Burgers have never been my thing. I know some people that swear by them. I don’t get it. I personally prefer garden burgers to the real thing. I guess that’s why it took me so long to eat at Kua ‘Aina.

Not very busy today. As you can see all their tables are fully equipped with all the proper tools. More businesses should copy this. I like having everything I need within arms reach, that way I can focus on eating and not on getting up to get what I need or asking and waiting for it.

Along with the abundant amount of seating inside, there’s also ample amount outside.

I feel like chicken today so that’s what I ordered, a grilled chicken burger, $6.90. It came with lettuce, two slices of tomato and a carrot stick. I like it when places give you veggies to munch on, carrot, celery, pickle, whatever I’ll eat it. The sandwich was tasty. No wow factor, but still nice and filling.

Of course carrots aren’t enough to complete my meal so I ordered a side of fries to go with it, $1.95. They were similar to what some might call shoe string fries, the thin, whimpy, flaccid ones. I don’t like this kind. I like my fries the way I like dick, meaty, and not flaccid.

I also ordered a small green salad, $3.40. I was impressed and quite happy with my salad. For $3.40 they certainly filled it up quite nicely with lots of variety and color, just the way I like it.

Also another bonus about this place is that you can B.Y.O.B.  Awesome!

Alright so you want to eat here? If you already have, tell me what you think. If you haven’t click below for directions.
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Kua ‘Aina
1200 Ala Moana Blvd # 665
Honolulu, HI 96814

Get Directions(808) 591-9133

That’s a pretty ballsy name for a taco shop. I remember being referred to this place awhile back and every time we drive by we’re on our way home and say, “oh well, next time we’ll just have to see.” Well, next time finally came and it was time to see if killer taco was to die for.

From the outside the place looks like a dine in restaurant. Being waited on sounds just about right after a long day at the beach.

Ah, dang-it! We were fooled by those dark tinted windows. You mean I have to go up to the counter and order there. Oh, alright, but no tip for you.

Ray ordered a burrito, as usual. I don’t know, the man likes his burritos. I guess you can’t say anything since he’s Mexican. But for once I dare you to order a taco man, no not the pink taco, the Mexican cooked kind you dirty bastard. Ah, forget it. Get a bloody burrito.

He got the Long Board Burrito, $5.49. It came with rice, refried or black beans, choice of meat, cheese, salsa, sour cream and guacamole. As you can see the burrito was a bloody mess. The making of the burrito was poor. I can’t say that this was Ray’s worst burrito, since he’s had so many, the odds are in their favor. But I can say it was a bitch to hear him wine about it throughout lunch. “It’s so soggy. This shit is mushy, My burrito is falling apart. This taste like shit.” Oh, my God, dude, did your dick just start bleeding. Maybe you should stick a Q-tip up that thing and just shut the fuck up so I can eat my food in peace.

I ordered two chicken tacos, one crispy and one soft. They came with the usual, cheese, lettuce, salsa and choice of meat; I chose chicken. The hard taco was $2.19 and the soft was $2.29.

Uh, did someone forget the chicken? Seriously, what am I paying for, a taco shell and scraps of rabbit food.

My soft taco was served and wrapped up in aluminum tin foil. I’m gonna just go ahead and say this was a bit irritating. It probably wouldn’t have annoyed me as much if I didn’t hate my crispy taco, or if Ray had not been at my side bitching about his meal the whole time. So when it came time to eat my soft taco, I think I had already prejudged it.

But it doesn’t change the fact that this taco really was a piece of shit. This is a really sad soft taco. It was a soggy, mushy mess. I ate my flaccid taco and Ray and I quickly headed out.

Maybe we just got them on a bad day, who knows. But with so many great restaurants near by, I don’t think they’ll be seeing me for a while. Click below for directions
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Killer Tacos
66-560 Kamehameha Hwy
Haleiwa, HI 96712

Get Directions(808) 637-4573

Hey guys, just so you know there wasn’t a hit put out on me from some angry restaurant owner that I gave a bad review.  No, I’ve just been really busy, but I’ve got some extra time in my schedule so there should be some new post up soon.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve driven past this place thinking it was one of the cutest little restaurant in Chinatown. I don’t know if you guys have ever been to Chinatown or not, but it seems as though any Chinatown you go to, doesn’t matter what city or state, but they’re always super crowded and filthy. So when there’s a cute restaurant that looks inviting it tends to stand out a bit and that’s exactly the place that Little Village is. I’m a bit annoyed that I forgot to take a photo of the outside but here’s the view from outside the restroom.

I came here after work and it was a pretty shitty day at the office so I decided to splurge on a couple of dishes to make up for it. I ordered with the Spicy Garlic Shrimp, $13.95. There definitely was a lot of garlic to this dish, but as a whole it really didn’t do it for me. It wasn’t bad by any means, and I think the ambiance made me think I enjoyed the dish more than I really did. The texture of the sauce tasted and reminded me of the Thai sweet spicy sauce. I have to say, it was just boring in flavor.

I also ordered half a Peking Duck, $17.00. It came with small white buns to wrap around. If your a chicken and biscuit type of gal, or guy, and you like duck then you love these.

The waiter came and proceeded to insert pieces of the duck, and duck skin into all the buns. This was entirely too much work for him and required too much patience on my end, no thanks I’ll do it myself, thank you.

The crispy duck skin was served on top of fresh, crispy shrimp chips. I like laying the chips on the tongue until I feel it sizzle. A thing I use to do as a child and I like to keep the tradition alive. As for the duck skin, uhh, not a fan. My parents think I’m crazy for never eating duck skin, or the skin of any animal for that matter. I guess it’s unheard of for a Chinese to not eat duck skin. I mine as well not eat chicken feet, uh wait, I don’t. Sorry mom. Eating duck skin is no different from eating crispy chicken skin, if you like that then I promise you you’ll be happy with duck skin. It really adds more flavor to the whole duck and bun experience.

My favorite was the lettuce wraps, $7.95. This was probably one of the better lettuce wraps I’ve had. Definitely better than PF Changs and Brew Moon. My friend was like, “what is this again because I would totally order just this next time.” It wasn’t too salty, like PF Changs and had way more flavor than Brew Moon. I loved loved the chopped up black mushrooms and crunch from the water chestnuts.

Alright guys, there you go. Overall, I would definitely say this place was worth coming to. Stay away from the garlic shrimp and don’t leave without the lettuce wraps.

For directions click below,
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Little Village
1113 Smith St
Honolulu, HI 96817

Get Directions(808) 545-3008

I ordered Italian Sandwich, $6.95. It came with molinari Italian salami pepperoni, ham, provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, mayo and Italian dressing. They don’t have combo meals so I was forced to order everything ala cart. I got a bag of chips, $1.75 and a medium sprite for, $1. 50 to share with my honey.

The whole meal was fabulous. It was a really good sandwich in every way but size. I don’t recommend sharing this if your hungry. It was just enough to fill us up but leave us hungry for more in another hour. Which I guess isn’t so bad since it’s better to eat more meals at smaller portions throughout the day.

Another great thing I love about this place is that they are locally owned and work with local farmers. I support supporting local farmers.

Aloha Salads is right next door to Gourmet Express which also has really good food.

click below for directions

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Kahala Mall
4211 Waialae Avenue
Honolulu, HI 96816
808 735-8334
10:00 AM-9 PM Daily

If your down in Waikiki the International Food Court is probably one of your best bet for fast, affordable food. It’s tucked away between Kuhio and Kalakowa. The picture above is through the side entrance. One of the things I like about the International Food Court is the variety of food that’s offered. Say your in the mood for Chinese, and somebody else wants Korean, and then someone else just wants some ice cream, the International Food Court can make that happen. It’s a beautiful thing. Also, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m a fan of food photos that show you what you will be ordering. Most places here have photos of their food and you place your order by the number system. Photo #1 is order #1, photo #2 is order #2, you get my point. I wish more places would work this way. Pomai from The Tasty Island agrees with me and also mentioned the number system in a recently post on Bob’s.

Lots of outside seating to choose from

I’m a strong supporter of Vietnamese food so Saigon Express is where I tend to pick when I come here.

I got the Look Funn Steamed Pork, $7.00 and #23. My meal was served in a plastic bowl and it came with fish sauce to pour over or dip. I really enjoyed this dish and only wish they had given me more carrots and radishes, oh, and onions. I had to ask for the mint; the photo had it but my dish lacked it. My noodles, or look funn were soft and tasted perfect with the steamed pork. It was a very light dish that didn’t give me constipation, gas, bloating, diarehha, or make me feel like a glutton.

If the Look Fun wasn’t really your thing, then the Shrimp Pad Thai might be, $8.50 and #19 on the menu. This is what my friend Shane’s ordered. I tasted it and it was amazing, but when I looked at it I told him it looked like it had a lot of bean sprouts. He said it didn’t taste that way at all and it didn’t to me either.

Yes there’s another Greek place on the island and it’s located inside the International Market. I think it’s called the Greek Grill, but there’s not really a header above it’s place. This is usually Ray’s pick. He’s a fan of eating cute biblical animals like lamb on a soft warm pita bread.

God must of needed some lambs today because there seemed to be a shortage in Ray’s gyro. He gets this every time he comes here and we remember it being a lot more meaty.

And it was really creamy today. Sheesh, Not a lot of love today, but thankfully just as good as he remembered. And 10 minutes after eating, Ray breaks out into a sweat, another party gone wrong in his pants and he’s left in explosive asshole agony once again. I’m not saying this to deter you from coming here, my honey is just a bit sensitive to cream, or maybe God has a sense of humor after all.

For directions click below
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International Market Place
2330 Kalakaua Ave # 200
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 971-2080

The award for the best Indian Food on the island goes to Cafe Maharani. I’m pretty certain that by now I have been to all of the Indian restaurants here on the island and I can say with absolute certainty that Cafe Maharani is the best. I really didn’t want to like them at first. Every time I come here it’s pack and I usually have to wait. I hate waiting, it makes me bitter. There’s also an Indian Restaurant called India House just down the street, but they get no love from me because they suck major dingle berry ass. Anyhow, Cafe Maharanl is the best so lets celebrate by all going out to eat there, tonight, not on me because I’m a cheap ass. But if you happen to see me, go ahead and offer to buy me dinner, I won’t say no.

I like coming here because the inside is small but very vibrant.

I ordered a Mango Lassi for my beverage. It’s a yogurt drink. The first time I ever had one of these it was really weird for me to get use to drinking what tasted like a runny yogurt drink, but soon I got use to it and now I love them.

We started with some Nann. It was served to us with a pizza cutter. I believe this was the Kabli Nann, $5.99 and it serves up to 3 people so bring your hommies.

Or you can just order Plain Nann, $2.75.

There’s just way too much sauce in Indian food for you to not get rice.

I apologize but I don’t remember what any of this was called. All I can say is that is was all lamb, one fish and everything ran about $15.00. All of it was phenomenally delicious, that’s why I’m going back there for dinner tonight.

For directions click below
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Cafe Maharani
2509 S King St
Honolulu, HI 96826

Get Directions(808) 951-7447

The first Brew Moon I’ve been to was the one located on the second floor of Local Motion in Waikiki. I don’t know if any of you have been there as of late but Local Motion is out of business. I think its a shame because Local Motion is like a land mark. I remember seeing it on television on the Real World and thinking what a cool ass store. Anyhow, there’s another Brew Moon in Hawaii located on the second floor in The Ward Center. I met up with a few friends for happy hour.

The last time I had some lettuce cups was at Chilis and they sucked dingle berry ass. But that was a long time ago so I decided to give it another shot. The presentation was a little sloppy and the food was salty. I’m pretty sure it was ground up chicken that was used. When I think of lettuce cups I think of Asian flavors, this tasted like want to be but just aint happening Asian flavors. The dish cost me $8.95.

But, everything did taste and look fresh

For directions click below
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Brew Moon
1200 Ala Moana Blvd # 380
Honolulu, HI 96814

Get Directions(808) 593-0088

This is an overdue post, but that’s what’s on my agenda today, writing post that are long overdue. Today’s post is on Star Bucks. I don’t go to Star Bucks too often, but when I do it’s usually for a sweet treat.

I ordered the Rock Slide Brownie, $2.50. Looks delicious right, that’s because it was. I loved ever bite.

I also got my hands on a piece of the Mint Brownie, $2.25. It reminded me of Andies Mints and tasted very much like it too. I love Andes Mints so I was very pleased with it.

Also, if you guys are every in Barns and Noble, they not only serve Star bucks coffee there, but you can also get a sweet treat from the Cheesecake Factory.

You know you want one.

For directions to Barns and Noble click below
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Barns and Noble
4211 Waialae Ave
Honolulu, HI 96816

Get Directions(808) 737-3323

Ray and I were doing one of our drive around the island till we find some place to eat drives. We drove and drove till we ran out of patience and stopped at the nearest plaza. We spotted Taste of Hong Kong and said winner winner chicken dinner. Lets eat.

It was nice and spacious inside.

Ray and I shared, as usual and boy am I glad we did. Look at how much food they give on their lunch special. The Plate Lunch Special was only $6.75 and came with Chicken chow mein, sweet and sour spare ribs, pot roast pork, 2 fried won ton and steamed rice. You could sub fried rice for an extra .75, which is what we did.

The won tons weren’t fresh, and the pot roast was a little fatty but for what we pay for, I was pretty content. We even had left overs, but I’m sure like everyone else, forgot them when we left.

This lunch special will definitely fill you up if you like to eat a lot.

Click below for directions
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Taste of Hong Kong
91-1401 Fort Weaver Rd
Ewa Beach, HI 96706

Get Directions(808) 683-3838

One day Ray saw three Mexican’s wearing cowboy boots, hat and a pancho walk into Jose’s. The first thing that came to his mind was, “if the real Mexican’s are going there for lunch, the food must be authentic.” So the next time we were in the mood for Mexican the first thing that came to mind was Jose’s Mexican Restaurant, you know, the place where the real Mexicans go.

The chips and salsa here were free and yummy.

For starters we had three beef taquitos, $9.95. Why do taquitos always come in threes? It doesn’t seem like a practical amount to me. Anyhow, I really enjoyed my one and a half rolled taco. As you can see it really had some girth to it, which means to me more meat inside. It also came with sour cream and quacamole.

We decided to share the Chicken Fijitas, $15.95. It came with rice, beans, sour cream and totillas. Even though it wasn’t served on a sizzling skillet, I thought the fijitas had great flavor. The onions and peppers were sautted nicely and the chicken had a little kick to it from all the pepper.

By the end of our meal, we were stuffed like little pinatas. The chicken fijitas alone would of been plenty, but the taquitos were so good. I also hear they have great lunch specials to choose from, so bring the whole office gang and don’t forget to tip.

For directions click below
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Jose’s Mexican Restaurant
1134 Koko Head Ave
Honolulu, HI 96816

Get Directions(808) 732-1833

Salad Creations reminds me of Subway because the whole process is like one big accembly line to the creation of your meal. You go in, pick your lettuce, choose what you want to throw in, add meat for a fee, pick a dressing, have them toss it all for you, pay and eat.

Today I decided to be a vegetarian and had the Chopped Veggie, $5.99. The menu said it came with romaine and iceberg lettuce, green bell peppers, red onions, mushrooms, artichoke hearts, corn, chickpeas, tomatoes, carrots, and croutons. As you can see, the salad came in ginormous steel bowl. I really enjoy eating out of a bowl, so I like this idea. However, as for the salad, it was pretty fucking boring. I think they try to give off the impression of being very genorous with the portions by giving a ton of lettuce and not much of anything else. I had to dig and push all the green stuff to the side just to get a bite of anything else, Also, I couldn’t find corn, mushrooms, or artichoke hearts anywhere in my salad. How do you forget three different items? The girl must of been new, or retarded.

If there had been less green stuff I think my salad could of been really enjoyable.

If having your salad tossed is really not your thing, no worries, to each his own. Just order a wrap. This is the Santa Fe Chicken Wrap, $7.99. It consisted of grilled chicken, cheddar cheese, tomatoes, red onions, and green bell peppers, romaine lettuce, hot sauce, croutons, and creamy ranch dressing. For a little bit extra you could make it a meal and have chips and a drink. I have no complaints with this one. I liked the size of the wrap and everything tasted fresh.

Overall I think I’m a fan. If you don’t mind a lot of lettuce then you’ll love this place. You get enough to share for around 8 bucks and they have dressings galore to choose from.

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Salad Creations 425 South Street, #104 Honolulu, HI 96813 (808) 349-3333

Once Ray asked me, “honey, what’s your favorite food.” I paused and thought about it, then said, “ice-cream.” He goes, “that’s not food.” I go, “sure it is, you eat it, shit it out, it’s food.” Ice-cream is my favorite food and Haagen - Dazs is my favorite brand of ice-cream. You can really taste the richness and quality over other brands. I don’t usually go to Haagen-Daz stores because like most creameries, it’s a rip off. However, today I had a wild hair up my ass, and yes I’m sure it was a wild hair and nothing else, but I was willing to pay a lot more for a lot less.

Sounds good, I’ll take one of those, spank you very much.

The Big Island Dazzler, $7.20, yikes. The photo makes it look like it’ll be overloaded with sugary goodness.

But as you can see the good stuff stops 2/3 into it and the rest is filled with whipped cream.

I don’t remember getting any mac nuts, or pineapple but it was still divine.  However, for $7.20 I don’t feel as though I got much. Next time I’m plucking that wild hair straight outta there and taking my happy ass to the grocery store where one pint will cost me somewhere around $5.00.

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Haagen-Dazs
2494 Kalakaua Ave # 7
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 922-3221

Located along the strip of Ala Moana Bombay is probably the first Indian restaurant that tourist encounter. When I first moved here I was thrilled to see an Indian restaurant so close to my home. However, after scanning their menu and checking out the prices I quickly turned around and headed straight out the door. A year later after becoming slightly numb with the bull shit prices around here I decided to give Bombay another shot.

The restaurant is nicely lit with dim lighting. To me this is probably the larger and nicer of the Indian restaurants on the island.

This is Gulab Jamun, $4.95. I saw it on the menu and quickly recognized it as one of my all time favorite Indian treats, grated carrot dessert flavored with rosewater and cardamom and enriched with pistachios and raisins. The thing with Indian desserts is that I could seriously eat all of it in one bite, no joke. It’s always very disappointing, which is exactly how I would describe this dessert. It was very greasy. If I pressed down on it with my spoon long enough, oil would ooze to the top. Along with that it was just overall boring and bland.

We ordered Garlic Nan to go along with our meal, $3.50.

Ray and I shared the Lamb Rogan Josh, $15.95. The menu says it’s tender peeces of boneless fresh lamb cooked in a yogurt based creamy curry sauce, enriched with a select blend of spices, chef’s special. My picture makes the meal look larger than it really was. The scoop of rice was puny, not even enough for one. The lamb was delicious, but for sixteen bucks I didn’t get much of it, just a lot of sauce in a bowl. It seemed more like soup than a dish, and even came with a spoon.

For our dessert I ordered the rice pudding, $3.95. Don’t let my amazing photo skills fool you, the pudding is way smaller than it appears in real life. This was just a close up shot. All of it could of easily fit on a medium size ladle. Like I said before, for some reason Indian dessert is always freaking tiny. Me, being a dessert whore, is a little bitter about this.

Bombay is definitely a place that doesn’t like to give you your money’s worth. The food is forgettable, service was pretty boring and portions are small.

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Bombay Indian Restaurant
1778 Ala Moana Blvd
Honlulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 942-3990

Drum roll please. The winner for the Soup Nazi Award goes to . . . . . . . . . . . . The Green Door Cafe. The first time I got to experience her service was last year when her business was located in China Town. After the Chinese New Year parade we walked into the Green Door, because every other business around was jam packed. She was standing outside, not ready to greet us but ready to send us away, “are you guys sure you want to eat here? You didn’t see all the food stands out there?” We tell her we’re sure so she reluctantly seats us. When we finally decide what we want to eat, I politely say, “o.k. were ready to order,” as she walks by. She walks right past me like she didn’t even hear me. I’m thinking, maybe she didn’t hear me. Her tiny restaurantz is packed. At the time there were maybe 6 tables; it was a small place. I look around and realize that every table, but one or two, is in need of something, ready to order, water, napkins, wanting to pay, etc. and she is at the door in what looks like pajama pants, nonchalantly talking to someone at the door. When she’s done conversing she walks past me again, by this time we’re totally ready to order so I say a bit louder this time, “we’re ready to order.” She looks at me, and keeps on walking. Ray and Shane just laugh at me. Wow, she really was just ignoring me. So, when we finally get around to ordering, she tells us, “no, that’s not what you want, I’ll give you the fish instead.” Doesn’t ask, but tells us we don’t want what we just ordered and we’re getting the fish instead. Okay, I guess we’re getting the fish. This lady is my hero. I’m telling you the lady that owns this restaurant is famous for her brusque manorism. Another table comes in and there’s no place to seat so she takes them to our table and seat them there without asking either party if it was alright. Luckily they we’re good company. Anyhow, the food was just as incredible this time as it was back then. We actually wanted to eat at the Olive Tree this night but it was packed so we walked next door to the Green Door Cafe instead.

The new location is a lot bigger.

After skimming the menu, I was ready to order but notice the sign at the counter, “self service please order your food here,”

And right next to that sign was the infamous Soup Nazi. It was like she was too good to get up and walk to the tables and serve people. I got up to give her my order and she was seriously eating her food as she took my order, didn’t even hesitate to stop. She just kept on shoveling food in her mouth and chewing, my hero in action. I was mesmerized. While waiting for our food, we couldn’t take our eyes off of her. She took everyone’s order the same way, didn’t skip a beat, kept right on chewing.

Ordering the flat bread here is a MUST, $1.50 each. It ties in the meal perfectly and goes with everything. I comes out fresh and hot. I haven’t been able to find bread like it anywhere else on the island.

This is the Organic Mushroom Chicken and Black Pepper with Garlic Wine Sauce, $13.75. I know it looks a bit overloaded with black pepper but it didn’t taste that way at all. The mushrooms were delectable and the dish as a whole was just superb. I loved, loved it.

Who’s not a curry fan? Everybody who loves curry right? The Malaysian Chicken Curry here is complete with flavor; a truly exceptional dish. The only thing that could of made it better was the flat bread. I filled my flat bread up with curry and folded it over like a taco, orgasmic, like a love explosion in my mouth.

The Green Door Cafe is the kind of place where dealing with the service is worth the food because no matter what you order it’s guaranteed to be phenomenal. If your not a fan of Eastern Food come for the service. I’m not gonna guarantee you’ll see Soup Nazi in action but it’s possible. After my first experience at The Green Door I shared my story with a few friends and they had a story to shoot right back at me. I also mentioned her once before in one of my recent post on Cafe VIII 1/2 and I got this comment back from Ken,

“Regarding Green Door in China Town, well, the same owner opened up shop in Kahala Mall. That lady is on another level! Were to start with my dining experiment there…
(1) Some places don’t have a liquor license, right? That’s usually cool, I actually prefer it so I can bring my own. Green Door hits you with a $3/head corkage fee, yet they don’t have a liquor license…WTF
(2) God forbid it is a busy night cause that owner refuses to hire any extra help. The whole time she was running the show and boy did she seem pissed off. A smile now and then goes a long way.
Lastley,
(3) I get a hardcore elbow to the back of the head as she is rushing in between tables, NO APOLOGIES!!!

However, the food was good… go figure.”

She’s infamous I tell ya. Fuck the food, come for the service.

After our first experience with the soup nazi we were so flabbergasted that our friend Shane had to take a photo with her.

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Green Door Cafe
1145 Maunakea St
Honolulu, HI 96817

Get Directions(808) 533-0606

Every time we drive by I’m like, let’s go there soon. I really want to check it out. Ray cringes, and pretends he doesn’t hear me. St. Louis Drive In sits at the corner of Waialae and 3rd Ave. and is pretty easy to miss since it’s so small. The place looks a bit tore up from the floor up; the kinda place that you should mentally and physically prepare yourself for, you know, with meditation, yoga, and tums, lots of tums. This draws me for some reason.

Hey, no worries, no dress code here.

Ray ordered the Mahi Sandwich, $6.55. It looks really good, yet really weird, is that a pancake in his sandwich? After poking and observing a bit more I discover that the fish is battered with pancake mix. Did they run out of regular batter or are they trying to be innovative? A drive in being innovative? Could happen. I’m not saying the next top chef works here, but maybe it’s grandma’s secret recipe. The sandwich was alright. The batter was good at first bite but then the fish just seemed limpy, and mushy. I felt like the pancake around the fish just acted as a sponge and soaked up the grease from the grill.

I ordered the Beef Stew, $5.95. It came with two scoops of rice and a small mac salad. The rice was horrible, hard some spots and mushy other spots. The stew was atrocious, definitely left overs, probably from early that month. It wasn’t very hot, hell, it wasn’t even warm. I got one half of a potato. It was as though someone got lazy and decided to cut the potato in halves to save time, instead of pieces. The beef was the worst part though. When you think of beef stew, you think of slow roasted, super tender meat right? At least I do. The beef was like jerky. No joke. It was so tough that when I took a bite some of it managed to get stuck between the walls of my teeth. At first I was hugely disappointed with the amount of meat I got but after taking a bite, I realized it was plenty because I couldn’t find it in myself to eat any more. Yep, this definitely gets the award for Worst Beef Stew Ever Made.

“You happy now?” Ray says with a sarcastic tone. He shakes his head, and just looks at me. It’s so fucking annoying because I know what he’s thinking, that this was exactly the reason why he doesn’t like coming to places like this, because the food sucks salty donkey dick cheese. But he doesn’t say much more because he knows I wouldn’t hesitate to smash my beef stew in his face. After eating we rush home because Ray has a weak stomach and his asshole needs to throw-up. I slide open the door while he’s on the shitter and that’s when I say, “I’m happy now babe.”

I do want to add that service was friendly and prices was super cheap. They have daily specials, student specials, and grape juice. Some items I found on the menu that are super duper cheap are grill cheese - $1.45, tuna sandwich - $1.75, 3 pancakes - $3.30, loco moco - $4.80. Because of it’s cheap prices I support this place, just do yoga one hour before you come, tums are optional.

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St Louis Drive In
3145 Waialae Ave
Honolulu, HI 96816

Get Directions(808) 734-3673

Driving through the Haleiwa you’ll find a strip of famous shops and eateries. It’s a tourist haven and I don’t mean that in a bad way. There’s a ton of famous eateries here, like Cholos, Matsumoto Shaved Ice, Haleiwa’s Joes, Rosie’s Cantina, Spagettini, and Haleiwa Eats. Everytime we drive by I’m like, let’s eat there, but I usually get overruled and we end up getting Mexican. It’s not so bad because tacos after a day at the beach is pretty fucking phenomenal. Anyhow, today I got my way and I finally got to check out Haleiwa Eats for myself.

I walked in and was super excited, this place is totally adorable.

On the wall behind me was a decorative display of Mac Computers. Since I’m Mac 4 life I could totally appreciate the art here. My younger sisters actually had one of these, the blue one. What a great innovative, and creative way to recycle Macs.

Here, we have the Thai Summer Rolls, $5.00, fresh rice paper wrapped with veggies and served with peanut sauce. This was a vegetarian’s dream summer roll. I’m use to summer rolls with some kind of meat like, shrimp or shredded pork, but these babies were meatless. Veggies like green beans and cucumbers that I love, but am not use to seeing in a summer roll was used. The peanut sauce made me nut myself, if you know what I mean. It was different than any other peanut sauce I’ve had, like a creamy, curry, peanut your mouth kind of sauce. Fan.

I believe this is the Thai Spicy Basil, $9.00, chili basil sauce, with string beans, zuchinni and onions. The portion was kinda skimpy, but it was no doubt delicious.

After eating the summer rolls and ordering some steam rice, I had just enough to eat to satisfy my hunger and curiosity. I left with a very happy belly.

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Haleiwa Eats
66-079 Kamehameha Hwy
Haleiwa, HI 96712

Get Directions(808) 637-4247

LA Pizza Rina is probably one of my favorite places to get pizza.

A 13″ medium pizza with two toppings cost $13.00. Not bad. But what is bad is the skimpy ass portion. Today we decided to get a medium pizza, with with three toppings instead of two. Each additional topping is only .60 cents. I had three quarters in my pocket I was planning on saving for drying my laundry when I got back home, but sometimes enjoying your meal is worth went panties. I remember the sausage was phenomenal last time so I ordered sausage, with extra sausage and pepperoni, 3 toppings right? As you can see, my wet laundry wasn’t worth it. There’s barely three pieces of sausage per slice. What a shitty deal.

Oh well, so I got sausage fucked, doesn’t change my love for them. Check out the stringy cheese on these babies. In my last post on them I mentioned the stringiness of their cheese. Here’s the proof. Love it.

We also shared the La Pizza Rina Super Sub, 12″-$.6.95. This is a better deal than Quiznos.

As you can see all three of us were able to get a generous portion. I’m not really a sandwich whore but today the sandwich surprisingly hit the spot. I think I enjoyed it more than the pizza.

Ham, salami, capicola, pepperoni and cheese with tomatoes, lettuce, onions, and La Pizza Rina’s Special Sauce. If you love pizza and sandwiches you should definitely make this you next outing.

Here’s my last review on La Pizza Rina. 

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La Pizza Rina
1425 S King St
Honolulu, HI 96814

Get Directions(808) 941-6634

The India House so far is the last Indian restaurant I have left to try. I may not have written on all of them, yet, but oh, I’ve been there alright. It’s kind of sad because every time I drive by business looks dead. What makes it sad is that there’s another Indian restaurant about one block down the street and they always look packed. I’m one to believe that packed places are usually packed with sheep that don’t really know any better, I also believe in sharing the love so Ray and I took our happy asses one block over to India House.

The place is really small. When we walked in no one was there. Hello, is anyone there?

We ordered the Lamb Madras, $14.75. As you can see there was a whole lot of sauce and not much meat or other stuff. The food was alright. It’s pretty hard for me to hate Indian. However, just looking at the amount of food I was really disappointed. What is it about Indian Restaurants giving the skimpiest portions here on the island and for not very cheap? It’s so disappointing. Of course Ray had to hear me bitch during dinner. “They just need to get off that high horse because it doesn’t look like business is doing so good. Maybe, just maybe if they gave more food, then they would have more business?” Anyhow, that’s how I feel about most, not all, Indian restaurants here. I feel like they give the smallest portions for a lot of money because they take advantage of the fact that there’s like 5 Indian restaurants here.

The naan was horrible and tasted microwaved. As a matter of fact, I heard the microwave go off several times during our dine in and we were one of only two tables there. Naan should come out warm, fresh, light and super soft, after all we do have to pay for it, $2.50. This was a bit stiff in the center, like it was over-baked the first time and then just left out till someone ordered some and then microwaved.

Another disappointing factor was the rice. We ordered plain rice and we got plain Chinese white rice, $3.75. Who the hell sells Chinese rice at an Indian restaurant? Great attention to details guys, and then to charge $3.75 for it. It’s a joke. I don’t know about you but when I order just plain rice at an Indian place I’m expecting Indian basmati rice. Needless to say the rice just didn’t go right with the entre.

As you can probably tell I’m definitely not a fan. Next time I’m walking with the sheep and taking my happy ass down the block.

Here’s a few more post I found. Apparently I’m not the only unhappy customer.

Trip advisor

City Search

City Search

City Search

City Search

I would of love to linked to some positive feedback but I couldn’t find any. Doesn’t surprise me. This place is a horrible example of Indian food. Shame on them for not caring about the quality of food that bares their name.

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Indian House
2633 S King St # 105
Honolulu, HI 96826

Get Directions(808) 955-7552

One of my New Years Resolutions was to be more conscious about my diet, not that I’m on a diet, but diet as in my eating habits. As most of you know I’m a sugar whore. Recently a coworker opened up my eyes when he said in a serious tone, “hey you should really watch out because your gonna get diabetes.” I was in the process of eating my second piece of Tiramisu after I had already eaten two chocolate cream puffs. That’s when I put my fork down and decided I really gotta change. In an effort to consume less sugar I try not to make eye contact with any bakeries. On this day I fucked up and looked. My eyes locked in, particularly on the word bakery. Oh, holly hell, fuck it, it doesn’t hurt to look. I’ll just look.

I was pretty surprised when I walked inside to see the place so clean and modern looking.

Behind the counter was two chalkboards that listed a sandwich menu and a cafe menu. Looks like this place offers more than just sweets.

These pictures actually makes the place look  larger than it actually was. The place reminds me of Satura Cakes because of it’s modern clean lines.

Even though I was good and didn’t eat any sugary sweetness it still doesn’t hurt to take a look.

Elvin’s danishes are really pretty.

And very tempting.

Alright, enough with the sweet seductions, let get down to business. I ordered Elvin’s Special Sandwich, $6.95, which was an Americanize Vietnamese sandwich. The traditional Vietnamese sandwich has the weird Asian meats, like steamed pork. Instead traditional American looking meat was used, like ham and chicken. The sweet, pickled carrots and radishes were there along with cilantro all on a French roll. I requested mine with no mayo and the sandwich came with a puny pickle and fresh cut pineapple. I was really happy with my sandwich. The change in meats was a nice fusion and may just entice others to try it. And when I say others I mean, non Asian folks that aren’t familiar with the traditional Vietnamese sandwiches. If this is you, feel free to read some of older post on Vietnamese sandwiches, Bale, French Cafe.

Ray ordered the Chicken Sandwich, $6.95. This sandwich tasted as good as it looks. It came with all the trimmings, lettuce, cheese, tomato, mayo and the chicken was a real chicken breast, grilled. I think it came on a soft focaccia bread. Whatever kind of bread it was, it was super soft and delicious. Ray absolutely loved his sandwich and of course I got to try it and it was pretty amazing.

If your a sandwich whore you guys should give this place a try. I’m definitely a fan. Enjoy!

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Elvin’s Bakery
600 Kailua Rd # 104
Kailua, HI 96734

Get Directions(808) 262-1688

Boston’s North End Pizza is another great place to get some serious grub. With locations all over the island I’m surprised this place doesn’t have a website. The only other Boston’s I’ve been to is Kaimuki on Wailae. Boston’s is the kind of place that no matter which location you visit it will be a good experience.

The place is a pretty basic pizza joint. You walk in order your piece of the pie and wait for them to heat it up. You can order a whole pie fresh but if it’s just one slice your jonesing for then odds are it’ll be premade behind the counter.

This is one slice. I know massive right? This one is the spinach and garlic I think. One slice is 1/4 of a whole pizza and as you can see is the size of two regular slices and cost about five bucks.

Rays pizza slice. Not a bad deal for a filling meal for around $5.00. Oh, and the pizza’s not bad either. Even though it’s not fresh, it’s reheated so it tastes fresh enough.

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Boston’s North End Pizza Bakery

29 Hoolai St
Kailua, HI 96734

Get Directions(808) 263-8055

Bikini Cantina is located in the back of the Aloha Tower Plaza. I have admit this was my first visit to Aloha Tower. Before all I knew of this place was that hooters was located here. There was a point and time in my life when I thought hooters was cool, but now I know that I was a bit of a female chauvinistic pig, I mean I still am, but just not as much. But, seriously, their wings really aren’t that good. Anyhow, I didn’t see Hooters on this day but I did run into the Bikini Cantina.

All I have to say is that it’s misleading to have the word, “bikini” in the name of your business if  no one’s wearing a bikini. I don’t care what anyone says, it’s false advertisement.

The view’s not too shabby.

We ordered Far Out Fajitas, grilled chicken smothered in bell peppers, onion, tomatoes and served with warm tortillas for $15.95. As you can see they serve real fajitas here. And when I say real fajitas I mean served on a sizzling skillet, the way real fajitas should be served. After seeing the fajitas at Rosie’s Cantina I was a bit concerned with the caliber of fajitas on this island. Besides coming out on a sizzling skillet the fajitas were nicely done. The vegetables weren’t over done or under done, nothing was greasy and the chicken wasn’t too dry or didn’t taste pre-grilled and then slapped on a skillet like some places do it, and the portion wasn’t too skimpy.

Of course no fajitas would be complete without the proper condiments: salsa, sour cream, guacamole, beans, rice, tortillas, and corn? Uh, not that corn doesn’t go with fajitas, but I’m just not use to corn being served with fajitas. Whatever, I’m a fan. The corn here was from a can, but sometimes the can stuff is better and less work than the fresh stuff. Speaking or corn, every time I eat the stuff there’s always a bunch of it that manages to sneak pass the digestion process and ends up whole in my shit. I chew and chew and chew but in the end my shit still resembles a yellow poka dotted slug. I don’t get it. Back to fajitas, half way through my meal I realized that I wanted corn tortillas, $1.00. These corn tortillas were absolutely the worst corn tortillas I have every had in my life. They were super thin and tasted like a 60% paper, 20% napkin, and 20% tortilla. If they’re homemade then someone needs to tell them that grandmas recipe sucks donkey ass. They just need to cut the shit and buy some from the grocery store, plain and simple.
As for the service, it was slow and a bit dull.  We sat outside for about 8 minutes before we were acknowledge.  Also, they are open from 11:30 a.m. to 2:00 a.m.  So if you got some late night munchies, there’s no better place than here.

Check out the free entertainment on the way out.   I can’t believe they don’t charge for this action packed performance.

Asians in western wear will always be amusing to me.

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Bikini Cantina
1 Aloha Tower Dr # 255
Honolulu, HI 96813

Get Directions(808) 525-7288

Cruising down Waikiki can be a bit overwhelming. Big name brand shops here, restaurant there, little Asians passing out fliers over there, and more tourist shops here. It’s so much to take in, even for the natives, which is probably why they don’t come to this part of the island, that and they have this idea that we’re taking all their land. I’ve been living in Waikiki for a year now and I’m still uncovering hidden treasures tucked down lonely streets and buried between sky high buildings. There’s a ton of them just waiting to be explored so keep an open eye. I spotted Arancino while strolling through the chaotic streets of Waikiki. I made a turn down a quite road trying to get away from all the commotion and I came upon Arancinos.

Arancino’s is a quaint little eatery. What you see here is all there is, just two small rows of tables. We came here for lunch and as you can see they weren’t very busy.

We started off with a modest loaf of bread. The rosemary on top gives off the illusion of a fresh loaf of bread filled with herbs. It’s an illusion, rosemary was just sprinkled on top, I didn’t taste any herbs here. Ray and I have this one basket rule when it comes to bread but this time I broke it because as you can see, one basket isn’t very much. Ray hated the bread, said it was as boring as bread can be. I didn’t mind it so much with the olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

Glancing over the menu I realized that this was one of those places that look small, cute and inviting, but is actually small, cute, inviting and not so cheap. Well that sucks because I really wanted to like this place and wanted to come back. But I guess I should of known, after-all, it’s still Waikiki right? Oh bother, let’s see what to order to fill us up without raping a hole in my wallet. Ah, here we go, The Margherita Pizza, which is just a fancy way of saying margarita pizza. The menu said it was fresh mozzarella, basil, and homemade tomato sauce, $14.25. I have tasted many margarita pizzas in my time to know that this is a sorry embarrassing example of a margarita pizza. I mean, I know the menu said, mozzarella, basil and tomato sauce, but what about the tomato slice on each piece of pizza, and look at the skimpy amount of tomato sauce, and cheese, and basil. You know those pathetic mini frozen pizzas you get at the grocery store for around $1.79 on sale, those were a million times more exciting than the one you see here. Actually those are fucking amazing when you’re a little buzzed and you’re at home watching a game and drinking beer, I know some of you can relate. Anyhow, Ray and I got to talking and it wouldn’t have taken much to make this pizza a little bit more pleasing. This is what I suggest. Cut up slices of tomato and put one slice on each piece of pizza, add a bit more tomato sauce and cheese, chop up some basil so you get to taste the fresh herb with every other bite and also leave the whole ones for garnish in the center. There you have it, a thousand times better than that sorry piece of shit you guys call a margarita pizza.

If your in Waikiki and you want pizza don’t come here. Take your money to California Pizza Kitchen about 3 blocks away. I usually don’t support corporate places but at least they know what the fuck is going on. But if you do want Italian, just not pizza and you have the cash to burn stay at Arancino and check it out. The place is adorable, the menu looked mouthwatering and service was done with a smile. Happy eating to you.

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Arancino Pizza and Pasta
255 Beach Walk
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 923-5557

Kozo Sushi to me is equivalent to fast food but for sushi. Now I don’t mean that in a bad way. Sushi has never made me feel like a blubber butt after consuming it so fast food sushi can’t be that bad. If you’ve been on the island for some time you’ve probably seen a few Kozo’s around. Kozo Sushi’s are always hiring. A lot of times you’ll find a young buck back there rolling your sushi. Just like fast food, they’ll hire just about anyone, “experience not necessary.” I put that in quotes because I swear I read that on their sign once.

If your wondering why there’s no tables in this photo, it’s because there are none. I was standing in the corner trying to snap a photo of the whole place. See, what I mean by fast sushi, don’t plan on eating inside, Kozo is more of a take out kind of place. However, there are tables out front that paying customers from Star Bucks, Jamba Juice, and Kozo Sushi all share, first come first serve.

This is the Philly Maki, $3.99. As you can see, they were pretty skimpy with the cream cheese today, but no worries I stilled enjoyed this just as well.

The Spicy Ahi Maki, $5.25 is not so spicy but still just as tasty.

Ahh, the good o’ classic California Maki, $3.89, will never go out of style. I Prefer mine with as little mayo as possible.

What I don’t suggest is getting a Hand Roll from this place. Some retard came up with this wrap and it’s the most annoying thing. Basically the rice is separate from the wrapper so you have to unwrap it just to wrap it up again.

But at no more than a couple of bucks for one, sometimes I’ll just have to deal with it.

If your in the mood for fast, cheap, simple sushi Kozo sushi can’t be beat.

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Kozo Sushi
625 Kapahulu Ave
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 739-2785

I’ve passed by this place several times thinking, one day, I’m gonna give it a try. One day finally came and I did stop, checked out the menu and thought, “no thanks, nothing really sounds that enticing or cheap enough to convince me it’s enticing,” so I left. Finally I made my way back to this place again and thought, “fuck it, let’s give it a shot.”

There’s a few tables to the side of the building. Grab them fast or you’ll find yourself eating in the car or taking your food home.

Ray was in the mood for Banana Pancakes today, $6.50. A stack came with three large fluffy pancakes topped with powdered sugar and was accommodated with three packets of syrup and some butter.

You can see big chunks of banana in the pancakes and when Ray realized he had mowed through half the pancakes without even asking me if I wanted to give it a taste, he says, “wow, these are really hitting the spot right now.” I’m so happy those pancakes are working out for you.

I got the breakfast special, $6.50. It came with eggs, cooked the way you like, your choice of meat, I picked polish sausage, and white or brown rice, I chose white.  If you like you could also add substitute fried rice for $1.50.  In my opinion $1.50 is a lot to pay to substitute a small about of rice. It was a nice surprise to see a piece of biscuit inside because the menu didn’t mention it. I didn’t realize until I got half way through that I was really going to finish the whole plate. Everything was really good and my plate hit the spot quite nicely just as well. I cut up my pieces of sausage and sliced up my egg and just mixed it all together with some soy sauce and pepper. I hate it when my food and eggs come out super greasy and as you can see nothing was too greasy here.

Overall I think I like this place. The prices are alright and the food is really good. They also have a full menu for lunch or just come and visit the market inside. It doesn’t hurt to look and there’s a ton of stuff to see. If your not hungry now, don’t worry you will be later. You can pick out premade, not frozen meals that you can cook up later. There’s lots of wine, bread and my favorite, dessert. Oh, there’s also premade salads and wraps for you healthier folks. Come, check, check, check it out.

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Diamond Head Market & Grill
3575 Campbell Ave
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 732-0077

If you ask me, the Greek Corner puts out some of the best Greek food on the island for the best price. Honestly, there’s not a lot to choose from. I think there’s more Indian restaurants here than Greek restaurants and if I’m correct then that’s pretty freakin depressing.. The ones I can think of off the top of my head are, Olive Tree, The Fat Greek, and then some random stands here and there.

This place looks like a Greek restaurant had sex with a pizza restaurant.

At this place a whole combo meal is large enough for two. Ray and I got the Lamb Soulvaki, $11.95. What a deal. As you can see it was a combo of grilled chunks of lamb marinated in special spices  and served with Greek salad, basamati rice and pita bread. Everything was pleasantly flavorful, just as I had remembered.

At only .75 cents we could afford to order more pita bread.

I haven’t had the chance to try the gyros here, but only because the combo plates are such a steal that I always end up getting those instead. But I did get a chance to skim the menu and this place definitely beats The Fat Greek and Olive Tree if your looking for a bargain. All of their gyros are $6.95, Greek Salad is $6.95 and there’s plenty of vegetarian options. Here’s a look at their menu if you want to check it out.

I’m definitely a fan of this place. If you do decide to take a visit here there’s parking to side of the place, your right side if your facing the building, just drive up the ramp. It’s free with validation. The first time I came here I ended up parking in the parking lot at the corner and that cost me five bucks. Don’t park there, it’s slightly further and cost money.

Here are some other write ups on The Greek Corner:

My previous visit there Cheap Places To Eat In Oahu Hawaii

‘Ono Kine Grindz

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The Greek Corner
1025 University Ave
Honolulu, HI 96826

Get Directions(808) 942-5503

As most of you know I love love love acai bowls. I’ve never heard of them until my arrival to Hawaii and then my life has never been the same. Even though I have been exposed to these precious bowls for only a year I can say with absolute certainty that I am an expert at the art of making acai bowls. I’ve attempted to make them a few times and every-time they come out crap, but nonetheless I stand by my claim as an expert in the art of acai bowls. Here let me explain. Being the cheap ass that I am I bought a cheap ass blender and now all my smoothies, shakes, etc come out looking like clumps of mushy shit. However, I’ve watched the process of making the bowl enough times to know exactly how it should be made. The key is frozen fruit. If you add fresh, soft fruit the stuff will come out runny and mushy. Frozen fruit acts as ice, giving it a thick blended consistency and also adds the obvious vitamins and nutrition. Blend two packet of acai, frozen fruit, and I prefer soy milk but juice works just as nicely. Granola should be added to the bottom of the bowl, as well as on top. Top it off with slices of fruit and them drizzle it with honey. There you have it, the recipe to a spectacular bowl. Now if you don’t want to go through all the trouble buy one. In my opinion there’s a few places that put out top notch bowls on the island.

As you can see, a not a lot of commotion going on here. It doesn’t give off the same island vibe as the Health Bar, but it’s still really cute.

What is it about smoothie places that also sell jewelery. At first I thought it was called Jewel or Juice because I thought that they have the tapioca drinks and a lot of times the tapioca is called pearl so I just assumed that jewel was referring to the tapioca pearls. No, I was wrong, they sell jewelery, there’s no tapioca pearls to be found here.

This is the Warrior Bowl, $7.50. It’s 24oz of acai, acerola, banana and soymilk and topped with bananas, berries, kiwi, bee pollen, honey and organic granola. As you can see, presentation is there. Just looking at this photo makes me want to stop what I’m doing, hop in my car and go get one now. The fruit was cut super thin, however, I think this is smart on their part because it gives off the illusion of more fruit and besides all you need is a nice balance of a little fruit with each bite. The only way they could of made this better is to add granola at the bottom of the bowl, like the Health Bar does. After I was done indulging in the first half I was left with just acai smoothie, not that acai smoothie is so bad alone, it just looks so lonely by itself.

I think one bowl is perfect for two. Which is what Ray an I do. This is the Deluxe Acai Bowl, 24oz. for $7.25. It’s acai, strawberry, banana and apple juice and then topped with banana, fresh berries, goji berries, honey and organic granola. Since I have found this place I can’t stop myself. Every morning I’m like, “ooh baby, you want to go get a bowl?”

Anyhow, I’ve been here enough to learn some new trips to make the bowl even better. First buy an extra bag of granola, $1.00. I took a picture to show you that a small bag for a dollar is not so small. Also I like getting the extra bag because I can add the granola when I’m ready for more. At the Health Bar extra granola also cost one dollar but it’s only a scoop which comes out to about 1/4 of what you see here. Also, I ask for more honey and this is only when I’m out of the free honey packets that I stole from Star Bucks. They charge .30 cents and put it on the side. Health Bar charges .50 and add it in. I keep comparing this place to the Health Bar, not to bash it. I like the Health Bar. I keep comparing the two because I think they put out top notch bowls as well, but going there can be a bit of a pain in my ass. Jewel or Juice has cheaper bowls, cheaper granola, cheaper honey and faster service. Health Bar has more expensive everything but cuter girls working as slow as their brain cells will allow, which doesn’t sound so bad depending on what mood your in.

I almost forgot to mention, another great thing about this place is that they have acai bowl cards. So if you buy 10 bowls the 11th one is free. I love places that reward loyal customs.

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Jewel or Juice
3619 Waialae Avenue
Honolulu, HI 96816

Get Directions(808) 734-1700

You know, every so often when the moon is full, the stars are bright and all the planets are perfectly align I feel like being treated to a nice dinner. I had never heard of Tanaka of Tokyo before. Shane said it was like a Benihana’s in the sense that it’s totally table side service and all the food is prepared right there in front of you.

Luckily Ray was smart enough to make reservations. There was a small wait when we got there and then we were escorted to the inner cavity of the restaurant where I all the action went down. It was like we went straight to an underground gambling casino. The place was dark with not a lot of decor on the walls just a bunch of Asians sitting around a large round table, waiting to be dealt out some serious food. The chef puts on a show deals out the food and then, next round of food, deals it out and so on. There were lots of Asians, and commotion going on. Yeah, like I said, It definitely felt like we just stepped into a secret underground casino. How exciting is that.

Everyone is started off with a salad. I suggest you ask for the dressing on the side. No dressing is better than whatever it is that they are using. Even I, the salad whore, could not eat this, pat-tuey. I also ordered a tropical drink, to the right of my salad. It comes with the glass but no worries, a clean one is given to you at the end of the meal so you don’t have to take home a dirty one. Cheers!

This was our chef. Since this was table side service putting on a big show and making your guest laugh is key.

The food, the food, the food is on fire, we don’t give a fuck let the mother fucker burn, burn . . . Just having a little fun.

I don’t remembered exactly what we ordered but I can tell you it was two combination seafood deals at about $40.00-$50.00 each. So this is how it went down, were sat at a round table with strangers. You can make nice with them or ignore them, either way, your sitting with them. We threw everyone a smile and nodded to let them know we were friendly but for the most part we ignored them and they ignored us, this is probably due to the fact that we don’t speak Japanese and like all Japanese they pretend not to speak English. Waiter comes by to takes everyone’s order. Since I’m so use to sharing I was like, “we’ll order this now and if were still hungry we’ll get more later. ” “Uh, yeah, it’s not sushi honey, you have to order everything now,” Ray informs me. He was right, you have to order everything at once, the chef then is given the list and collects all his raw materials in the back, brings it to the table, then kindly introduces himself. When the chef returns everybody shuts the fuck up because we know at places like this it’s more about the show than it is about the food.

Everyone must of ordered the same damn thing because everything our master teppan-yaki chef prepared was dealt out to everyone. He better not be giving our food to everybody else, and if he is he better give us some of their food because sharing is caring bitches. I don’t care if you have a chef knife in your hand I will Shang-hi your ass.

At the end of the meal we were given a choice of green tea, vanilla or chocolate ice-cream to choose from. I got green tea and my honey got vanilla. The green tea was definitely better than the vanilla but my honey begged to differ, which was fine because I didn’t want to share any of it. Overall I am quite pleased with my experience here. The chef was skillful at presenting the food with great flair. Sometimes it’s wise to throw the cheap card out the door.

I forgot to mention that at the beginning of dinner a photographer comes over to the table and takes group photos of everyone. “What the fuck, I’m role playing here and I don’t want evidence of me up in a secret underground casino you dumb fuck, what do you think this is Disney Land? Fuck off,” I gave the photographer my best poker face and kindly took the photo anyway. At the end of dinner he comes back and distributes the freshly developed photos to each group. As he handed me our photo I did what any respected cheap ass would of done if they were in my shoes, I whipped out my camera with a quickness and with the skill of a nimble ninja took a photo of a photo. That’s right bitches, I still had my cheap card the whole time.

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Tanaka of Tokyo
131 Kaiulani Ave
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 922-4233

So my friends and I got to talking about those places to eat that have ridiculous service. Not ridiculously good but ridiculously outright in your face sassy service. We exchanged horror stories. I brought up a place called Green Door in China Town. I haven’t written about it because at the time I didn’t have a food blog but this lady was so crazy. She was definitely in a world where customer service didn’t exist. She got to us when she felt like it, straight up ignored us when we asked for something and even suggested we go else where. And then when we ordered she told us that that wasn’t what we wanted and she totally picked us out something without even confirming it with us. Crazy right? It’s straight comedy and I love it. Now, not every place could pull off service like this but those who can and still do well must have something impressive to put out on the table. My friend was like we have to go to this place called eight and a half. She said that this guy is like a soup nazi. He’ll serve food by throwing it at you, has no problem kicking people out and has a very extreme mannerism about himself. Anyhow, is wife is suppose to be super sweet and his kid is supposely some musical protege. After our conversation I had to experience soup nazi service for myself.

Once inside you could tell the owners had a love and passion for music. The place was a mix of earthy meets jazzy, a very nice mix.

We started off with some bread, free of course. I think it was the owners wife that served us. She seemed very pleasant, sweet and obedient. The owner was conversing with the table next to us. Is it crazy that I was disappointed that I didn’t get the brusque service I was so looking forward to. Ah, oh well, let’s eat.

This was my friends order, Ratiatore Verde, kiawe grilled steak on zucchini pesto pasta, $13.00. She gets this dish every time she comes. I got a chance to try it and I could see why. Very tasty.

This was my pick, Stufato Di Manzo, Italian Beef Stew with rice or mashed potatoes, $12.00. It kinda looks like cow diarrhea doesn’t it. Well despite it’s looks it was very tasty. I didn’t pick mash potatoes it just came with it. I actually was hoping for rice instead. The dish had great flavor but was very fatty. I know some fat is necessary for flavor but this was slightly overboard. Since I have no class I didn’t mind spitting out the fat on to a napkin. My ba-dunk-ka-dunk butt has enough junk in the trunk, no need for more.

My other girlfriend got the Pollo In Potacchio, chicken in wine, tomato sauce and herbs with rice or mash potatoes, $12.00. She was very happy with her dish and said it reminded her of some hearty southern food with mash potatoes. Of course I got to try it and it was exactly as she has described it, hearty souther Italian.

This was the extent of the abrupt service I was looking forward to. I’m gonna have to agree with it. It doesn’t surprise me that the owner is a San Francisco native. Anyhow, come on down to this place. I can’t guarantee that you’ll get spectacular bad service, but you will get delightfully simple Italian cuisine at a not very bad price.

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Cafe VIII 1/2
1067 Alakea St
Honolulu, HI 96813

Get Directions(808) 524-4064

After writing about the Greek Corner not too long ago I got a few comments mentioning the Olive Tree Cafe from Alan of Maona, Nate of Hwn Pake In Okinawa and Nicolas of Aventures a Hawaii. Of course I had no choice but to check it out. There’s a lot a things I really like about this place and a few that I don’t. I’ll start with the things I didn’t like. First, the service wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t pleasant either. You order at the counter at this place. There was a small line, but when it came time for us to order the young lady that was just so friendly to everyone all of a sudden turned her switch and instantly became a bitch. Alright, maybe that’s a little harsh, but she gave off the impression that she wanted us to hurry up and order because she didn’t know us. I thought that maybe I was just over analyzing but then Ray goes, “is it just me or was she a total cunt?” Oh, how I love when my honey calls other chicks a cunt, it’s like sweet melodies to my ears. There was a tip jar at the counter and of course I wanted to take money out rather than put money in. They don’t have any to go menus and they charge you extra for petty things that should be free like, dressing or extra sauce, .96 cents, fucking greedy bastards.

We ordered the hummus for starters, $4.78. I tried making hummus once and came to the conclusion that some things just taste better when someone else makes it. I probably will never make hummus again, but I’ll eat the garbanzo beans out of it if someone else goes through the trouble of making it. I really enjoyed the hummus here. The little puddles of olive oil really added richness and flavor to every bite. The pita bread was soft and delicious, exactly the way it should be but it wasn’t homemade because Ray saw them taking it out of a bag and wondered what brand it was so we could purchase it next time we were at the grocery store. If your a huge hummus fan I also recommend the Greek Corner. They have amazing hummus along with everything else.

We also ordered Lamb Souvlaki, $10.51. My camera ran out of batteries and died before I could snap a photo but we really enjoyed it. I took a photo of their menu on the board so you guys could check it out.

Overall, I really like it here. The place is really cute and just makes you want to stay for hours and since you could bring your own wine, for a small fee, I wouldn’t mind doing so the next time I’m around. If I remember correctly they charge a very reasonable .50 cents for each glass that is needed for wine but you could bring your own wine glasses if you mind drinking out of water glasses. It didn’t look like they had any restrooms, so I would recommend doing your thing before you come here. Also, come early and guard a table because this place is known to get pretty busy. Happy dining to you!

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Olive Tree Cafe
4614 Kilauea Ave # 107
Honolulu, HI 96816

Get Directions(808) 737-0303

Ninja sushi, what an awesome name. I gotta see what this deadly sushi is all about.

No table service, just order and pick a table. The inside is fresh and clean but no restrooms are available whatsoever.

I’m a fan of the ninja stars on the ceiling.

I ordered the Dynamite Maki and the Lion Maki.

Lion Maki, $6.99. This lion tasted as good as it looks.

All the pictures looked so good that I had to get more than one thing. It’s a good thing that my honey was there to help me out. This is the Dynamite Maki, $7.25.

I’m a huge fan of this place and really impressed with the execution of food. Let’s face it this isn’t exactly fine dining, it’s not even table side service, but the food came out looking as good as the pictures they display and the portions weren’t skimpy at all. As for the taste, it hit the spot with the exact precision I would expect with a name like that. Ninja sushi kicks ass.

On the way out I realized how lucky I am to be living here in Hawaii. Where else can you see mountains like this?

It’s right here in our backyard folks. I love Hawaii.

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Ste 17
47-388 Hui IWA St, Kaneohe, HI 96744

Get Directions(808) 239-9237

Being at the Chart House made me feel as though I were in an old folks community in Florida. I’ve been to Florida once, it was actually the first state I stepped my little foot on. The family that adopted my family over from China are from Florida. I don’t remember the state much but it’s rummer that all old people go there to get away from us youngins. Life starts after 80 and it starts in Florida because it’s a geriatric haven there and here at the Chart House.

See what I mean, nothing but old people, everywhere, and not just old people, but rich old people. They sat us in the cocktail area, right next to a table of four, crazy old ladies day out. Watch out girls gone wild because these ladies were drinking and they were looking for a good time. But it was really uncomfortable because we were trapped in a corner table. The back of my chair was pinned up against another lady’s chair and every time I felt the urge to relax and lean back I hesitated because my back would rub up against hers.

Every time I go to a seafood place by the pier I can’t help but the get the urge to order clam chowder. I feel like if I love the clam chowder, I will more than likely love what’s coming next and if the clam chowder sucks dick cheese then chances are it will taste like dick cheese. The clam chowder cost $4.95 and sucked donkey dick. Great, check please! I didn’t get to taste a clam until I got half way through my soup. I didn’t really care for the flavor much, the potatoes were super mushy, and it looked a bit green, like celery chowder.

For appetizer we got the Hot Sampler, $18.95. It consists of cried chicken wings, fried zucchini, oyster rockefeller and calamari.

They oysters here were delicious, but this sauce they put with it was nasty as hell. It was super heavy, creamy and didn’t mix well with anything in your stomach.

These were the fried calamari and I didn’t care for them much either. The lady next to us seemed to take a liking to these though.

My favorite of the samplers were the fried zucchinis. The were delicious and cut the perfect width to where you get a proper amount of meat in each bite and it was cooked just right, not too mushy or raw. The grated parmeseam cheese on top was a nice touch.

I don’t know why we chose to order more but we did and we really shouldn’t have. This here is the Salmon Linguine, $10.95. As if the fried sampler platter didn’t make us feel like fat bastards enough; this plate really put us over the top. As you can see they didn’t put much care into the presentation of this dish at all. The bottom side of my dish was just bare dry noodles.

I think they cut up the salmon because it gives off the allusion that your getting more salmon than you think. I didn’t mind this because it guaranteed bits of salmon in every bite. The sauce was super rich, creamy and buttery in an instant heart attack kind of way.

Not a bad view during sunset.

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Chart House
1765 Ala Moana Blvd # 2
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 941-6669

Alright, I have to apologize for the negligence on my food blog. I swear, I’m really dedicated to informing all of you of the cheapest, hardest to find spots that I find here on Oahu but as of late Ray and I have been immersed in his start up project that it’s hard to find time to write. I’m still taking massive shits which means I’m still eating but my writing has taken a downfall. Ray’s been using me as his right hand man on his project that just launched, MyBabyOurBaby.com. It’s a baby, online, scrap-booking site that I know has nothing to do with food on Oahu, but since I’ve started this site I feel as though I’ve developed friendships with a few of you and to tell you the truth, I probably talk to some of you through comments and e-mails more than I do with my real friends so I just wanted to share this with all of you. Ray came up with the idea a couple of years ago and about a year ago he collaborated with his friend Beau, who is a champion geek. With Ray’s creative talent and Beau’s geeky brain they developed this site called MyBabyOurBaby.com. If you have a kid or know someone who does, then you could find yourself in love with this site because it allows not only you but others you choose to contribute memories to your babies book. At this day and age everyone has a digital camera and if there’s a baby around, more than likely camera’s will be flashing. Let’s face it, if you have kids photos of your children will never get old and if you took the photo sharing your photos will never get old. There’s tons of photos of your baby, figuratively speaking, that grandma has, your friends, the baby sitter, etc. has of your child during birthdays, holidays, random outings that you’ll never see. As a member on this site you invite family and friends to contribute photos and memories to your baby’s book. Basically your baby’s book will grow even if you are too busy to record it yourself. It’s such a great idea for your baby to stay connected to those that love your baby the most and are dearest to you. It’s true what they say, “they grow up so fast,” they’re only short, stubby, chubby and blad for so long before you want to kick them out of the house so your should hold on to these memories and cherish them. Anyhow, I’m super proud of my honey. If you guys get a chance to check it out let me know what you think. I’ve also posted some links about MyBabyOurBaby that others have written on. Apparently it’s gained quite a bit of press from other big name sites.

Crunch Base writes on MyBabyOurBaby

Mashable Social Networking News writes on MyBabyOurBaby 

Killer Start Ups writes on MyBabyOurBaby

Gen Beta writes on MyBabyOurBaby

Toph Speaks writes on MyBabyOurBaby

Discovering Dad writes on MyBabyOurBaby

808 Talk Hawaii writes on MyBabyOurBaby

Baby Roadies writes on MyBabyOurBaby

Publisher Blog writes on MyBabyOurBaby

Photo Matt writes on MyBabyOurBaby

Home Scape Honolulu Advertiser writes on MyBabyOurBaby

Here are some photos I’ve found of my last trip to the Golden Palace.

I know this looks a bit slimy, but it was more silky than slimy, chicken wrapped in won ton skins with gravy

This was my least favorite. The inside was filled with way too much mochi and very doughy.

I still think it’s crazy when I tell my friends about dim sum and they’re like, “dim what?” I was brought up eating this stuff and I’ll never get tired of it. Where else are you able to sample little bits of everything without breaking your wallet? As a matter of fact, dim sum has been probably one of the cheapest, most fulling meals for me. When Ray and I go I don’t think we ever spend more than $15.00. What a steal.

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Golden Palace
111 N King St
Honolulu, HI 96817

Get Directions(808) 521-8268

On this day we decided to head over to DMV to register to vote. This was a pretty stupid idea because as most of you probably already know a trip to the local DMV usually sucks donkey dick. Our visit to the DMV was no different. The lady that took our paper work was a dirty cunt bag. Since we hardly come to this side of town we decided to stay and eat up. The first place that caught our eye was this place called Noodle Me House of Ramen and Curry. At first glance one would think it’s a children’s store or maybe a google store because of its colorful sign but if you actually read the sign you’ll see it’s a noodle house.

With the exception of the table behind me this was the dining part of the restaurant.

The man that took our order was a one man army. He took our order cooked it and then served it. We started off with an order of Gyoza, 6 pieces for only $3.25. Basically they were upside down chicken pot stickers. We all really enjoyed these. These little dumplins were delivered to us hot off the grill.

We ordered the Spicy Seafood Combo Meal, $8.25. It came with this Noodle Sea Food Soup filled with fresh veggies, noodles, and seafood.

The combo also came with a heaping serving of rice. This was the way fried rice should be. It wasn’t too salty or mushy and every bit was bursting with flavor.

Hold on folks there’s more, our combo also came with more of our favorite dumplings. Can’t get enough of these. Holy shit, all this food for only $8.25. What a steal.

Shane ordered the Shoyu Yakisoba Noodles, $5.95. It was a mixture of pork, vegetables and noodles all stir fried together.  He goes, “I could seriously eat this everyday.”

This is definitely one of our new favorite finds. Our bill came out to $18.27. All that food for under $20.00. We all laughed because we kinda felt bad about it and left the one man army a mighty fine tip.

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Noodle Me House of Ramen and Curry
Ste 14
1210 Dillingham Blvd
Honolulu, HI 96817

Get Directions(808) 845-8886

After a long hard day at the water slides my friends and I drove around and around until we all finally decided on En Fuego Grill and Poke.

The inside was far from fine dining and since we were all in our bikinis and board shorts, it was perfect.

I ordered the Ahi Tofu Patty Salad, $5.50. I don’t know about you guys but after any water activity I just can’t eat anything heavy so I threw out the crispy won tons. The patty was delightfully dry, and I mean that in the best way; it’s still a tofu patty. The garden salad was bright and fresh and came with their house salad dressing that was super creamy and heavy. I only used very little of it. In my opinion they should invest in more than one salad dressing. Although I really enjoyed the patty, I don’t think it goes well with the salad. It was just an odd mix. The patty would crumble into pieces when I tried to break into it.

Shane ordered the Garlic Chicken Salad, $6.75. It was the same salad mix as before but with garlic chicken instead of the ahi tofu patty. Shane was hugely disappointed with his pick. He kept saying, I just ordered the wrong thing, so I had to taste it to see for myself. The chicken tasted a bit heavy and like the tofu patty it was a weird mix with the salad. Shane barely touched it and ended up getting some food on the way home.

The Beer Battered Fish and Chips, $8.50 was Ray’s pick. If I were in the mood for something fried I would of been really happy with this pick. Everything came hot and crispy. The fries weren’t super skinny and the fish was nice and meaty. Again, it came with the same house dressing that came with our salads. Pretty ridiculous, somebody needs to inform these people that this universal sauce is not so universal. I think the traditional tarter sauce would of done just fine.

Overall I think this place was worth the try but I think I’ll be moving on. If you do plan on coming here, I suggest you bring a little canister of your own sauce. Oh, by the way the water slides in Hawaii suck dirty dick cheese.

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En Fuego Grill & Poke
590 Farrington Hwy # 534
Kapolei, HI 96707

Get Directions(808) 674-8805

Conveniently located in Kailua on the way to Lanakai Beach Kalapawai Market definitely isn’t hurting for business. As a matter of fact every time I come here this place always seems pretty packed for a local market.

Kalapawai stands apart from your average joe market because not only can one come here for basic necessities like milk, home pregnancy tests, condoms and alcohol but one can come and stay for lunch. There’s a fine deli in the back of the place and usually someone out front inducing you with tantalizing BBQ aromas. What’s one do to? Surrender you poor unfortunate soul, surrender.

This is the Yogurt Bowl, $4.99, with fruit yogurt, granola and fresh fruit. I thought this was a pretty good deal considering the bowl was a meal in it itself. I really like the generous amount of granola that was given and it stayed crunchy even though it was premade.

There was a lot of dried fruit and some fresh bananas at the bottom. It came with one strawberry that also served the purpose of a garnish.

This is the Italian Sub, $7.49, french baguette, ham, turkey, salami, provolone, lettuce, tomato, pepperoncini, Italian dressing and sun dried tomatoes pesto. This place has kick ass sandwiches but I gotta tell ya, there sandwiches are small as hell, which is why I don’t come here all the time.

On this day Ray and I didn’t have a very large appetite so as usual we shared and it was actually the perfect amount of food. I’m a fan of this place, regardless of their puny sandwiches. Come here for good sandwiches and if your hungry order two.

Here’s an older post on Kalapawai and their restaurant.

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Kalapawai Market
306 S Kalaheo Ave
Kailua, HI 96734

Get Directions(808) 262-4359

That’s a pretty ballsy name for a place don’t cha think? I’m gonna have to see if you can live up to your name or if I have to crush you like an itty bitty pimple. Now, if you guys haven’t been here and your not tourist it’s probably because this place is hidden like Waldo. We accidentally found this place driving through what looked like warehouses. I mean this place has to be good to stay in business right? Wrong, because word on the street is that this bakery bakes for a lot of local restaurants. The only one I know of is Cheese Burger in Paradise located in Waikiki. If you haven’t had their burgers, they’re so expensive they’ll rip you a new ass, but they’re so good you’ll probably let them because we all know your a dirty whore. Well, the reason why they’re so freakin good is because their soft Hawaiian sweet buns make you want to take a bite out of crime. Anyhow, I finally got around to checking this place out and I have to say this is it.

Don’t come here for ambiance. The inside of this place reminded me of a small cafeteria inside a hospital.

Come here for they’re ass kickin sandwiches, $7.50. We shared a sandwich and it came with a drink, chips and a pickle. Seriously, this was the largest slice of bread I ever seen. Way larger than the normal slices at your local grocery store. Now you know what large bread means, it means you’ll get a large sandwich. The bread was soft and fresh and it was a bonus to know that they were made here.

Now I don’t usually order chicken salad sandwiches, that’s entirely Ray’s thing. I’m not a fan of mayo and I’m hesitant that most places will put too much mayo. The mayo portion was just right, not too heavy and not too dry and it came with lettuce and tomato. Holy fuck balls this sandwich was good. I know it’s just chicken salad but it was really good.   Ray loved it and I kinda think after tasting it he didn’t want to share with me anymore.

Along with the sandwich I ordered Tabouli, $1.75. My picture made it look bigger than it really is. Unlike the sandwich, this was small. It couldn’t have been any larger than 8oz. I don’t see a lot of people liking this. It was way too lemony. Even though it was 8oz I still couldn’t finish this. It’s not good, don’t order it.

If you plan on coming here come for breakfast or lunch. They’re closed for dinner and on Sundays.

Overall I’m a fan.

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This Is It Bakery & Deli Inc.
443 Cooke St
Honolulu, HI 96813

Get Directions(808) 597-1017

I could understand why a lot of locals stir clear of Waikiki. With mobs of tourists and an endless supply of pigs in cars, on bikes and even foot ready to give hard criminal jay walking tickets at any given moment. However, where there are mobs of tourist, there are hotels and where there are hotels therein lies restaurants and they’re usually pretty damn good.

Hula Grill is located in the Outrigger Hotel and the best time to come is right before sunset.

That’s not a mural on the wall; it was actually our view.

I really appreciate places that give free all you can eat bread. These were given to us hot filled with herbs and incredibly soft. I usually have a one basket rule but sometimes rules are meant to be broken, this was one of those times. I broke down and had the waiter get me another basket.

On the table laid what tasted similar to the Thai sweet and spicy chili and olive oil. They tasted marvelous with the bread. I don’t suggest it because it’s addicting and what led me to break my one basket rule.

For starters we got Kahuku Corn Crab Cakes with pickled plum aioli, $11.00. It came with three cakes. Although these were called “corn crab cakes, I didn’t really notice any in the cakes. Maybe they’re referring to corn meal? It came with few slices of mushrooms on top along with a fresh green mixture. These were good but a little small. I like my crab cakes with big hearty chunks of crab and I didn’t get that with these. They were cooked to perfection with a nice golden skin on both sides. The best crab cakes on the island is still from the Garlic Restaurant, but these had really nice presentation, which is always a good thing.

For dinner we order the Shrimp Scampi with garlic butter udon noodles, tomatoes and capers, $20.75. The waiter split our order for us so we could each eat off our own plates. Although it was a nice gesture, I would of preferred it if he left it all on one plate, for blog purposes. I’m quite certain that no more than one package of udon noodle was used. I was really disappointed with the amount of noodles we received. The picture made it look like we got way more than what we really did. We got 2 pieces of shrimp each. Not a lot of shrimp but they made up for it in size. These had to be tiger shrimp. The flavor was really tasty  but after the first few bites Ray and I both agreed that this dish was a little too buttery. I felt like my insides were given a lube job.

I’m telling you these shrimp were large.  Besides being slightly too buttery and the small portions, I really did enjoy this dish.

Yes, come right before sunset so you can experience it all. There was also live music in the background, not from here but from down below but we could hear it loud and clear. Overall my experience here was nice. I hate the prices, and food wasn’t mind blowing. I love the shrimp, sunset, music, Ray and feeling like I was on vacation.

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Hula Grill
2335 Kalakaua Ave # 116
Honolulu, HI 96815
(808) 923-4852

Get D

Searching for a good Vietnamese restaurant? With so many to choose from where should one start? I’ll tell you where, Pho To-Chau, that’s where. Word on the street is Pho To-Chau is the place, and when I say “the place” I mean “the place” to go for some really good pho. This place lies at the boarder of China Town and I don’t know if you guys have noticed or not but this place is popping. Every morning there’s a line streaming out it’s door that puts Studio 54 in 1977 to shame. Seriously, there’s always a crazy line and not only that but this place is sandwiched between two other Vietnamese Restaurants that seem vacant; no way, they’re open, I couldn’t tell.

So I mentioned it to one of my co-workers and she goes, “oh girl, this place is the shit, I use to go every Monday with my ex. They have the best pho on the island.” Really? Best pho huh? I’ll be the judge of that.

This is the line we walked up to. It was about a 30 minute wait.

This place had two rooms, roughly about the same size and was packed. I think I saw a total of three female workers. One was the waitress/host, another was the cook/waitress, and then the busser.

It didn’t surprise me to see that service sucked ass, but this place isn’t known for their stellar service. Actually, I thought it was a bit amusing. First one lady comes and takes our drink order, “what do you want to drink?” I order the iced coffee with condensed milk, $2.75 and Ray gets some water. She walks away, no thank you or smile, just completely emotionless. No one should ever get offended or upset over service like this, especially if it’s a hole in the wall and especially if it’s an Asian establishment. Old school Asians, particularly the Chinese/Vietnamese don’t really understand customer service, that’s not their business. Their business is pho, at least it is in this case and it’s about working as efficiently and productively as possible to get you your pho and make them money. At places like this tips stand for, To Insure Prompt Service, so if you get prompt service you should still tip well. Alright back to my coffee, if your a lover of coffee I highly recommend iced coffee with condensed milk from a Vietnamese restaurant. It usually comes out hot and compressed in a dripper with an extra cup of ice on the side. At the bottom of the ice is condensed milk. After the coffee is done dripping you dump it over the ice and mix. It’s sweet and strong and has the best coffee flavor ever. I love love this stuff.

They brought us a pitcher of water because obviously they weren’t planning on coming back to refill.

We ordered spring rolls for appetizer, $3.75, shrimp, pork, fresh herbs, vermicelli rolled in rice paper with special sauce. Each roll was cut up in four pieces each and were nicely and tightly roll. I didn’t like that they were cut in so many pieces. It made me feel like I was eating sushi. I prefer the traditional half cut.

Fuck, I got so excited when I got my pho that I forgot to take a picture right away. It didn’t come so green with basil and mint, that’s just how I like mine. In my opinion the soup is what makes the pho. A lot of people don’t even pay attention to the soup. When I get my pho, the first thing I do before I fuck with it is taste the soup, this lets me know how much I will be enjoying my meal. I loved the soup here. It was really authentic and hearty in flavor. I could tell that the soup was made from scratch and with real beef bones. I was so excited, I knew this was going to be a really good meal. I can’t tell you how much meat they put in here. Wow, these ladies don’t skimp on the meat at all. When I ordered my food they asked if I wanted my meat separate, which means raw on the side, or in my soup. I’m not really of fan of raw meat so I said in the soup. I did see them serve the meat raw on a separate plate to another table and the meat looked really good and fresh to me. It was nicely cut with good color. I was impressed. But the one thing I wasn’t impressed with was the beef ball. I love beef balls and the balls here suck, but they made up for it in everything else.

The pho came with plenty of basil. I love basil. After our lunch I boxed the rest of it up for later. They charge .25 cents for a to go box. Whatever, it’s a quarter and lunch was pretty cheap. When I had my leftovers later I was still so surprised to see how much meat was still left. I haven’t been to a lot of pho restaurants on this island but I think my friend is right, Pho To-Chau has to have the best pho on the island.

This was the line when we left. I guess I’m not the first to discover this place. If you decide to come here, come early or be patient. Also they have weird business hours, They are only open for lunch and close at 2:30.  By the way, the pho cost $6.95.  What a deal.

Pho To-Chau

At the corner of River and N. King.

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Pho To-Chau
1007 River St
Honolulu, HI 96817

Get Directions(808) 533-4549

Bubba Gump was born from the major motion film Forest Gump. The movie was a huge hit earning over 677 million during its theatrical run and nominated for 13 academy awards and taking home 6 of them. The first Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. opened up two years later in 1996 in Monterey California, I’ve been to that one too by the way. Today there’s about 29 Bubba Gumps around and not just in the U.S. but they also branched out to Mexico, Japan, Bali, Philippines, Hong Kong and even Malaysia.

The inside was open so you could eat and watch shoppers stroll by.

Today was one of those days that I wanted to start off with something sweet  so I ordered Mama’s Best Strawberry Shortcake, $6.99. I was surprised because this looked just like the picture on the menu. Like all strawberry short cakes the cake part was a little dry but when it’s served with ice cream, strawberries, whipped cream and bathing in a pool of heavens sweet nectar it changes everything. I really liked this. It was big, so big that we couldn’t even finish it and there was 4 of us. I think the only thing that could of made this one better is to add a bit more whipped cream and strawberries.

For our main course Ray and I shared Shrimper’s Heaven, $18.99. It came with Coconut Shrimp, Chilly Shrimp, Fried Shrimp, Tempura Shrimp, Fries, Cole Slaw and a trio of dipping sauces. I figure you can’t go to Bubba Gumps and not get shrimp right? I know it’s not exactly cheap but it had a little caricature of a shrimp next to it on the menu as a symbol of one of the house special dishes, so I figured it was worth a shot and and a few extra bucks.

Shrimp Tempura. I’ve had better. In my opinion, if your in the mood for tempura shrimp get it from a Japanese Restaurant. It came with about 4 pieces.

The Fried Shrimp. Bor-ring. This came with about 4 pieces too.

Coconut Shrimp. This was very heavy and greasy. It too came with about 4 pieces.

Chilly Shrimp. This is just shrimp cocktail with the shell left on. I’m not a fan of shrimp cocktail but if I were I’d say they were delicious. I think I would of preferred it if it were prepealed, is that a word, but only because we were having lunch with our friends Nate and Taylor from San Francisco that we hadn’t seen in a while so I had to behave like a civilized human being, not that civilized human beings don’t peal shrimp, but you get my point; wow, talk about a run on sentence. Anyhow, usually I love getting down and dirty with my food, like picking up a nice handful and chucking it straight across the room right beside Ray’s pretty little head, knocking him out. TKO baby, I hit you, you hit the ground. One day, I promise you, one day. Back to the shrimp, I have to say they gave a good amount of these chilly shrimp. I didn’t count but if I had to guess I would say there were about 10 little critters just waiting to be consumed.

It came with cole slaw. I want to say it was about 6 oz. Not very much, but who needs a lot of this stuff?

Fries were basic. Nothing amazing but not bad.

While we were there two tables down from us someone had a birthday so if you ever come here you could pretend like it’s your kids birthday, like everybody else does and get a free dessert, while complete strangers sing to you guys.  I do it all the time.

The best time to come is at sunset which is around 6:30. They have a great view, being on the second floor and all. Overall I have to say this place just didn’t do it for me. I know it attracts tons of tourist and all I’m saying is leave this place for the tourist you deserve better.

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Bubba Gump
1450 Ala Moana Blvd # 3253
Honolulu, HI 96814

Get Directions(808) 949-4867

My friend Cammie was down a few days ago. I can’t tell you guys how much I love this chick. But anyhoo, she knows how much I love sweets so she asks me, “hey have you been to Yami Yogurt at the mall? They have really good yogurt. I was like, “Yami Yogurt? No, and how is it possible that you been there already and I haven’t.” So the next day I was like ,”baby grab your keys we have to go some where, like now.” At first it was a bit hard to find since it was on the side of the mall that we’re never at, across from the food court on the other side.

I got a small grape flavored yogurt, $3.02. The prince was really weird to me; why not $3.00 or $3.05 but whatever. The cup was really small and since Ray and I were sharing I was a bit weary that it wouldn’t be enough. This cup was like seriously, 8oz but as you can see they filled it up quite nicely. The yogurt reminded me of the hello kitty candy I use to buy when I was a little girl. It was sweet, juicy, light and creamy. If you ever had candy from the hello kitty store, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. They do have toppings too, lots of it but I didn’t take note of the price. I’ve had a lot of soft serve here on the island, from TCBY, Fiore, to DQ and in my opinion Yami’s is the best so far.

If you can read Japanese this shirt is pretty funny.

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Yami Yogurt
1450 Ala Moana Blvd
Honolulu, HI 96814

Get Directions(808) 955-4144

Ready to rock and roll? Because the Big Fat Greek is now open. I can’t tell you how long I’ve been waiting for this day. I tell ya, while next door at Tropicana or Baja Tacos I saw this place while under construction. Like all construction in Hawaii it took way too long and my patience wore thin. Seriously this place better be good otherwise I’ll be force to throw a shit bag at their door.

Inside The Fat Greek I found it to be petite, and inviting. You could tell they really put some thought into this place. They had the nice warm lighting, stone tile floors and the dark wood tables and trimmings to offset the cream yellow walls and dark ceilings for a more dramatic effect. I took this picture from the last table so basically what you see is all that there is to see inside. We actually wanted to sit outside but all the seating out there was taken. They really fixed the place up quite well outside. There was dimmer lights outside really gave it a romantic feel or just made you want to stay and talk for hours, which is what everyone outside was doing. We sat down at a table, ordered at the register and then sat back down and waited.

For appetizers we ordered Mussels, $5.00. You get five of them, so basically it cost a dollar for one if you want to break it down. It was cooked with their “special” sauce, ginger, capers, garlic, served with lemon and “special” Greek spices. I hate it when places use the word special to describe things. Special sauce? That’s way too vague and could mean anything. Special spices? What makes them so special? Nothing, they’re just spices, just say a mixture of spices or just tell me what spices they are. It’s like saying that kid is special and has special needs. He’s not special, he’s retarded and is mentally challenge and rides the short bus. Anyhow, the word special just scares me.

I really enjoyed these mussels. I usually put a little tabasco on them, but they had such good flavor that I didn’t want to ruin it. The capers were a nice touch and the garlic wasn’t over powering at all. I  assumed that the hot sauce on our main dish was for these mussels since they worked so perfectly together. This sauce (in the silver ramekin, upper right hand corner in the picture below) will blow your mind. It was the best mussel sauce I’ve ever had, hands down. Way better than tabasco.  It’s tangy and spicy so be prepared.

For our main entree we ordered Souvlaki. What you don’t know what souvlaki is? You poor, sheltered, unfortunate child. Souvlaki, well that’s um, Greek for uh, well this is what the menu says, “Chicken, lamb or fish marinated with lemon, olive oil, garlic, pepper and Greek oregano. Served with a side of pita bread, tzatziki sauce and salad,” $10.00. What you don’t know what tzatziki sauce is either? Well I can’t spend all day teaching common conventionally foods. I’ll be brief, it’s Greek and it’s sauce. Lets carry on.

I’ll be honest, I don’t know what Souvlaki is or tzatziki sauce for that matter, which is why I ordered it. Hell, if you guys want to know the truth, I can’t even say it. I don’t know how to pronounce this shit. The menu just made it sound really tantalizing and they didn’t use the word special to describe it. So when we got our Souvlaki, well we were a little disappointed to see that it was basically a gyro. A pretty skimpy gyro if you ask me. The whole bottom portion was practically meatless with the exception of a few pieces of meat and the thing was drowning in what I assumed to be tzatziki sauce. We didn’t think this would be similar to a gyro because a gyro was listed on the menu, right under Souvlaki for $7.00. And when it says it’s, “served with a side of pita bread,” well, we assumed it was served with a side of pita bread, not in a pita bread.

I swear on my life I didn’t tamper with this before I took a picture. By the way, we ordered lamb with it. Lamb is just the meat of choice when dealing with Greek or Indian food. Looking at my gyro drowning in sauce at first was bothersome. But the sauce was really good. It tasted light, cool, and creamy but not in a heavy way. The meat was tasty but was a little chewy and not tender enough. The salad was fresh and delicious.

Now if you want my advice, I think this place is worth a try. They tell you to bring your own alcohol right on the menu so do it and use them for their ambiance. The place is adorable and the food is not bad. Hell, if you come here for the mussels and hot sauce it would have been worth the trip. Now if you don’t give a rats ass about ambiance and your in it to save a buck, I can tell you better places to go. I have three in mind. There’s this place inside the International Market in Waikiki in the food court. I’ve never written a post on it and I don’t know the name but the gyros are fucking good and only about $5.00. The Greek Corner is a winner in my book. Ray and I got this ginormous combo plate for only $10.95. That’s .95 cents more than this place and you get so much more and the food is spectacular. There also Leo’s Taverna Express Healthy Greek Food. They give super large gyros that only cost $4.95 and again they were better than The Fat Greek. So if you guys get around to checking out any of these places, I’d love to know your thoughts.  Enjoy!

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The Fat Greek
3040 Waialae Ave.
Honolulu, HI 96816
(808) 734-0404

There’s all sorts of cool places to eat in Manoa. Island ended up being our place of choice so we parked our car and headed in for some sandwiches.

The inside was decorated with black and white photos. Maybe the owner is also a photographer?

We ordered the Grilled Chicken Sandwich, $9.95 for a full foot long and $5.95 for half. They came with mustard, lettuce, tomato, and onion. I requested no mayo. As you can see one foot long is plenty for two.

I was surprised to see how generous they were with the chicken. We go two chicken breast fillets on each 6 inch sandwich. It was actually too much meat for me so I took one fillet off and saved it for my dog. Luckily there was a good amount of meat to balance the thick bread and the bread was really soft.

We also ordered a small order of onion rings. Yes this is a small order and it only cost me $2.25. A large order cost $3.50. These were good, but I’ve had way better. The batter was sweet and the onion rings inside were thin. It seemed like I was biting into a hallow battered shell.

I think overall this place I would come here again. The sandwich was a really good deal and so filling. I couldn’t even finish my 6 inch. During my visit the owner came up to me and asked me the reason for all the photo taking. Of course I lied and said I just got a new camera and I was just playing with it.

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Island Sandwich Shop
2855 E Manoa Rd
Honolulu, HI 96822
(This is actually Safeway’s address, which is in the same plaza)

I get a lot of e-mails asking me where I think the best place to go for Mexican is. This is a hard question because as most of you know, there’s not a lot of Mexicans here. There’s a lot of people that look Mexican here, but those are called locals and they speak Pigeon, not Spanish. Anyhow, I want to say I’m always up to try a new place, but when it comes to Mexican food I really have to be in the mood mentally and emotionally detach myself from being too judgemental only because I’m so tired of being let down.

Mi Casa Taqueria has a bit of room inside and uses big open windows to let in natural lighting and it’s not bad for picture taking.

There’s a thin line between fun vibrant colors and juvenile primary colors here but either way it’s fresh and playful. Basically they hand you menus when you walk in or direct you to get them yourself and when your ready to order you hike your happy ass up to the counter, order, pay and wait.

While we waited I noticed some other tables munching on chips and salsa. Humm, that’s funny I didn’t get any chips and salsa. So I went back up to the counter and asked if we get chips and salsa or if we had to pay for it. Unfortunately we have to pay and it cost $2.95. Well that sucks considering our meal wasn’t exactly the cheapest plate but fuck it I hate watching other people eat so I paid. As I stood at the counter to wait for my chips I notice the lady pouring what was left in a bag, like a bag of chips from the grocery store, which explains why they look just like Doritos.

The salsa was the smokey puree kind; I prefer chunky.

So after eating the first layer of chips I see nothing but a bunch of broken chips. If I didn’t have to pay I wouldn’t be so disgruntle about it but I did pay. Why did that bitch give me a basket of broken chips, it’s not like she didn’t know, I saw her in the corner pouring it. Don’t people care about what they put out for their consumers? I mean even if these aren’t their signature chips, it’s still served in their restaurant, therefore it still bares their name.

So Ray decided as one of his new year’s resolutions he’s gonna stop eating cow meat. Since we wre here on he eve of the new year we figure that there’s no better time than now to order steak. We ordered the Carne Asada Plate, $13.95. It was fresh grilled skirt steak with their own dry rub, flame grilled and served with rice, fresh pinto beans, black bean salad, guacamole, and fresh handmade corn tortillas. The rice and beans were really good. Ray’s really picky about his rice and beans and he was even keen on them. I liked the guacamole and the black bean salad was incredible. As for the steak, although the flavor was there it seemed a little chewy and I’m guessing it’s because it was overdone. But overall I have to say we both enjoyed our plate. It came with 3 handmade tortillas wrapped in foil. I really took a liking to them but refrain from asking for more because I feared they would charge me for it. I think I saw on the menu that there would be a $1.00 charge for 3 more tortillas. I know they’re handmade, but fuck that. I already got charged for some shitty ass chips and salsa I don’t want to pay more.

There wasn’t much, but I really enjoyed the black bean salsa. It was light and tangy cool with bits of corn

While we waited at our table next to the kitchen we notice this sign. Don’t fuck with their cooks!

Black and white pictures hung above us of destitute Mexicans. I know they’re meant to evoke some kind of feeling of nostalgia but I thought they were a little depressing. I don’t need sad people staring at me while I eat.

Depressing . . . makes me want to slice my wrist the right way.

Overall I paid just about $18.00 for lunch. Ray and I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t worth it. Rosie’s Cantina, Cholos, and Cha Cha Cha Salsaria gives free chips and salsa and they’re way better, service is also friendlier at all three places.

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Mi Casa Taqueria
3046 Monsarrat Ave
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 737-1562

Mikawon is somewhat hidden in the walls of Waikiki. Ray suggested this place which was a surprise since he’s never really suggests Korean. Of course I had to jump on the opportunity.

When we walked in I couldn’t help but it feel a sense of deja vu. Have I been here before? In a dream? A past life? Ah, oh well, lets eat.

We noticed on the way in a picture of a lunch special for $9.00 in the window. It looked like a decent amount of food at a fair price so we decided to give to a shot. Basically, you get BBQ beef, chicken, a dumpling, an egg patty and four sides along with rice. Yeah, I thought it was a nice deal too and as you can see from the picture it was a good amount too.

For my sides I picked tofu, kim chee, seaweed, and glass noodles, all of it came cold. I picked the sides and waited a bit for them to cook the meat in the back. The tofu was solid and tasty, the kim chee was a tad too salty, the seaweed was too seaweedy, if that makes sense, and the glass noodles were really good. The meat was like Yummies good. I liked it but that was the extent of it. There was no love involved.

These noodles were the bomb. It was the only side that we really like and of course it had to be the skimpiest. This is a close up of it and I think we were able to get a bite out of it each. It had a subtle sweet and peppery flavor. Ray was like, how come you didn’t get more of this and less of the other stuff.

The place is covered with drawings and pictures from visitors from all over. Here’s one I found that I wanted to share.

I had to take this one for Ray, since he’s Mexican. I just had to translate it for him since he doesn’t speak or read it.

Anyhow, a few days later I was going through some of my photos and what do I see, a picture of me and my friend Cammie here. We were on vacation in 2005. Haha, I knew I had been here before.

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Mikawon Korean Restaurant
2345 Kuhio Ave
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 924-3277

So after Cake Culture Cupcakes we decided to stay in the Aina Haina Shopping Center Courtyard and find some place eat. We spotted Komakata Japanese Restaurant and headed that way to give it a try.

The inside was quite spacious. Lots of table seating on this side of the restaurant and the other. We came at the perfect time because there were only a few tables being used but by the time we ordered our food most of the tables were occupied.

After skimming the menu Ray and I decided on the Combination Dinner, $20.50. We got to pick two items from the list of sashimi, katsu, teriyaki chicken or beef, butterfish misoni, ahi teriyaki, tempura and sushi mix. We picked sushi mix and sashimi. The meal also came with rice, miso, soup, tsukemono, tobachi and salad.

Honestly, I don’t really know what tsukemono, tobachi is but I’m guessing it’s one of these. This is what our meal started out with and this is probably why Japanesies are so damn skinny. I don’t know the proper terminology but I call this poke, pickled radish, and pickled cabbage. Everything was good, but I could seriously eat this in under a minute and that’s not sharing. I guess this is where I practice chewing my food, enjoying one another’s company and patience. It was all fresh and yummy.

Soon salad and miso soup followed. Again the salad portion was a disgrace. The picture really makes it look big because it so wasn’t. We got one slice of tomato, one cucumber slice and a layer of mixed greens. The bowl came to us a quarter full. I think they should pick smaller bowls for the salad so it at least doesn’t look so skimpy.

One of the reasons why I love miso soup is because no matter where you order it it comes out piping hot, not warm hot but hot hot. It’s so nice because it instantly warms your tummy. Miso soup is definitely comfort food for the soul.

Here is our sushi mix. As you can see it’s a lot like a rainbow roll, sorta, just not rolled but you know what I mean. It tasted the way it looks, fresh and very satisfying. I love ginger, especially the yellow kind over the pink kind because it makes me feel like it hasn’t been tampered with and that’s the kind it came with.

Our sashimi was an absolute delight. As you can see from the picture it had a vibrant pink to it and was cut in the perfect bite sizes.

If this picture doesn’t want to make you go out and get some sashimi then I have failed you.

The meal also came with a small bowl of rice. Luckily Ray and I don’t eat that much rice because the bowl of rice was really small as well, like smaller than most small bowls of rice. Anyhow, for 20 bucks for all that food I don’t know if it makes it into my, “cheap places to eat” category. I’m gonna have to move on.

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Komakata Japanese Restaurant
820 W Hind Dr # 102
Honolulu, HI 96821

Get Directions(808) 377-5700p

So Ray’s on the phone talking to our friend Amber and she’s like, “oh my God, if Doe were here she would die, our company bought us the most amazing cupcakes from Cake Couture Cupcakes.” And I’m like, “ohhh, can you guys save me one?” Anyhow, Ray and I are in the car driving around looking for a new place to dine when what do we drive right into, Cake Couture Cupcakes. It was fate, destiny, what-ever you want to call it. Some things are just meant to be and these cupcakes were made to be consumed by me and me alone. The place is pretty hidden inside Aina Haina Shopping Center Courtyard in Hawaii-Kai. The shopping center itself looks a bit outdated but Cake Couture Cupcakes was like finding a small gem in a bowl of rocks. Once you laid eyes on it it sparkles and shines and just draws you in. You can see from the picture and right through the window that the place is tiny.

As soon as I laid I eye upon these I knew she was the one. These were Eggnog flavor and cost $2.50 each.

I know, don’t they look so pretty? I almost didn’t want to eat it. I have to say, the first bite was orgasmic. The second bite was amazing. There was no doubt the frosting was eggnog. The cake itself was not eggnog and tasted yummy like most cupcakes do but it was definitely the frosting that makes the cake. By the time I got 2/3 through my eggnog delight I realize that one cupcake was all I could handle. The frosting didn’t taste too sweet at first but by the end it was really sweet and almost ruined my appetite for dinner.

I love cupcakes because they’re like having a little cake without having a whole cake. These are definitely worth a try. I know it’s the New Year and everyone’s trying to loose all that blubber they’ve accumulated in 2007 but I say fuck it. It’s o.k to be a hedonist every once in a while and the best time is at the beginning of the year so you have the rest of the year to focus on those goals. By the way, hope everyone had nothing but good times during the holidays and I wish you a very prosperous up coming year filled with full bellies and big smiles.

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Cake Couture Cupcakes
820 West Hind Drive. #112
Honolulu, HI 96821

Located right below Irish Rose, one of the best local bars on the island Pho Minh Thu would make great drunk food if only they were open till the wee hours of the night. A bunch of my friends come here often because it’s convienent and according to them, really good. Well as always I had to see for myself.

Inside Pho Minh Thu was about eight covered tables. There was only one other table besides ours, which usually means a short wait will follow.

It’s just hard not to start off with Summer Rolls. They’re just so good and the perfect appetizer to start off with since they’re light, refreshing and so darn good. These were $3.95 for two. I liked that the shrimp were bright pink because it meant that the shrimp was cooked well, which for me is a good thing.

Listed under the Vegetarian Section of the Menu was these Garden Rolls, $3.95, aka, Tofu Rolls. If your vegetarian or a lover of tofu I highly suggest these. They were just like the summer rolls but with tofu. The tofu still had the skin around and was cut just thick enough to where you can really taste the tofu but it wasn’t overwhelming.

I ordered the Tofu & Green Papaya Salad, $5.95. I guess tofu just sounded good today. The tofu was good, and everything tasted really fresh, but the papaya was shredded a little too thin for my liking. I love basil so it was nice to see it topped with lots of it.

Ray ordered the combination shrimp and chicken fried rice, $5.95. This was a little on the boring side. It lacked flavor. They gave us the small shrimp, which would of been o.k. if more were given. These are the small shrimp, so I know they’re really inexpensive. Also, we didn’t realize there was any chicken in there until we took a closer look.

See, there it is. I took a picture of it next to my fork so you guys have an idea of how small the shrimp and chicken pieces really were.

I would come back for the tofu rolls. Those were a winner in my book. I don’t know why more places don’t offer them. I would think they would be a better investment than the traditional summer rolls. Everything else was mediocre.

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Pho Minh Thu
478 Ena Rd
Honolulu, HI 96815

Get Directions(808) 946-2299

I don’t see a lot of TCBY’s anymore. Back in California there use to be quite a few, but then they started dropping like flies. I remember when I was a little girl my older sister, Lana would take Me and our little sister to the TCBY in Merced. I was a sugar whore back then too, difference is I had to rely on other people to pay my way. Well, times have change and these days I could afford to take myself to TCBY. Lets just say I’m a balla on a budget. On this particular day I happen to have little sis with me so it brought me great joy to rekindle old childhood memories with her.

The inside of TCBY.

As you can see it’s not a bad size for an ice cream shop

I got vanilla flavor in a small size, $269 with health toffee topping, .85 for two scoops. Their smalls are a generous size. One is plenty for one and perfect for two. Also, for .85 for two small scoops of topping is a nice deal. I can’t tell you how many times I just wish they would just be a little bit more generous with the toppings at other creameries. I didn’t feel that way here. The vanilla was smooth, refreshing and a just the right base for the toffee. I was really happy with my treat and so was little sis.

Not skimpy on the toppings at all.

But just so you guys know, the water fountain is out of order.

Also, if you want an employee’s phone number, don’t call and ask for it, they won’t give it to you. Instead just come inside and get it yourself. It’s right there behind the counter for anyone who wants it. * The owner of TCBY hit me up, and ask that I take off his employee’s phone numbers from my site. I debated for awhile, but since I’m such a nice person I decided to blur out their numbers. You’re welcome.

My little sis is goofy.

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TCBY
2700 S King St # D103
Honolulu, HI 96826

Get Directions(808) 949-3233

Every time we drive by Bostin’s North End Pizza Ray’s like, “ummm, pizza” and I’m like, “yeah but we should try that sushi place right next door.” So one day we decided to stop and finally check it out.

It’s a really small shop. Besides two other small tables this was it. The old man that took our order was adorable. He just seemed like one of those humble, wise geriatrics that you just want to hug.

The menu was on the wall and fake sushi laid out on display behind a glass counter.

We ordered the California Maki, 8 pieces for $3.99. Yeah, I know, we played the safe route. Actually, if you want to know the truth, Ray picked this one out but I support it. Some say California Rolls isn’t real sushi. I think it’s safe sushi. It’s something that always taste good and the best thing to start someone who has never experienced sushi out on. There are some poor unfortunate souls out there that have never had sushi. I work with one. It’s so sad.

Is it me or does it look like there’s chicken feet in my sushi? I ordered the Spider Maki, 8 pieces for $6.99. My verdict on this one is, no. There was way too much batter around the crab.

I took the batter crab out when I got home and found it to be the size of the sushi itself. Now I know it wasn’t like this throughout the sushi, but this is still pretty ridiculous.

I’m sure some of you are like, “what do you expect from a place like this?” I don’t know. This is what I expect I suppose but you never know, sometimes places surprise the hell out of me and those are the place that I’m in search of.

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Sushiya
3506 Waialae Ave
Honolulu, HI 96816

Get Directions(808) 735-9494

Wild Ginger had their grand opening back in November. I didn’t get a chance to make it but I did make it a few days after and boy I gotta tell you this place is good.

The inside is roomy so accommodating larges parties I wouldn’t think would be a problem. Everything looks clean and fresh, the way a new restaurant should look.

After ordering they brought us a small dish of pickled sweet and sour veggies. I loved this stuff. It was slightly sweet, slightly sour and crispy. It was a perfect appetizer to wake up my taste buds for more tantalizing dishes.

For starters we ordered Vietnamese Summer Rolls, $6.00. It came with four pieces, or two rolls cut in half. If you look closer you can see big chunks of seafood. The rolls were topped with seaweed and radishes.

Selena ordered the Vietnamese Salad, $6.00. Being the picky person that she is she ordered the dressing on the side. It was our server’s first day of work and she forgot to tell them to leave the dressing off. She felt really bad and it really wasn’t a big deal. After that the cook and manager, everyone kept coming up to our table asking how everything was, if we needed anything, more water, rice, a foot rub? Everyone was so nice but so there in your face. As soon as we finish swallowing someone new was there at our table happily ready it get us whatever our hearts desire. Everything’s great, food’s fantastic and service is a little over the top. We just want to eat our food in peace people. Leave us alone! Please, leave us alone. Anyhow, the salad was delish. Really fresh and crisp, slightly sweet and nutty.

We tried to get dishes that we all could enjoy. This is the Yaki Soba Dish with Chicken, $8.00. It was garnished with a ginger. I don’t really think that ginger was the best garnish for it but whatever, it’s garnish right? The noodles had great flavor. They weren’t skimpy on the chicken either. Extra hint of veggies made for a crisp bite every time. There’s nothing I would change about this one.

And here is the dish that tied everything together. This is where all the magic happened, the Steam XO Sea Bass, $15.50. It was a sea bass fillet steamed in XO sauce and served with fresh veggies. This dish is one of those dishes you would have a personal chef prepare for you when your still trying to be healthy. I don’t know what XO sauce is but I’m a fan. I always thought that XOXO meant hugs and kisses so maybe it’s just sauce that’s made with love. Works for me. The fish was tender and flaky and tasted so good. I think everyone could agree that this was the best dish.

There you have it folks. Another great find. Now I know this place isn’t the icon for cheap places, but It’s somewhat affordable. So if you feel like treating someone you love to a nice meal this would be the place. Like I said, service was a little over the top, but I think it had something to do with just opening up and trying to make sure everyone had a great experience. Overall I have to say we all did. At the end of our meal, the manager gave us 25% off our check for the inconvenience of the dressing on the salad. It wasn’t a big deal, but I’m never going to fight a discount. So in the end, for us, it was a cheap place to eat.

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Wild Ginger
3441 Waialae Ave.
Honolulu, HI 96816
808 738-1168

Oh mall food, where do I began. I’ve never been a fan of most mall food because most of the time it’s just seems as though it’s a clutter of fast food, poor in quality with really horrible service all within an overcrowded food court. Unless of course it’s a restaurant all on it’s own and, well, that’s a different story. We were turned on to Gourmet Express by a close friend of ours, who chooses to remain anonymous, Amber. She said it wasn’t really expensive, the portions were pretty big and it was surprisingly good. Also, they have vegetarian items, which is a good thing since she’s one of those people. While shopping at Kahala Mall one day Ray and I happen to stumble upon Gourmet Express and decided to give it a whirl.

It’s Christmas time at Kahala Mall so pick a seat around their festively large tree.

I didn’t mind the mall food court on this side of the mall because it didn’t give me that mall food court vibe. As you can see although all the tables are taken up there’s not a lot of hyperactive energy going on. Did I mention it was Christmas time?

Since we weren’t ridiculously hungry we decided to share something. I know I mentioned this before but I highly recommend sharing. Ray and I do it almost every time. It prevents us from overeating and allows us to try anything on the menu without worrying about how expensive it is since we save money on the extra meal we can splurge on anything we want so long as we agree on it. On this day we decided on a Quesadilla. Ray goes, “We’re gonna get a Chicken Quesadilla. Is there a difference on the Chicken or Checken.” And the lady behinds the counter goes, “Huh?” looks up at the sign and goes, “Oh, it’s just spelt wrong.” I have one word for you, Retards. They have to be. I mean if both of them were spelled, “checken,” well then that’s a different story. I spell words wrong all the time but the first one was correctly spelled so how is it that they couldn’t manage to correctly spell the second one. I mean, really it’s right there in front of them. It baffles me. This person had to be highly confused and in a moment of despair decided to play the odds game. At least this way one of them would be correct. Great, now I’m a little worried about the turnout of my food.

Here it is, Checken Pesto Quesadilla, $6.99. As you can see the presentation is pretty basic. Our quesadilla came in four cut pieces in a styrofoam container inside a plastic bag with a small side of salsa. You can see Rays arm to the side so hopefully you guys can have an idea of how nice the portions were.

The quesadillas were fully packed with chicken, cheese, pesto sauce, tomatoes and even corn. Wow, it was really good. The pesto sauce was mixed with olive oil so even though it seemed a little greasy it was the good grease. The chicken didn’t once taste fatty or too dry. I told Ray I wouldn’t question this dish the least bit if it were served at a gourmet restaurant on a fancy plate with lovely garnish and a lovely price to match. The salsa was nothing spectacular, tasted like the can stuff you get at the grocery stores.

This might not look very enticing but I opened up the last bit of my quesadilla so you guys have an idea of what’s on the inside. No surprises.

There you have it folks. I was happy, Ray was happy and we have Amber to thank for it and now you do too. Thanks Amber, now just go over there, show them which chicken is correct and everyone will be happy.

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Gourmet Express
4211 Waialae Ave
Honolulu, HI 96816
(808) 732-7700

Alright, I’ve been holding off on writing this post long enough. If you’ve been a good little fan and reading all my post then you’ll remember when I said Metis, or Rainy Day Cafe is the best internet cafe on this island in one of my previous post on Morning Brew. Metis just recently changed its name to Rainy Day Cafe. I personally thought the name Metis was more fitting. The manager was hired to give the place a nice douche job. Although the cafe was nice before I do notice a few subtle changes that really enliven the place.

As you can see, this cafe is pretty spacious. Unlike a lot of internet cafes around the island, there’s plenty of space. There’s seating at the counter, couches, and at the tables. Like a good internet cafe, they have computers for your using pleasure, not that kinda of pleasure you sick, sick man, for a small fee of course. Now, if you already have a laptop, sweet, because if your a computer whore like me and can easily spend countless hours with your laptop, then you’ll appreciate all the power outlets they provide. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been to an internet cafe and been forced to leave only because my computer ran out of power. If your hungry they have a small selection of food and if you want something sweet they have a nice array of pastries and tarts to choose from, all which look very tempting. Also, the restrooms always looks clean and inviting, which is a nice bonus, as we all know coffee is a laxative. Every time I go into the restroom to do my thing, I regret not taking my fully charged laptop with me. I swear I can hear the toilet say, “come in old friend, my how I missed that sweet ass of yours. Come sit on my face.” And I respond, “don’t mind if I do.” I think a bidet would look quite nice in here. Anyhow, internet isn’t free. I know I mentioned many times that all business should give free internet but if your a noncorporate internet coffee shop, then I guess it’s okay. The fee is $3.00 per user but Ray, Shane and I like to all go in and pay for only one user and pass the access code around. There’s been days where we are the only ones in there and still we pay for only one user fee. I know they’re not stupid and have to know but they probably just don’t care or know that we are just loyal customers and would rather spend the money we save on food. Here’s what we bought.

This Bagel Sandwich, $4.95. Yes only $4.95. There’s not a lot of places that have food for under five bucks so even if you don’t have any desire to use a computer and you just want to to grab a quick bite that’s cool too.

This bagel sandwich comes with fresh romain lettuce, cheese, tomato, cucumber and a creamy pesto sauce. Everything works in conjunction really well. The creamy pesto gives it a nice gourmet touch while the cucumbers really balance out the strong natural flavors of the salami.

Next we have the New York Lox Bagel, $6.50. The last lox bagel I had was at Bogarts and apparently if I go back there one of the workers will jizz in my food. She’s a female so I’m assuming in order to do this she would have to squat over my food. Either way, no thanks, besides the one at Rainy Day Cafe is cheaper. Like all Lox Bagels it comes with cream cheese, slices of thinly sliced onions, tomato, smoked salmon and capers. Ray and I ordered this before and we’re ordering it again because it was just that good.

Did I mention that they have pastries. I notice that they pastry selection changes from time to time, which is good because that means we’re always going to get something fresh. On this day they had a huge array of baklava. I’m not Jewish, or Russian and maybe that’s why I’m not really crazy about baklava, but it just looked so pretty that I had to get one.

I got one and it came in this over sized container.

Side view of my baklava.

Top view of my baklava. It was a really small piece and cost my somewhere around a buck fifty. This one had pistachios and like all baklava’s, was soaked in honey. I’m glad I didn’t get two because one is usually all I can eat. I like sweet, but baklava’s are too sweet for my liking. Lets me on.

On a separate occasion I had cake. The chocolate cake was moist and spongy and the cream was the soft whipped kind. I’m sorry but I don’t remember how much this cost me, I’m guessing around $3.50, but I do know that it was worth every penny.

There you have it folks. This place is by far the best internet cafe on the island. Lets face it when it comes to internet cafes, it’s all about the ambiance. This place makes for a nice work space. It’s a little hidden right outside the mall which is probably why it’s not always ridiculously busy.

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Rainy Day Cafe
1601 Kapiolani Blvd # 150
Honolulu, HI 96814

(808) 945-9944

I’m sure some of you have been to Ono Hawaiian Food so maybe one of you guys could tell me what the hell is really going on here. I mean every time I drive by during peak hours there’s this ridiculous line out the door. My sister came down from Los Angeles not too long ago so when she said she wanted some authentic Hawaiian food I was like, “sweet I know the perfect place, ” so I think. The food has got to be pretty freaking spectacular if people are willing to wait in line out in the rain like it was the morning of black Friday or something.

We got there just before closing and the people that came a few minutes after us were denied entrance enough though the neon sign said open. As you can see from inside the place looks like a small hole in the wall. I felt like I walked right into someones scrapbook. The walls were covered with clutters of pictures, memories, old newspaper clippings, and random scraps that was obviously pieces of someones life but meant diddle lei squat to me.

Service was below average. There’s Hawaiian service with aloha spirit and then there’s island service with an attitude. This was closer to island service. My sister, being a tourist and extremely picky, kept asking questions that are stupid to us but typical for tourist. “What is haupia? What’s laulau? What’s poi? How is it cooked? Do you guys use a lot of oil? Can you steam it?” I just kept telling myself that she’s your sister and a tourist, they don’t know any better but I could tell our waiter’s patience was wearing thin. Finally we decided upon the Combination Plate. Since it was a combo of a few of their signature items and the most expensive item on the menu, $14.75, I was certain that it would be a kick ass meal. The combination plate came with kalua pig and laulau, pipikaula, lomi salmon, haupia and rice.

Looks like a pile of shit.

This is your asshole . . .

This is your asshole on drugs . . . it blows up. Any questions? I think laulau would have been much more effective then that stupid egg commercial they played year after year. Watching them fry it only made me hungry for a loco moco. Now kids don’t judge a book by its cover. Although the laulau here may look like someones asshole on drugs, it tastes real good. So go ahead and toss that salad. I did and I loved it. No really, this was probably the best thing in the combo plate. The meat was really tender with just enough fat for flavor. I think every tourist that comes here should get their hands on some real laulau before they leave so they know what they’re missing out on back in the mainland.

This is the Lomi Salmon. If this dish looks small to you it’s because it is. All the food came in these small sauce dishes. The sad thing is the picture makes it look bigger than it really is. I took a close up so you guys can see what the food actually looks like. Maybe I just didn’t know how to eat it because It seemed like I was just eating salsa. It was bits of salmon and tons of tomatoes.

This is the Kalua Pig. Like the laulau it was tender, moist, and just overall really good. It wasn’t too salty or too greasy.

Along with our meal came some hot sauce. It was brought in the same sauce dishes as everything else so you guys have an idea of how small everything was.

This is the Pipikaula and no I didn’t eat any of it before I took a picture. It only came with two pieces of meat. Pipikaula can mean anything from cold beef jerky to slow smoked ribs. In this case it was cold beef jerky. And that’s exactly what it tasted like, cold jerky or left over scraps of someones food from two weeks ago left in a to go box in the back of a refrigerator for stupid tourists. It was weird to eat beef jerky for dinner, but fuck it. All I’m saying is next time I get invited to a pot luck my ass is bringing a bag of beef jerky. “What, you guys don’t know about beef jerky for dinner, man you guys gotta get out more. Hawaiians do it all the time, it’s tradition.”

And this is sliced onions. I’m not trying to be ignorant but I am clueless. The more I looked at my dinner the more it seemed like left over scraps. Onions for dinner? I don’t get it. Am I suppose to eat it with the laulau? Put hot sauce over it and eat it with the beef jerky? Or maybe, just maybe it’s plan B for a really bad date. “Oh sorry, I would love to kiss you but I just had a dish of raw onions but thanks for dinner and don’t call me I’ll call you.” That has to be it.

And the last of the Combination Plate was the haupia. It was mushy. I’ve had better.

Along with our Combination Plate Selena ordered a side of Kim Chee, $1.80. It was good. I love homemade kim chee.

Selena also ordered a side of Plain Butterfish (Boiled), $5.25. This was the biggest disappointment for my sister. She kept going on and on about how this tasted exactly like moms fish and how mom would go to the grocery store buy a whole fish and make it exactly like this and it cost less than $5.00 and have enough for two days. I have to agree, $5.25 for a few pieces of cheap fish is absurd to me. The fish was good but I will probably never order this again and my mom makes it so much better.

Like I said, I just don’t get it. This place was on my list of places that I had to try just because of the crazy lines that formed out the door. It’s sad but it seems as though every time I go to one of these long ass lines out the door places I end up being hugely disappointed. This place was no different.

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Ono Hawaiian Food
726 Kapahulu Ave
Honolulu, HI
(808) 737-2275

Did any of you guys get to check out the Haleiwa Surf Competition? I did. It was the first surf competition I’ve been to and I had a blast. We took a brake and took a drive down that famous strip on Kamehameha Hwy and embarked upon Rosie’s Cantina.

It was a good size restaurant, with a full bar. I liked the big windows that let in all that natural light.

Having a clear view of all the dust that gathered atop the green pipes right next to a fan was a little troubling but that went away when our chips and salsa arrived.

For some people the chips and salsa can be the deciding factor of the place. Shane can very well be one of these people he loves chips and salsa. Ray’s deciding factor is the rice and beans, if they can make good rice and beans then it’s very likely that they will make good on everything else. As for me, I have no deciding factor. I say equal opportunity for all my friend. But I have to say if my deciding factor was salsa, this place would be a winner. So far, this place has the best salsa as far as I’m concerned. The chips could have been better, but the salsa takes the cake.

I like my salsa chunky, fresh and spicy enough to where I have to take a break from it and find something else to put in my mouth to offset the spiciness. It wasn’t too spicy, but spicy enough and it had a natural sweetness to it from the tomatoes and onions. I liked it so much at the end of my meal I asked for them to put some in a container so I could have so later and they did, free of charge.

Chile verde has to be my all time favorite traditional Mexican dish and for some reason it’s hard find on Oahu. I know Cholos, Cha Cha Cha’s or Tacos Baja didn’t have it so when I saw it on the menu at Rosie’s I had to get it, $12.50. For those of you not really familiar with chile verde, it’s slow roasted pork in a homemade chile verde sauce or green chile sauce. Now just because it says chile doesn’t mean its hot. As a matter of fact, this dish shouldn’t be hot. Just think of kailua pork or laulau, if you like that kind of stuff as I do, you’ll love you some chili verde. Now that pathetic dish to the left side of my plate, that’s it.

I took a close up so you can properly see what I ate. It came with big chunks of onion, peppers in a chile sauce. I’ve never had chili verde like this before. It was still good, very greasy, and not very much. The pork was definitely slow roasted, very soft and tender. I wasn’t a fan of the sauce though. Usually I like to put everything into a corn tortilla and then spread some chile sauce over it for flavor but I didn’t do that with this one. I think it was the greasy sauce that killed this pork for me.

Ray got the Grilled Lightly Marinated Fresh Ahi Burrito, $1495. It came with Spanish rice and choice of refried beans or black beans. He got refried beans. Inside the burrito was refried beans, cheese, cilantro and onion mix. The burrito was covered with cheese and a special home-made sauce. As far as Mexican food on this island goes, this is not too shabby. Everything tasted authentic. Next time he’s gonna switch it up and go with steak instead of fish. Way to live on the edge babe!

This glob of mess is actually Chicken Fajitas, $13.50. Yeah, I know, it doesn’t really look like it to me either. The chicken fajitas I’m use to usually come on a sizzling platter. It came with rice, it’s under there somewhere, choice of beans, guacamole and sour cream. Even though this looks like a pile of sloppy joes, it was still really tasty. I still would of rather it came on a sizzling platter though, for a more dramatic effect and to keep the chicken warm. I liked that it came with chopped tomatoes and green onions for flavor. I didn’t like that they overlaid the rice and for $13.50 I think they could afford to throw in a side of shredded cheese.

Overall, I can see myself coming back to this place. I didn’t like that they only gave three tortillas for the fajitas and chile verde. I prefer my tortillas served in a separate covered tray so it stays fresh and hot. It wasn’t the best Mexican place ever, but as you probably already know, there’s not a whole lot to choose from around here. If your craving Mexican food this place would definitely hit the spot. However, as you can see, prices weren’t that cheap. I suggest sharing and rack up on the chips and salsa. After we were done we got back in the car and made it just in time to catch the end of the Halewia Surf Competition. Here’s some pictures I took. Enjoy.

Oh young love . . .

Obviously he won.

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Rosie’s Cantina
66-165 Kamehameha Hwy
Haleiwa, HI 96712

Get Directions(808) 637-3538