Being at the Chart House made me feel as though I were in an old folks community in Florida. I’ve been to Florida once, it was actually the first state I stepped my little foot on. The family that adopted my family over from China are from Florida. I don’t remember the state much but it’s rummer that all old people go there to get away from us youngins. Life starts after 80 and it starts in Florida because it’s a geriatric haven there and here at the Chart House.

See what I mean, nothing but old people, everywhere, and not just old people, but rich old people. They sat us in the cocktail area, right next to a table of four, crazy old ladies day out. Watch out girls gone wild because these ladies were drinking and they were looking for a good time. But it was really uncomfortable because we were trapped in a corner table. The back of my chair was pinned up against another lady’s chair and every time I felt the urge to relax and lean back I hesitated because my back would rub up against hers.

Every time I go to a seafood place by the pier I can’t help but the get the urge to order clam chowder. I feel like if I love the clam chowder, I will more than likely love what’s coming next and if the clam chowder sucks dick cheese then chances are it will taste like dick cheese. The clam chowder cost $4.95 and sucked donkey dick. Great, check please! I didn’t get to taste a clam until I got half way through my soup. I didn’t really care for the flavor much, the potatoes were super mushy, and it looked a bit green, like celery chowder.

For appetizer we got the Hot Sampler, $18.95. It consists of cried chicken wings, fried zucchini, oyster rockefeller and calamari.

They oysters here were delicious, but this sauce they put with it was nasty as hell. It was super heavy, creamy and didn’t mix well with anything in your stomach.

These were the fried calamari and I didn’t care for them much either. The lady next to us seemed to take a liking to these though.

My favorite of the samplers were the fried zucchinis. The were delicious and cut the perfect width to where you get a proper amount of meat in each bite and it was cooked just right, not too mushy or raw. The grated parmeseam cheese on top was a nice touch.

I don’t know why we chose to order more but we did and we really shouldn’t have. This here is the Salmon Linguine, $10.95. As if the fried sampler platter didn’t make us feel like fat bastards enough; this plate really put us over the top. As you can see they didn’t put much care into the presentation of this dish at all. The bottom side of my dish was just bare dry noodles.

I think they cut up the salmon because it gives off the allusion that your getting more salmon than you think. I didn’t mind this because it guaranteed bits of salmon in every bite. The sauce was super rich, creamy and buttery in an instant heart attack kind of way.

Not a bad view during sunset.

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Chart House
1765 Ala Moana Blvd # 2
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 941-6669

So Ray’s on the phone talking to our friend Amber and she’s like, “oh my God, if Doe were here she would die, our company bought us the most amazing cupcakes from Cake Couture Cupcakes.” And I’m like, “ohhh, can you guys save me one?” Anyhow, Ray and I are in the car driving around looking for a new place to dine when what do we drive right into, Cake Couture Cupcakes. It was fate, destiny, what-ever you want to call it. Some things are just meant to be and these cupcakes were made to be consumed by me and me alone. The place is pretty hidden inside Aina Haina Shopping Center Courtyard in Hawaii-Kai. The shopping center itself looks a bit outdated but Cake Couture Cupcakes was like finding a small gem in a bowl of rocks. Once you laid eyes on it it sparkles and shines and just draws you in. You can see from the picture and right through the window that the place is tiny.

As soon as I laid I eye upon these I knew she was the one. These were Eggnog flavor and cost $2.50 each.

I know, don’t they look so pretty? I almost didn’t want to eat it. I have to say, the first bite was orgasmic. The second bite was amazing. There was no doubt the frosting was eggnog. The cake itself was not eggnog and tasted yummy like most cupcakes do but it was definitely the frosting that makes the cake. By the time I got 2/3 through my eggnog delight I realize that one cupcake was all I could handle. The frosting didn’t taste too sweet at first but by the end it was really sweet and almost ruined my appetite for dinner.

I love cupcakes because they’re like having a little cake without having a whole cake. These are definitely worth a try. I know it’s the New Year and everyone’s trying to loose all that blubber they’ve accumulated in 2007 but I say fuck it. It’s o.k to be a hedonist every once in a while and the best time is at the beginning of the year so you have the rest of the year to focus on those goals. By the way, hope everyone had nothing but good times during the holidays and I wish you a very prosperous up coming year filled with full bellies and big smiles.

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Cake Couture Cupcakes
820 West Hind Drive. #112
Honolulu, HI 96821

Located right outside of Waikiki is a local diner, with real local prices. This is the type of place that I hoped to be writing about when I first started this blog. Not diners, but just cheap places. After all, my blog is called, “cheap places to eat in Oahu Hawaii” I would hope that I could live up to the name at least sometimes. The truth of the matter is, there’s just not that many super duper cheap places to eat out here. And to make matters worst, the grocery stores are more expensive than dining out at times. Well, Rainbow Diner is exactly what I would expect from a diner, not good, cheap, and yes, very affordable.

There’s seating outside, under a shaded cover. I got in line and scanned the menu for something that would satisfy my morning breakfast appetite. Holly shit, are they for real, Loco Moco - $3.25, Toss Salad - $2.00, Hamburger - $1.55, BBQ Burger - $1.70,
Pancakes - $3.75. The list went on and on. I don’t think I saw anything over 7.00 and only a few items over $6.00. Blood rushed through my veins, my sweat pores started to dampen and,” I desperately wanted to make love to a schoolboy,” well not really, just thought I’d throw a quote from Dumb and Dumber but ya’ll get the point.

I got the Breakfast Special, two eggs cooked the way you like, choice of meat, with rice or white or wheat toast for $4.50. I picked the mahi mahi. Now, when I say it’s not good, maybe I’m over exaggerating, it was decent and then it got bad. Perhaps I picked the wrong thing to eat. Who has fish for breakfast, right? Everything was fried in heavy oil so after I was done eating I felt like my insides were heavily coated with lard. Who knows, maybe it’ll help speed up the digestion process.

Here’s a picture of the fish over eggs.

French Toast, $4.25. Again, this was decent. Ray said it was kinda like grilled bread with powdered sugar. Nonetheless, he ate it and it served it’s purpose by filling the empty hole in his belly.

Rainbow Diner is a very basic as can be diner. The whole time I was here I only saw local people. I want to say that I’ll never be back, but something about this place, the diner, locals, low prices and basic food reels me back in. Sometimes basic food is all I need and does the job. I said before, I rarely go to the same place twice unless it was just that good or just that cheap. Cheap humbles me. I’ll give this place one more chance before I check them off, but it won’t be for a while

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Rainbow Drive-Inn
3308 Kanaina Ave.
Honolulu HI 96815
(808) 96815