oz Ahi fillet grilled and topped with basil and lemon butter for $10.95. Not only do they give heaping portions, but you gotta admit the presentation is flawless, especially for being served on a paper plate. Ray has a healthy appetite and he was only able to eat 2/3 of his plate. We left the rest because he’s not a fan of left overs and I’m not a fan of left over seafood.

Shane couldn’t decide so he got two things. This Hot Dog was 1/4 lbs and cost $2.95. They split the weinner in half, grilled it and squeezed ketchep and mustard in the middle. I’ve never seen it serve this way and thought it was kinda different and cool. I asked him if it was better than Costco’s Hot Dog. The look on his face said, “by far.” Sorry Costco but there’s a new dog in town.

In addition to his hot dog Shane also got a Pulled Pork Sandwich. It was served with lettuce, tomato and onions for $6.95. Shane ate everything and we left totally blissed out of our minds. What a great find.

My only complaint was that there was no dessert on the menu.

Since this last post Grass Skirt Grill has become one of my favorite spots to visit. My little sister came over on vacation a couple weeks ago and of course I had to take her here.

Here she is, doesn’t she look excited to eat!

My sister, Selena, is one of those extremely picky and healthy eaters. It’s almost to the point where going out to eat could be a bit of a nuisance because she always orders everything on the side, and substitutes this for that and did I mention she makes her own lemonade at the table, not because she’s cheap, but because she prefers the fake sugar at the table and not the real stuff. Anyway, we decided to share the Grilled Fish Salad, $12.95. Selena orders the dressing on the side just in case she doesn’t like it. When she goes to the counter to pick up our salad it was covered in papaya dressing. Selena goes, “oh, I ordered the dressing on the side.” And the stupid bitch behind the counter goes, “oh, well, there’s not much of it, you’ll be alright.” Selena comes back to the table upset and disappointed.

Now does this look like a little dressing to anyone? There’s a pool of it gathering at the bottom of our plate. Now, it really didn’t bother me, since I know I like the dressing, and it turns out Selena did too, but had it been me that picked up the salad and that bitch would of said that to me I would of said, “well, I’m allergic to papaya dressing so I won’t be o.k. Will you guys be o.k. with a lawsuit on your hands?” Point is, it’s not cool to be talked down to, especially when your a loyal customer. Wow, this place really sucks bad when it comes to customer service. All I know is that next time I make it out this far to get some food, it wont be at the Grass Skirt Grill. But just to be completely honest, the salad was really good.

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Grass Skirt Grill
66-214 Kamehameha Hwy
Haleiwa, HI 96712

Get Directions(808) 637-4852

To the untrained eye this looks like an average market, similar to that of a convenience store, but inspect a little longer and you will see that what lies before you is a very special place indeed. I know there’s a BBQ pit out front and a huge sign that reads “Beach Burgers here today!” that gives away that you can order food here but of all the times I’ve been here that’s the first time I’ve ever seen it. I’m not big on burgers and it’s not the reason why I’ve come. It’s not that I don’t like them, I’m sure their burgers are lovely but their secret deli is my reason for being here. The deli can easily be missed and it would be a shame if you did so let me help you. When you walk in don’t make any sudden turns just keep heading straight to the back. There you will find a small but quaint deli.

They have cold items to choose from through a glass window or you can order a fresh cold or hot sandwich with the man or woman at the counter. Their sandwiches average about $6.00 and they are delish. I shared a Reuben and a small pasta salad with my friend Sara.

Here’s my half of the sandwich

This is their pasta salad. I don’t recommend it. I know it looks like soup right? We did eat most of it, but that’s a little ridiculous. It cost $4.00 for a small, and that it was. They didn’t give very much at all and it wasn’t very good. Which goes to show you, stick to sandwiches at a deli. Ray got a chicken club. He was very happy with it.

Kalapawai Market is a great place before or after any beach excursion. It’s right around the corner from Lanikai Beach, which is voted one of the best beaches in the world. Actually, instead of wasting time packing a lunch, make a stop here and have a picnic at the beach. That’s what Ray and I did in April when we were on vacation here from California. We had a romantic picnic on the beach right before he proposed to me. It’s one of my fondest memories. Shitty pasta or not, I have nothing but love for this place.

If your hungry and you don’t want to walk to the beach, there’s benches to the side of the market with shade.

And if your a wine-o, you will be pleased to find a nice selection of wine at this market. They have wine openers if you want to spend some extra money on a crappy one that you’ll probably never use again or you can just buy a twist off. Hey, don’t be so judgemental, there’s some really good twisties out there. My favorite is, “Bitch.” Yes, I said Bitch and I’m not talking about your mother. It was suggest to me by the owner one day and I’m so glad that he did because I was really pleased with it. Don’t forget to buy some cheap plastic red cups if your gonna bring it to the beach.

Directions to Kalapawai Market